THE Callminder plot thickens. One reader suggests that Callminder should stop
calling the user when it has recorded a message, and simply signal the fact by
making the dial tone stutter. But as other readers note, Callminder already
stutters the dial tone and this stops their PC modems working.
It gets worse. When Callminder is overworked, it cannot be reached to
disgorge its messages. But the stutter tone persists for as long as it takes you
to get through, retrieve messages and get a normal dial tone again. This, says
one reader, has taken him three hours. BT鈥檚 helpline has been unable to help
with a stutter modem cure.
The trouble stems from the fact that most modems and Internet software will
only dial a number after they have sensed that the phone line is working. They
do this by listening for the standard dial tone, and they are too dumb to tell
the difference between an interrupted stutter and a dead line. On hearing a
stutter, the modem assumes the line is dead and refuses to dial. There is a
solution, not often found in instruction manuals and never in plain English. But
like most computer fixes, it is only simple when you know how.
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Buried somewhere in the Internet connection software there should be a setup
option 鈥淲ait for dial tone?鈥� Just answer, No. The modem should now obligingly
dial into the stutter. All is not lost, even without this option. Add the
command X3 ahead of the normal dialling command which the PC software uses. So
the dialling command ATDT12345678 (where 12345678 is the telephone number)
becomes ATX3DT12345678. The PC and modem completely ignore the dial tone and
dial anyway.
By the way, the same trick works equally well if you are trying to use a PC
in an hotel where the switchboard is generating a non-standard dial tone in an
attempt to stop people sending faxes from their rooms, instead of paying the
hotel business centre a small fortune for the service.
WITH the South Korean company LG recently announcing its intention to site a
拢1.7 billion electronic complex at Newport, Wales, local people have
started to look more closely at Korean culture and customs. Reading a list of
鈥渄on鈥檛s鈥�, which included 鈥渄on鈥檛 point or beckon using your finger in public鈥� and
鈥渄on鈥檛 stick chopsticks upright into rice鈥�, Mike Francis鈥檚 attention was drawn
to 鈥渄on鈥檛 write in red ink, it conveys hostility鈥�.
This brought a wry smile to his face, he says. 鈥淎s a scientific editor of
three international chemistry journals, we always, without exception, edit
manuscripts in red ink. As a significant number of our authors are South Korean,
I now know why we frequently get letters complaining of `hostile鈥� editing!鈥�
ONE of Feedback鈥檚 correspondents monitors an Internet forum for
entomologists, where several scientists were upset about a recent journal
article. 鈥淣ine new species and a new genus of Dominican amber ants鈥� wouldn鈥檛
excite the interest or anger of many, but one of the irritated scholars explains
that the article ends with a discussion on whether the piece of Caribbean amber
that contained the ants鈥攄ated to around 25 million years ago鈥攚as
deposited 鈥渂efore or after the Flood鈥�.
However, this unusual line of inquiry is not as surprising as it seems, since
the article appeared in Creation Research Quarterly, a publication of
the Creation Research Society. To be fair, the descriptions of the ancient ants
are apparently of reasonable quality.
AND talking of ants, Feedback has just filed a story on ants and their fungi
farms in The Economist under 鈥淏iologists do the strangest things鈥�.
Apparently, leaf-cutter ants cultivate patches of fungi, and biologists Melanie
Bass of Trinity College, Carmarthen, and Malcolm Cherret of the University of
Wales at Bangor suspected that they were pruning their fungi to stimulate
further growth. But they had to eliminate other possibilities, such as ants鈥�
faeces fertilising the patch.
This was tested 鈥渂y emptying the rectums of the workers鈥efore letting them
loose on in the garden鈥�. This rather begs the question鈥攈ow do they do
that? On second thoughts, please don鈥檛 write in and explain.
COMPUTER errors continue to haunt readers. Peter Hamer recalls a UNIX system
which explained away a numerical error code as 鈥減robably a hardware or software
error鈥濃�攑resumably leaving open the possibility of an act of God. Despair
really set in for John Deas when he received the consecutive messages 鈥淵ou have
reached the bottom鈥� followed, after pressing F1, by 鈥淭here is no help here鈥�.
Meanwhile, Charles Stanley-Smith points out that the UNIX error message for a
system crash is 鈥淧anic鈥�. 鈥淚 have never been able to work out if this is what
it鈥檚 doing or what you are meant to do,鈥� he notes.
But time can fly past once you know what you鈥檙e doing. Gordon Buxton received
a warning from a piece of shareware that his evaluation licence had expired
because he had been using it for 375 487 days. Not bad for a 1028-year-old
PC.
SCOTT ADAMS has been comforting men on the Net by telling them
that they are the sex symbols of the 1990s. His less than persuasive argument is
that women prefer men who listen. Adams suggests: 鈥淐omputer users are excellent
listeners because they can look at you for long periods of time without saying
anything.鈥� And they are environmentally sound. 鈥淲ith the ozone layer
evaporating, it鈥檚 good to mate with somebody who has an indoor hobby,鈥� he
says.
If Feedback readers are wondering how romance can bloom in such unlikely
circumstances, Adams reckons: 鈥淣othing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts
illuminated by only a 15-inch SVGA monitor.鈥� Feedback begs to differ.
FOLLOWING on from last week鈥檚 hints for a healthy and fun-filled old age, a
reader draws our attention to a helpful leaflet produced by Cambridge social
services for those who have gone one step beyond. We are told: 鈥淭he social
security office also provides a new guide What to do After Death
telling you what to do and the help you can get. It is a very useful and
comprehensive document covering all eventualities.鈥� Always best to be prepared,
eh?