IT IS with great mortification that we have to confess that this column has
unwittingly participated in the dissemination of an urban myth. Arthur
Goldstuck, an indefatigable investigative journalist and general debunker, has
pieced together how a probable fantasy about a hospital cleaner at Pelonomi
Hospital in Free State, South Africa, became accepted around the world as true,
and ended up in Feedback on 28 September.
The story concerned a hospital cleaner who came in every Friday, unplugged a
life support system in order to plug in her floor polisher, and unknowingly
killed the patient. The anecdote鈥檚 origins probably go back many years, but in
its current manifestation it initially ran in the local Afrikaans newspaper,
Die Volksblad (The People鈥檚 Paper), where it was described as
an 鈥渁lleged incident鈥� according to 鈥渞umours鈥� which were being investigated by
the hospital. However, the respected Cape Times eventually picked the
story up and, despite doubts about its veracity, repeated it鈥攚ithout
the words 鈥渁lleged鈥� and 鈥渞umours鈥�, but with an important caveat: 鈥淎 hospital
spokesperson said he did not know about the incident.鈥�
Enter the Internet, that great promoter of fiction as fact. The story got
onto the Net, where it began to circulate feverishly. The Net version was
credited to the Cape Times and was presented as a direct reproduction
of the newspaper article. In fact, it was substantially rewritten with, for
example, the Cape Times caveat removed.
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When we came across the story ourselves, we, too, were doubtful about it. But
the source seemed impeccable, and a phone call to the Cape Times got
the fateful response: 鈥淵es, we did run the story and, yes, the story is true.鈥�
So the cleaner who polished off patients duly appeared in Feedback, receiving
what Goldstuck calls 鈥渢he next step up the ladder of credibility鈥�.
And that, dear readers, is how urban myths spread and become legitimised.
You can read the full, fascinating account, along with reproductions of each
successive and more fantastical published version of the story, as well as
speculation about its probable origin in folklore, in Goldstuck鈥檚 excellent Web
site: http://www.web.co.za/arthur/cleanfaq.htm
Just one question remains. Is the story really a complete myth? Or is there,
somewhere, a grain of truth in it? Not even Goldstuck can give the final answer
to that one.
THIS MONTH鈥橲 issue of Evolutionary Ecology, a sober scientific
journal, contains a lead article entitled, 鈥淓cological stability, evolutionary
stability and the ESS maximum principle鈥�. The authors of this piece, which is
not about sunflowers, are T. L. Vincent, M. V. Van, and B. S. Goh.
Too coincidental to be true? Well, yes and no. Feedback called Tom Vincent,
an aerospace engineer at the University of Arizona, to ask about his
coauthors.
Goh is for real, said Vincent; he鈥檚 at the University of Western Australia.
As for Van, Vincent says: 鈥淗e鈥檚 a Korean, and the M. V. stands for Moo Ving.鈥�
Van was a 鈥渧isitor鈥� to Vincent鈥檚 department, but hardly played a major role in
the production of the paper.
鈥淲e couldn鈥檛 pass up the opportunity,鈥� Vincent admitted.
SHOULD landowners be compensated for agreeing not to harvest crops
from fields containing rare breeding birds? The issue is being heatedly
discussed at the moment on a birdwatchers鈥� Internet group,
ukbirdnet@dcs.bbk.ac.uk.
Recently, according to one posting, rare sparrows were attempting to breed in
a hay field, just as the crop was about to be harvested. A conservation
organisation stepped in and, after quite lucrative compensation had been paid to
the farmer for the loss of the harvest, the birds were left in peace.
Sounds fine, doesn鈥檛 it? But the birds in question are a protected species,
so any attempted harvest would have been illegal anyway. In other words, the
farmer was paid not to break the law, which is rather like paying someone a lot
of money not to rob a bank.
To make matters worse, some canny farmers have got wise to this new form of
鈥渟ubsidy鈥� and have started claiming they can鈥檛 touch their crops
either鈥攅ven though their fields contain nothing more rare than a couple of
blackbirds.
An inspector visiting such a field in Ireland had his suspicions raised by
the monotonous regularity of the birds calling from within the hay meadow. On
entering the field, against the landowner鈥檚 will, the inspector found a cassette
player and a loop tape.
MORE evidence that children are forever going to be at the
forefront of the digital information age comes from Howard Divins. He tells an
Internet humour site that he was clearing his bookshelf when he was asked the
question 鈥淲hat is an encyclopedia?鈥� by his five-year-old daughter.
He explained that you could look things up in them and learn more about many
topics. He used the example of the hummingbird, and showed her the pictures and
text in volume 鈥淗鈥�.
After a moment or two of thought, she said, 鈥淥h, I get it. It鈥檚 just like
Encarta but in books!鈥�
Encarta, of course, is one of the multimedia CD-ROM encyclopedias, sales of
which overtook their equivalents in print last year.
WE ARE pleased to see that the Open University鈥檚 geology glossary has been
geared to all age groups. Between the definitions of 鈥渇unctional morphology鈥�
(鈥渢he study of morphological features in fossils鈥�) and 鈥済abbro鈥� (鈥渁
coarse-grained intrusive igneous rock鈥�) we find 鈥渇unnel鈥�.
The definition reads: 鈥淚n cephalopods, the structure beneath the head through
which water is pumped out from the mantle cavity during propulsion. Also, the
black tube-like structure at the anterior end of Thomas the Tank Engine.鈥�
LASTLY, a final reminder about Feedback鈥檚 Christmas competition. The
challenge is to suggest 10 questions you would ask an alien if you met one. You
have just a week left to enter: the competition closes on 6 December and no
entries will be accepted after that date.
The prize for the 20 winners will be the nucleus of a small but perfectly
formed whisky miniatures collection, the Classic Malts selection from United
Distillers. You can send your entry via post, fax or e-mail. The editor鈥檚
decision is final.