BEING read to is one of the fondly remembered pleasures of childhood;
could this explain the growing popularity of talking books? Much of the child鈥檚
enjoyment comes from the familiarity of a parent鈥檚 voice. This is presumably why
well-known actors are chosen to do talking books鈥� because their voices
will have the warmth, familiarity and conviction to keep the listener鈥檚
attention. Unfortunately, it does not always work.
Take Tony Britton, for example, who reads Aldous Huxley鈥檚 Brave New
World (HarperCollins, 拢6.80, ISBN 0 00 104797 3) in that avuncular,
chummy and slightly conspiratorial way that Peter Jones used as The Book in the
BBC鈥檚 original Hitch Hikerseries. It is fine in small doses, but grates
after the first five minutes. With her massive following as Special Agent Scully
in the X Files, Gillian Anderson may have seemed a sensible choice to
read Kevin J. Anderson鈥檚 X Files: Ground Zero (HarperCollins Audio
Books, 拢7.99, ISBN 0 00 104989 5), but she sounds weary and a little bored
for the three-hour reading.
These actors all perform rather than read. This doesn鈥檛 work on most tapes,
but is probably worst in Kate Burton鈥檚 rendering of Patricia Cornwell鈥檚 forensic
thriller Cruel and Unusual (HarperCollins, 拢6.80, ISBN 0 00
104714 0)鈥攁 story which, at least in the taped version, breaks the basic
rule of thriller-writing by making the denouement depend on information not
given to the listener until the end of the story.
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Maybe that is an editing fault; most talking book fiction seems to be poorly
adapted. For example, the audio version of Aldous Huxley鈥檚 satire about
eugenics, Brave New World, turns it into almost solely an erotic novel.
The blurb on the X Files carelessly refers to events in the book that
do not feature in the tape. The story is fine, but the language is riddled with
clich茅s that seem more obvious when spoken; no wonder Anderson sounds fed
up.
Sophie鈥檚 World by Jostein Gaarder (HarperCollins Audio Books,
拢12.99, ISBN 0 00 105046 X), is an overview of the development of the
world鈥檚 philosophical ideas in bite-sized chunks. The trouble with the audio
version is that some bites are too big to swallow in one go. With a real book
you could pause, and turn back a few pages to check something. Again, with a
real book, the reader dictates the pace; you can skim the boring bits, and
linger on the interesting sections. With a talking book,
it-all-comes-at-the-same-pace.
Stephen Jay Gould鈥檚 Dinosaur in a Haystack (Dove Audio,
$24.95, ISBN 0 7871 0743 3) reveals another problem. This is an excellent
collection of essays, 鈥渞eflections in natural history鈥� covering fascinating
subjects. Gould鈥檚 approach is akin to Alistair Cooke鈥檚 Letter from
America: he begins with some topic, wanders off into a seemingly irrelevant
byway or two, then brings it together in a satisfying conclusion. The essays
display a sharp intellect suffused with warm humour. But in a book of essays you
can glance through the index to find references鈥攖his audio version does
not even have a content list. There are six hours of essays on eight sides of
four cassettes. Somewhere is a particular essay by Gould that you want to
hear鈥攂ut where? A simple 鈥渢rack listing鈥� would help鈥攂ut no, the
cardboard casing of each cassette is used for advertisements.
It鈥檚 difficult to believe how many things the producers and packagers of
these talking books have got wrong. BBC鈥檚 Radio Four has been doing it for
decades鈥攕hort stories, adaptations of novels, personal opinion pieces,
scientific, historical or philosophical lectures鈥攁nd getting it right. If
the original author is not available, or does not have a good voice, you employ
an actor. He or she then either acts properly or reads simply; to 鈥減erform鈥� the
spoken word adds a layer of artificiality that gets between the text and the
listener.
Presumably most people listen to talking books when they are on their own,
driving to work. (They鈥檙e not so good on trains and tubes; there鈥檚 too much
background noise.) I cannot quite see the family sitting around the stereo to
listen to one together. Two or three people sitting in the same room reading
different books is fine; but those same two or three people listening to
different talking books through headphones would seem somehow symptomatic of
today鈥檚 societal alienation.
Me, I鈥檓 off to buy a copy of the Gould鈥檚 essays鈥攊n a book.