JUST when you thought you鈥檇 got all Britain鈥檚 research councils sorted out
(Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council, Particle Physics and
Astronomy Research Council, Biotechnology and Biological Sciences Research
Council, Medical Research Council, Economic and Social Research Council and the
Natural Environment Research Council), along comes a most unexpected notice.
鈥淭he Apple and Pear Research Council to be reviewed鈥�, says the press release
from the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. Its future is uncertain,
we are told, and it may not survive. Alas, and we didn鈥檛 even know it
existed.
MEANWHILE it seems that someone at Microsoft has come down with a bad case of
religious fervour. When Andrew Ferguson opened up the thesaurus in Word 7 with
the word 鈥渢he鈥� inadvertently selected, the computer suggested replacing it with
鈥渢he Birth of Christ鈥�.
Advertisement
IS THE English language safe in Bill Gates鈥檚 hands? Elizabeth Shepherd from
Chicago reports that when she asked Microsoft鈥檚 Word 5.1 on her Macintosh for a
synonym for 鈥渂oisterous鈥�, it suggested 鈥渃oaybtete-leranous鈥�. Impressed by the
resonance of the phrase, she wants to start using it at once.
Our advice to readers who might have the same idea is to desist. Even though
鈥渃oaybtete-leranous鈥� appears in Word鈥檚 thesaurus, it does not seem to have been
used in earnest anywhere else鈥攏ot yet, anyway.
It is, however, mentioned on Anu Garg鈥檚 Wordsmith pages
(http://www.wordsmith.org/archives/1095), where matters lexical often get a
thorough airing. One explanation on offer is that 鈥渃oaybtete-leranous鈥� was
thrown up by a glitch in Microsoft鈥檚 computer. Others suggest it is an invention
designed to catch anyone who rips off the thesaurus and passes it off as their
own.
But the incident has got Feedback worried. What if the invented word had a
more plausible ring to it? Writers might then have started using it without a
second thought. And once people start using a word, then it soon becomes part of
the language.
So Feedback鈥檚 advice is to be on your guard. Microsoft鈥檚 domination of PC
software is one thing, but appropriating the very language really is going too
far.
THANKS to Chris Goddard, who writes to point out that the Australian building
worker who chewed electric cables to ease his nicotine craving (Feedback, 8
February) was only one of a crowd. The pastime is in fact quite a common
one鈥攕o much so that Franco Gottica et al were moved to write a paper on it
for The American Journal of Industrial Medicine.
鈥淐hewing Electrical Wire Coatings: An Unusual Source of Lead Poisoning鈥�
appears in the publication鈥檚 February 1994 edition (vol 25, p 291).
EVERYONE knows that in 1948 Bell Labs invented the transistor, we suggested,
when noting that the annual report of the European Patent Office credited the
invention to Westinghouse (7 December). Now an examiner at the British Patent
Office has unearthed a US Patent, number 1 745 175, filed in 1925 by Julius
Lilienfeld of Brooklyn.
As the British examiner points out, Lilienfeld was describing a device 鈥渇or
controlling electric currents鈥�, which looks suspiciously like an early field
effect transistor. But it is now too late to find out whether the inventor was
just an armchair dreamer or succeeded in making a working FET.
This reminded us of a story a colleague tells about a chance meeting at a
hi-fi show in 1975 with the inventor Oskar Heil. During their chat, Heil
casually mentioned that he had invented a transistor and got it working on a lab
bench in Germany in the early 1930s.
Being a bit of sceptic, our colleague went to a patent library and searched
through the patent records. Sure enough, Heil was listed as owner of British
Patent 439 457, filed in Germany in 1934. The document neatly described the
working principles of a modern FET.
All of which reinforces the old adage that there really is nothing new under
the Sun. But so far no one has come up with a patent from Westinghouse that
proves the EPO was right all along.
EVERY TIME we run a joke in this column, readers write in to tell
us they鈥檝e heard it before. So let鈥檚 just hope that at least some of you haven鈥檛
already come across this little gem, which is doing the rounds of the chemistry
discussion groups on the Net.
Two undergraduate chemists at Newcastle University did very well in their
mid-term exams. Their practical results were squeaky clean鈥攂oth were
heading for a first. In fact, the two friends were so certain of their chances
that they spent the weekend before finals week fell-walking and partying at a
hilltop youth hostel.
Either because of all the fresh air or a few too many beers on the Sunday
night, they didn鈥檛 make it back to Newcastle until mid-Monday morning, by which
time their crucial final exam had already started.
Instead of going in late, they spoke to their professor and explained that
their car got a flat tyre on the way back to university and the spare was dud.
The professor was a lenient chap and agreed they could take the exam the
following day.
The friends were extremely relieved and studied hard that night. Come the
exam, they were put in separate rooms and given the paper. Question one was a
simple test of chemical reactions (5 points) so the students thought the exam
was going to be easy. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the
next page. It said: 鈥淲hich tyre? (95 points)鈥�
STRANGE wacky, weird, bizarre . . . Lists of the oddest stories
readers have come across in New 杏吧原创 continue to arrive. Many
thanks for helping us compile our anthology of the stranger side of science.
There is still time for more. Please send us your list of the
items鈥攆rom any part of the magazine鈥攖hat have stuck in your mind
because they are so strange, along with as accurate references as you can
manage. They could be from the dim and distant past, or from recent issues.
The editor will choose the five best lists (minimum of 10 items per list) and
the sender of each will receive a 拢50 prize. Send your entries to
Feedback, entitled 鈥淏izarre鈥�, to reach us by 11 March.