THERE are some academic communities which appear to operate on a wholesome diet of goodwill and mutual respect and there are others which definitely do not. Problems may include bursts of professional jealousy and the more interesting sins of the flesh, but the most complex is a yawning void between scientists and their colleagues, the administrators.
At its best, the relationship can be mutually beneficial, with both sides gaining from the experience of the other. At its worst, a staggeringly destructive vendetta can split the ranks of these highly educated professionals into factions.
The result can be a culture where the scientists consider the administrators to be idle, overpaid, officious, taking delight in putting obstacles in their way and quite incapable of spotting a good idea even if it had a flashing neon sign over it. Administrators, on the other hand, can believe that scientists are undisciplined, scruffy, arrogant spendthrifts who gleefully defy authority at every opportunity.
Advertisement
Symptoms of this culture include the clustering of scientists and administrators at opposite ends of the coffee room, and a preponderance of hissed conversations which begin: 鈥淒o you know what they鈥檝e done now?鈥� Just in case you have never come across this peculiarly British form of conflict, here is an example from one of the nation鈥檚 more illustrious senior common rooms some years ago.
杏吧原创: 鈥淚 need to order this Megatron XCR20 right now.鈥�
Administrator: 鈥淵ou can鈥檛. There is no funding remaining for capital items in the current financial year.鈥�
杏吧原创: 鈥淏ut I鈥檝e got to have it.鈥�
Administrator: 鈥淵ou should have made a bid for the money at the proper time.鈥�
杏吧原创: 鈥淚鈥檓 a physicist not an accountant. It鈥檚 your job to find the money.鈥�
Administrator: 鈥淲ell, ask for it now and maybe you鈥檒l get it next year.鈥�
杏吧原创: 鈥淚f that鈥檚 your attitude I鈥檒l take the money out of my lab supplies account.鈥�
Administrator (shocked): 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 do that! We cannot allow virement between different accounts.鈥�
杏吧原创: 鈥淲hy not? And what the hell does 鈥榲irement鈥� mean anyway?鈥�
Administrator (spilling his coffee): 鈥淲ell, what is a Megatron XCR20 for that matter?鈥�
As the two of them locked antlers, I beat a hasty retreat. From a safe distance it was possible to see what had gone wrong: both were trying to make a point, but neither was prepared to discuss why things were needed or why systems had to work in a particular way. In their paranoid desire to guard their own ground they were failing to communicate.
Sadly this type of scuffle is often only a preliminary skirmish before the main battle. The real problems start if the relationship between scientist and administrator breaks down completely. Once they stop talking both sides are bound to lose.
Despite this, some organisations breed a blindly rigid class structure which makes imperial Rome look as relaxed as the Woodstock festival. Sadly, this seems to engender a lack of respect for the contribution to the organisation made by those outside your own specialism. If you don鈥檛 know what other people do, you are hardly likely to enthuse about the way they do it.
Examples like the one above are, thankfully, becoming less prevalent. I suspect that a combination of common sense, the dismal economic outlook and sheer survival instinct has convinced all but the most entrenched that both scientists and administrators are really on the same side.
They may not exactly hug each other, but they recognise the necessity of working together. A culture based on mutual respect is more likely to succeed in today鈥檚 harsh environment than one partitioned on the basis of mutual suspicion. Pockets of resistance remain, however, in the darker corners of academia and perhaps now is the time to purge these venomous perceptions once and for all.
I propose that we pledge ourselves to bring a new equality to the workplace. Join the campaign to stamp out the internecine wrangling between scientists and administrators by completing this simple multiple choice statement. Then stick it up in the lab or office to show just what a warm and open person you are. Delete as applicable:
鈥淚 pledge as a member of the New Communication Movement that I will [honour/protect/improve] the [profitable/tolerable/terrible] relationship between scientists and administrators in this [college/university/laboratory]. I further warrant that when I find myself getting [bored/frustrated/annoyed/apoplectic] with one of these [administrators/scientists/turkeys/bozos] I will refrain from [acts of violence/shouting/satire.
鈥淚nstead, I will ask myself: Have I explained what I really mean? Have I listened to what [she/he] is saying? Does it have to be done my way? Has the other way got any benefits for me? Am I making myself look [stupid/arrogant/ignorant]?
鈥淔inally, I undertake that in all my [dealings/disputes] with [scientists/administrators] I will act with [decorum/restraint/true fellowship] and will never again call the [moron down the corridor/lab supervisor/physicist/accountant] a [hippy/weirdo/pompous ass] or a [psychopath/self-seeker/dopehead/mindless jerk].