THERE is hope yet for those of us who hate getting junk mail, thanks to Bob
Beken of San Diego. According to the Computer Privacy Digest, Beken was
shopping at Computer City (owned by Tandy) and paid by cheque. When he noticed
the counter clerk keying his name and address into a computer, he asked if he
was going to get any junk mail as a result. He was told that he would
not.
Just to make sure, Beken took the cheque and wrote a short contract on the
back: 鈥淐omputer City agrees NOT to place Robert Beken on any mailing list or
send him any advertisements or mailings. Computer City agrees that a breach of
this agreement by Computer City will damage Robert Beken and that these damages
may be pursued in court. Further, that these damages for the first breach are
$1,000. The deposit of this cheque for payment is agreement with these terms and
肠辞苍诲颈迟颈辞苍蝉.鈥�
After some discussion, Computer City accepted the cheque. Over the following
months, Beken received four mail solicitations from Computer City. He wrote two
letters in protest but received no reply. Beken then took his case to a small
claims court. The judge agreed that a contract had been broken and awarded Beken
$1000 plus court costs of $21.
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Feedback extends hearty congratulations to Beken, and hopes that many others
will follow his example.
MORE examples of nominative determinism鈥攖he tendency of people to gravitate
towards areas of research that fit their surname鈥攃ontinue to pour in, following
our last excursion into the subject on 27 January. Here is the latest
crop.
Martin Daughton, who supplies information about patents, has amassed a small
collection of nominatively determined inventions. Examples are: adhesive
compositions invented by Karen Bond, thermographic material by Mr Hotta, a boom
for controlling floating weed and oil by Mr Fish, a means of dental anchoring by
Stuart Filhol, a tubeless tyre by Mr Skidmore, a tobacco filter by Paul Coffman,
a new kind of condom by Monsieur L. Cock, and, in a slightly different field of
expertise, a lady who works for AT&T called Edith Ting Ting Ong.
Mrs H. Barnes, on the other hand, has amassed a small collection of
nominatively determined deaths, derived from the book What a Way to Go
by Peter Bowler. They include Dennis Christian, who called on God to uphold him
when he stepped off his 13th-floor balcony and plunged to his death; Joachim
Feller, who sleepwalked through his bedroom window and also fell to his death;
and Stephen Duck, an 18th-century poet who drowned himself.
Other readers sent in just one or two examples: the Master of the West Kent
Hunt is called Mr Gallop (writes Adam Lloyd); a member of the Channel Tunnel
Safety Unit who gives lectures on 鈥淭he Science of the Channel Tunnel鈥� is called
Mr G. Fudger (Ian Smith); the Crewsaver company, which makes lifejackets,
employs an area sales manager called Will Drown (Michael Cross); there is an
author who specialises in ageing called Michael Fossel (Stephen Burt); the
general secretary of the Industrial Water Society is called Sue Pipe; there is,
or was, an employee of the explosives division of the Fraunhofer Institute for
Chemical Technology in Karlsruhe called Professor Zapp (John Ewing).
We have further confirmation, too, that the phenomenon is not confined to the
English language. L. Giudicotti reports that the secretary of the Italian
association of Collectors of Fountain Pens is Giovanni Scrivere (which
translates as John Writing) and Bas van Oosterhout tells us that there is an
eminent Dutch author on trees called Boom (Tree), a chemistry professor at
Leiden University called Zuur (Acid) and an author of a paper on lipids called
Vet (Fat).
Meanwhile, let us also not forget that the company that makes Caverject, a
treatment for erectile failure, is none other than Upjohn.
Finally, Alistair Grieve points out that that on 3 February this magazine
carried an example of the much rarer phenomenon of dual nominative determinism.
In the feature 鈥淓ven aircraft have feelings鈥� mention was made of a researcher
into optical sensors with the name of Ray Measures. Dual nominative determinism
also cropped up recently in The Australian newspaper, which carried an
article about a large ranch in South Australia which is overrun with rabbits.
The manager of the ranch, who is quoted complaining that 鈥渞abbit numbers have
reached plague levels鈥�, is called Warren Breeding.
Thanks to the readers mentioned and the many more who sent in examples which
space forbids us from including. But perhaps it is now time to give this theme a
rest for a while.
YOU ALWAYS know when Zoe the West Highland terrier is around. Zoe has two
problems in life. One is that despite the name, Zoe is male. The other is that a
persistent humming noise emanates from his head鈥攁 humming noise that is audible
to Zoe鈥檚 owners and any other humans who happen to be around.
Earlier this year, the mystified owners took Zoe to a vet, Ian Millar of
Belfast. After various tests and a course of treatment with antibiotics in case
an infection was responsible, Millar professed himself mystified as well. He
wrote to The Veterinary Record asking if anyone could shed light on the
problem.
A couple of weeks later, Patrick Burke of the University of Edinburgh鈥檚 Royal
(Dick) School of Veterinary Studies wrote back. The problem, he suggested, was a
phenomenon known as 鈥渙toacoustic emission鈥�. In this condition, the normal
hearing pathways in the ears are somehow reversed, so that the cochlear efferent
nerve fibres stimulate outer hair cells to vibrate and make a noise. Other parts
of the ear such as the tympanic membrane can then amplify the sound, until you
end up like Zoe, humming wherever you go.
As with tinnitus in humans, there鈥檚 not much that can be done about it,
according to Burke. But with luck, he says, the condition will spontaneously
resolve itself.
LAST WEEK, New 杏吧原创 reported on the worrying setbacks in NASA鈥檚 attempts
to develop a re-entry vehicle that will bring the crew of the international
space station back to Earth in an emergency. This orbiting lifeboat will be
called the Crew Return Vehicle and the prototype has the suffix 鈥淴鈥濃�攁 common
NASA abbreviation for an experimental vehicle.
Naturally, NASA鈥檚 acronym for the project should be CRV-X. But officials
redesignated the project when engineers pointed out that the original acronym,
when spoken quickly, is pronounced 鈥渃ervix鈥�. The project is now known by the
less anatomical acronym X-CRV.