WHO KNOWS where this 鈥渘ews item鈥� originated? It鈥檚 yet another of those postings on the Internet which reached us via a thoughtful reader, but which cannot be traced back to its source. Sadly, it might well be true.
鈥淪ome men,鈥� it begins, 鈥渨ill go to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they are. Witness Frenchman Pierre Pumpille of Lyon who recently shunted a stationary car two feet by head-butting it. 鈥榃omen thought I was a god,鈥� he explained from his hospital bed.
鈥淒eity or not, however, Pumpille is a veritable girl鈥檚 blouse compared to Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe鈥檚 most macho man by cutting off his own head. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some 鈥榤en鈥檚 games鈥�.
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鈥淚nitially they hit each other over the head with frozen swedes, but then one man seized a chain saw and cut off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and, crying 鈥榃atch this then!鈥�, swung at his own head and chopped it off. 鈥業t鈥檚 funny,鈥� said one companion, 鈥榖ecause when he was young he put on his sister鈥檚 underwear. But he died like a man.'鈥�
ONE OF BRITAIN鈥橲 most unpopular science funding schemes, the Realising Our Potential Awards (ROPAs), has just been reviewed by the government. The ROPAs, you may recall, are only open to researchers with fat-walleted industrial supporters.
In its review, the government defends the fact that this year applicants had a 50:50 chance of getting ROPA money for their research, while many research council projects went unfunded. High success rates? But of course! This is due, the report says, to 鈥渢he relatively straightforward nature of the assessment criteria鈥�, namely, that if you can get 拢25 000 from industry you must be good.
Not everyone was so sure about that. The Medical Research Council, for example, pointed out that big pharmaceuticals companies routinely pay out big bucks for mundane research that could be done as well by a robot as by a Nobel prizewinner. But, the report counters, when we said high rates of success we didn鈥檛 really mean high. We meant to say ROPA success rates are 鈥済enerally consistent鈥� with what happens in other research council grant schemes. (This rather depends on what is meant by 鈥渃onsistent鈥�, given that a council like the MRC is only able to fund around 20 per cent of applicants.)
The report also states: 鈥淭here was no consensus among research councils that, on balance, the 拢25k threshold was wrong.鈥� This, if you think about it, is a nifty way of saying that most of the councils probably did think it was wrong, but happily at least one didn鈥檛. (A likely candidate is the Engineering and physical Sciences Research Council, which took over 40 per cent of the ROPA awards.)
Finally, the report says coyly: 鈥淎 number of panel members may have believed they had less discretionary freedom than was intended.鈥� What this means is that even the government thinks some of these projects weren鈥檛 worth funding.
GREENPEACE has assembled a collection of what it calls 鈥渢est turkeys鈥� 鈥� gaffes made by French officials defending the nuclear tests on Mururoa atoll. If you have access to the Internet you can enjoy them at . Feedback鈥檚 favourite comes from the French ambassador to New Zealand, Jacques le Blanc: 鈥淚 do not like this word 鈥榖omb鈥�. It is not a bomb, it is a device which is exploding.鈥� So now you know.
THREE years ago, on 11 April 1992, this column drew readers鈥� attention to Roger Knutson鈥檚 seminal work Flattened Fauna 鈥� A Field Guide to Common Animals of Roads, Streets and Highways, with its solemn reminder that: 鈥淚n becoming part of the road fauna celebrated in this book, an animal loses not only its life but also its third dimension.鈥� Subsequently we also drew attention to David Larcey鈥檚 follow-up work The Roadkill Cookbook, a collection of gourmet recipes prepared with animals that have been peeled off the road.
Now we learn of another use for animals that have suffered what Knutson calls 鈥渆nroadment鈥�. Geologist Hans Machel of the University of Alberta compares the partial dismemberment and flattening of 鈥渞oadkill鈥� to the processes involved in fossilisation. For fossils, he says, dismemberment is either by predators and scavengers, by wave, current or wind action, or by biological and chemical decay, and flattening is by burial under sediments and/or tectonic stress.
Machel contends that sequential photographs of roadkills, taken minutes to weeks after death, demonstrate the essential aspects of fossilisation. Students are warned that a roadkill studied in this way is likely to lose its flavour and should probably not be eaten.
A LEADING chain of stationery stores in the US sells packets of cards, the size of a business card but thicker and heavier. Each has a peel-off label, and after you peel this off it will stick to an ordinary business card. The extra material is magnetic, so you end up with a magnetic business card.
Intrigued, Feedback asked why this should be useful. 鈥淧eople can then stick your cards to a refrigerator,鈥� explained the store assistant.
This may be true, but the staff had to admit they were flummoxed when Feedback pointed out the obvious side effect. People carry business cards in their wallets. They also carry credit cards in their wallets. Put a magnetic card next to one of these and you get a credit card which does not work because its magnetic strip has been erased. People who hand out magnetic business cards are likely to become very unpopular.
FINALLY, don鈥檛 forget to send in your entry to the Feedback Christmas Competition. This year, in honour of New 杏吧原创鈥檚 recent 2001st issue (28 October), you are invited to look back over the years since the magazine鈥檚 launch in 1956 and tell us about experiments, discoveries, inventions or theories that at the time were hailed as scientific or technological breakthroughs, but have since turned out to be turkeys.
You may submit up to five entries. Twenty lucky winners will each receive the Classic Malts Collection 鈥� a set of six miniature bottles of Scotland鈥檚 finest malt whiskies (Glenkinchie, Cragganmore, Oban, Dalwhinnie, Talisker and Lagavulin), kindly donated by United Distillers.
You may enter the competition by letter, fax or e-mail (edit@feat.newsci.ipc.co.uk). All entries must reach us by 4 December. The editor鈥檚 decision is final.