HEADLINES, as any experienced journalist will tell you, are an art
form. They should draw you into reading the article, while telling you something
about the story.
The following headlines were sent to us by Gaby Vanhegan, who was sent them
by a friend via the Net. They come, we are told, from 鈥渢he Notebook pages of
The New Republic鈥� and they all appeared in the US in 1995. A short
introduction lauds them for demonstrating a 鈥渇irm grasp of the obvious鈥�.
Feedback agrees with this, and feels that aspiring journalists everywhere should
learn from them as models of the headline writer鈥檚 art.
鈥淪tudy finds sex, pregnancy link鈥�, Cornell Daily Sun, December.
Advertisement
鈥淲hatever their motives, moms who kill kids still shock us鈥�, Holland
Sentinel, date unknown.
鈥淪urvey finds dirtier subways after cleaning jobs were cut鈥�, The New York
Times, 22 November.
鈥淟arger kangaroos leap farther, researchers find鈥�, The Los Angeles
Times, 2 November.
鈥淟ight meals are lower in fat, calories鈥�, Huntington Herald-Dispatch
, 30 November.
鈥淎lcohol ads promote drinking鈥�, The Hartford Courant, 18
November.
鈥淢alls try to attract shoppers鈥�, The Baltimore Sun, 22 October.
鈥淥fficial: only rain will cure drought鈥�, The Herald-News, Westport,
Massachusetts, 4 September.
鈥淭eenage girls often have babies fathered by men鈥�, The Sunday
Oregonian, 24 September.
鈥淭omatoes come in big, little, medium sizes鈥�, The Daily Progress,
Charlottesville, Virginia, 30 March.
鈥淒irty-air cities far deadlier than clean ones, study shows鈥�, The New
York Times, 10 March.
鈥淢an run over by freight train dies鈥�, The Los Angeles Times, 2
March.
鈥淓conomist uses theory to explain economy鈥�, Collinsville
Herald-Journal, 8 February.
鈥淐ourt rules boxer shorts are indeed underwear鈥�, Journal of Commerce
, 20 April.
鈥淏iting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person鈥�, The Daily Gazette of
Schenectady, New York, 2 May.
鈥淟ack of brains hinders research鈥�, The Columbus Dispatch, 16
April.
鈥淗ow we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author鈥�,
Sunday Camera, Boulder, Colorado, 5 February.
鈥淔ish lurk in streams鈥�, Democrat & Chronicle, Rochester, New
York, 29 January.
CIA OFFICIALS who logged on to their own Web site on the Internet
recently were shocked to discover that it had been renamed. A group of Swedish
hackers, angry over a court case in their country, had broken into it and
changed the wording to 鈥淐entral Stupidity Agency鈥�. The altered CIA page was also
linked to various sex, music and Scandinavian hacker sites, the Norwegian news
agency NTB tells us.
The case the hackers were angry about involves a different group of young
Swedish hackers who were caught in 1991 but whose trial began only this week.
The offending Web page, which officials emphasised is not linked to the internal
files of the CIA, was removed after about 12 hours.
THE NATURAL History Museum鈥檚 Christmas catalogue arrived last
week, full as usual of attractive gift ideas.
It is also quite informative. Did you know, for example, that the museum
originated from a private collection owned by a wealthy physician, Sir Hans
Sloane?
鈥淚n 1753,鈥� the catalogue tells us, 鈥淪ir Hans Sloane bequeathed his vast
collection of animal and plant specimens, minerals and books, which included
specimens collected by Darwin during the voyage of the Beagle鈥o the
British Museum. The collection eventually became so large that it warranted its
own home鈥︹��
Isn鈥檛 that fascinating? Especially since Darwin wasn鈥檛 born until 1809, and
the voyage of the Beagle took place between 1831 and 1836.
PHILIP SHAW writes to draw our attention to a puzzling note that
appears on bottles of Sarson鈥檚 vinegar: 鈥淐ontains no additives or
preservatives,鈥� it says.
Surely, Shaw reasons, vinegar is itself a preservative. Isn鈥檛 that why we
pickle things in it?
THE ANNUAL Ig Nobel prizes for those whose achievements in science
鈥渃annot or should not be reproduced鈥� are announced this week. In a ceremony at
Harvard University on 3 October, a group of genuine Nobel laureates have been
lined up to present the awards prior to performing as insects in the world
premiere of a mini-opera starring two mezzo-sopranos as cockroaches.
Among the awards in this, the sixth annual Ig Nobel prize ceremony, are:
Biology: Anders Baerheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of Bergen
Norway, for their 鈥渢asty and tasteful鈥� report, 鈥淓ffect of Ale, Garlic and Soured
Cream on the Appetite of Leeches鈥� (British Medical Journal, vol 309, 24
December 1994).
Medicine: James Johnstone of R. J. Reynolds, Joseph Taddeo of US Tobacco,
Andrew Tisch of Lorillard, William Campbell of Philip Morris, and the late
Thomas E. Sandefur Jr, chairman of Brown and Williamson Tobacco, 鈥渇or their
unshakable discovery, as testified to the US Congress鈥�, that nicotine is not
addictive.
Peace: Jacques Chirac, President of France, for commemorating the 50th
anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima with atomic bomb tests in the
Pacific.
Public Health: Ellen Kleist of Nuuk, Greenland, and Harald Moi of Oslo,
Norway, for their 鈥渃autionary鈥� medical report 鈥淭ransmission of Gonorrhea Through
an Inflatable Doll鈥� (Genitourinary Medicine, vol 69, no 4, August
1993).
Chemistry: George Goble of Purdee University, for his 鈥渂listering world
record time for igniting a barbecue grill鈥濃�攖hree seconds, using charcoal
and liquid oxygen.
Literature: The editors of the journal Social Text, for eagerly
publishing research that they could not understand, that the author said was
meaningless, and which claimed that reality does not exist. (The paper, which
the author admitted was a hoax, was 鈥淭ransgressing the Boundaries: Toward a
Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity鈥�, by Alan Sokel, Social
Text, Spring/Summer 1996).
Economics: Robert J. Genco of the University of Buffalo, for his discovery
that 鈥渇inancial strain is a risk indicator for destructive periodontal
诲颈蝉别补蝉别鈥�.
Following the presentation of the awards, plaster casts of the genuine Nobel
laureates鈥� feet are being auctioned.