TITAN 鈥攐ne of Saturn鈥檚 moons鈥攈as much in common with
the Earth. As well as a thick atmosphere its most abundant gas is nitrogen. But
the surface temperature is 鈥�178 掳C and the likelihood of life existing
there is rather smaller than the chance of Feedback scooping the lottery
jackpot.
Nevertheless when the European Space Agency鈥檚 Huygens space probe takes off
in October it will carry a million messages from Earthlings to Titan鈥檚
inhabitants. ESA has been collecting the messages on its Web site, which closed
last week.
But if Titanites ever do manage to decipher the computer disc with the
messages they will surely get a bewildering portrait of an Earthling鈥檚
psychology. Among the offers of wine and pasta for any visiting aliens is this
lonely hearts ad: 鈥淭all female French Earthling seeks tall handsome alien,
romantic if possible,鈥� says Florence Dugoua, 30.
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No one declares war outright on the aliens, but a 鈥淧resident Bill Clinton鈥�,
who has found a previously unknown fluency in French, invites Titan to 鈥渂ecome
the next state of the United States鈥�. While Christelle Levrat鈥檚 contribution may
not help the cause of peace in the Solar System: 鈥淗ello little green worms.鈥�
APART from the Titan mission, ESA has not had much luck involving
the public in space. The COBRAS/SAMBA mission is intended to measure small
fluctuations in background radiation. But the agency decided to do away with
double-barrelled names. The obvious contraction COSA fell foul of the Italians,
who pointed out that it can mean 鈥淲hat is it?鈥� in Italian.
So with New 杏吧原创鈥檚 help (鈥淕enesis to Exodus鈥�, 19 October 1996,
p 30) ESA asked the public for suggestions. But it did not think much of the
idea of launching RAMBO (Radiation Anomaly & Microwave Background
Observatory) or FOG (Fingerprint of God). And the cash-strapped agency thought
even less of the person who suggested Satellite for Cosmic Anistropy
Measurements鈥攐r SCAM.
So what is the new name? In the end ESA rejected all external suggestions and
named the mission Planck. As in Max Planck, the German physicist, and not, as
readers might be tempted to think, as in 鈥渢hick as a鈥︹��.
IN the US, official state animals are ten a penny. New York has
the beaver, several states lay claim to the white-tailed deer and Missouri has
the mule. The state bird of Texas is the mockingbird, and Illinois has a state
insect鈥攖he monarch butterfly.
Some states have even adopted fossils鈥攏ot just those in government
either. Nevada, for instance, has the ichthyosaur. Now Texas is considering
adopting a state molecule鈥攂uckminsterfullerene. Doubtless the Texans are
proud that two of last year鈥檚 three chemistry Nobel prizewinners for the 60-atom
buckyballs are professors at Rice University in Houston. A big molecule for a
big state.
AMONG the many beneficiaries of the swords being beaten into
ploughshares since the end of the Cold War are America鈥檚 golfers. Not that
nuclear warheads have yet been turned into golf clubs, but the Pacific Northwest
National Laboratory鈥檚 research is helping to keep the grass on golf courses lush
and green.
The lab has a bad nuclear waste problem, a hangover from its bomb-making
days. Several years ago, it developed RootGuard, a polymer containing a
herbicide that blocked the growth of plant roots. The original purpose was to
prevent roots from growing down into buried nuclear waste and bringing
radioactive isotopes up to the surface. Now the same herbicide will be used to
prevent plants from blocking the irrigation pipes on golf courses.
SUFFERING from information overload? Are you stressed by all the paper in
your in-tray and the messages in your e-mail? Well, here鈥檚 some help from
Reuters.
The company鈥檚 survey Dying for Information looks at pressing
questions such as where all this junk is coming from. A lot of it is
unsolicited, just like Reuters鈥� own 56-page document.
But the killer question asked by the survey was: do you agree with the
statement that 鈥淢y social life often suffers as a result of working late to deal
with all the material accumulated?鈥� No chance. Feedback stuffed the survey in
the recycling bin and headed straight for the pub.
ARE whooper swans able to read each other鈥檚 leg-rings? A female
swan was ringed at birth and her life studied by the Wildfowl and Wetlands
Trust. Her large leg-ring bore the letters PLJ, which also happens to be the
name of a well-known lemon juice product that was popular in the 1960s (PLJ
stood for 鈥減ure lemon juice鈥�).
When it came to choosing a mate, out of all the handsome hunks available, PLJ
fell for a male with a leg-ring bearing the letters JIF鈥攚hich is, of
course, another brand of lemon juice.
THE insurance giant Allied Dunbar is always happy to produce
quotes for life insurance. Naturally enough, smokers have to pay more. The
company鈥檚 actuaries know only too well that the life expectancy of regular
smokers is about six years less than for nonsmokers. So Allied Dunbar doubles
the smokers鈥� premium. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a fact of life that smokers are a greater risk than
non-smokers,鈥� says a spokesman.
And it鈥檚 also a fact that Allied Dunbar is owned by BAT
Industries鈥攐therwise known as British American Tobacco鈥攖he world鈥檚
second largest producer of cigarettes, including such brands as Lucky Strike.
Would a regular addict of Lucky Strike be entitled to a discount on their life
insurance, Feedback wondered. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 do deals,鈥� was the spokesman鈥檚 sour
response.
LATE NEWS: London鈥檚 Science Museum in South Kensington has an exhibit in 鈥淭he
Secret Life of the Home鈥� section dealing with domestic appliances. The text on
microwaves explains that the complex mathematics of how a magnetron generates
microwave radiation was worked out by 鈥渢he late Dr K. Posthumus in Holland in
the 1930s鈥�. Er, surely some tautology here?
PSST Want to win 拢50? Well this is your last chance. All we want is a
list of the 10 weirdest stories that you have seen in New 杏吧原创
over the past 41 years, which will help us compile an anthology about the
stranger side of science.
The senders of the editor鈥檚 choice of the five best lists (minimum of 10
items per list) will each win a 拢50 prize. Send your entries to Feedback,
entitled 鈥淏izarre鈥�, to reach us by 11 March.