BROADCASTING regulators in Britain are running round in circles trying to
find a way to prevent Rupert Murdoch from becoming the gatekeeper of digital
broadcasting. They know that Murdoch鈥檚 News International empire owns key patent
rights and know-how on 鈥渃onditional access鈥�, the technology that broadcasters
must use to charge customers and earn revenue from digital TV programmes.
This technology is handled by a company called DMV, which is owned by another
called News Digital Systems, which is itself owned by Murdoch鈥檚 News
Corporation. Normally DMV is very secretive, but a recent announcement spells
out how the British government gave Murdoch the opportunity to become
gatekeeper in the first place.
That, of course, was not the intention of the announcement, which was meant
to honour DMV鈥檚 research manager, Arthur Mason, who got an OBE in the New Year鈥檚
Honours List for his contribution to broadcasting technology. DMV reminds us
that he 鈥渃reated many of the basic principles of conditional access for
pay-television鈥�, and 鈥渃reated, demonstrated and drove the practical aspects of
digital terrestrial broadcasting which form the basis of the 1996 Broadcasting
础肠迟鈥�.
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The sting is in the biography which Murdoch鈥檚 publicity people have helpfully
attached. This tells how Mason joined the government-owned Independent
Broadcasting Authority (IBA) laboratories in 1973. In 1990, the government
privatised the labs, but its new owners, NTL, continued working on digital TV
until 1995, under contract from the Independent Television Commission (ITC), the
national TV broadcasting watchdog. In October that year Rupert Murdoch bought
the advanced products division of NTL and renamed it DMV. The division had by
then done the key research on digital TV, paid for by the British public through
the IBA and ITC.
Murdoch鈥檚 purchase of NTL鈥檚 research division may very well go down as the
smartest buy of his career.
OH DEAR, what an absent-minded lot some of you are.
On 15 February we reported a 鈥渟illy鈥� warning on a packet of daffodil bulbs
which cautioned: 鈥淒o not eat ornamental bulbs.鈥� Reader after reader has written
in to tell us how they or their spouses once left bulbs in the fridge to winter
them and ended up consuming them in soups, stews or salads in the belief that
they were garlic or onions. The result has frequently been bouts of major
intestinal upheaval.
Many readers have also written to tell of the experience of the Dutch during
the Second World War. In the winter of 1944/1945, known as the Hunger Winter,
many people under the German occupation had virtually no food. They were reduced
to eating tulip bulbs to avoid starving. Paul van Mook remembers that these
tasted 鈥渄isgustingly sweet鈥�. He adds that the bulbs were not poisonous and were
not treated with toxic chemicals at that time, though anyone who tried daffodil
or hyacinth bulbs sincerely regretted it.
Perhaps that warning wasn鈥檛 so silly after all.
THE ROYAL MINT has got it wrong about its former Master, Isaac Newton,
again.First it put the great man on the old 拢1 banknote and messed
up the orbits of the planets beside him. Now, on the new 拢2 coin soon to
go into circulation, the mint has written 鈥渙n the shoulders of giants鈥� round the
edge, explaining at the coin鈥檚 press launch that this 鈥渕odest statement鈥� by
Newton refers to his work on gravity.
In reality, the statement predates the work on gravity by several years, and
comes from a letter from Newton to the physicist, chemist and inventor Robert
Hooke about his work on light. And it is far from modest. Hooke claimed that
Newton had stolen his ideas. Newton replied that if he had seen further than
Hooke it was by standing on the shoulders of 鈥淕iants鈥�.
This was a snide reference to the fact that Hooke was a very small man.
Newton was mocking Hooke鈥檚 physical deficiencies and implying that he was also
an intellectual pigmy, while linking himself grandiosely to the giants of the
past like Aristotle.
PELI PRODUCTS鈥� MityLite battery-operated torch is, according to the
manufacturer, submersible to 150 metres, 鈥渘onincendive鈥�, unbreakable and
corrosion-proof. What鈥檚 more, it comes with an 鈥渦nconditional鈥� lifetime
guarantee.
Sensibly enough, however, this states: 鈥淭he above guarantee does not cover
shark bite, bear attack or children under 5.鈥�
RETIRED civil engineer Ray Bradley tells us he was heartened to discover that
even in the face of problems with hi-tech machines such as video recorders,
low-tech solutions can often be improvised.
The fault in question manifested itself halfway through a video of The
Jungle Book that his grandson Matthew was watching. The picture became
seriously distorted and Bradley suspected that an expensive, proprietary head
cleaner would be the only answer. But having shelled out for such a device and
found the picture just as bad afterwards, he contacted the local repair
shop.
He expected the engineer to fish out an array of clever tools. Instead, after
a quick inspection of the machine, the young man tore off a piece of his
cigarette packet, opened the video and scraped the fragment of cardboard across
the delicate playback head. Biting his tongue for fear of inciting further
vandalism, Bradley watched as the repairman slotted in The Jungle Book,
pressed play and then sat back as the awful distorted images reappeared. He then
rewound the tape a few seconds and pressed play again. This time the video
played perfectly.
For the health conscious, Feedback suggests that the edge of a business card
would work just as well as a cigarette packet.
A WORD of thanks to all of you who wrote in with lists of the most bizarre
stories you have read in New 杏吧原创. It will take us a while to sift
through them, but we will announce the prizewinners in due course.
FINALLY, Tony Corless writes to tell us about his surprise on listening to
ITN鈥檚 News at Ten report on the cloning of Dolly the sheep. After a
studio preamble, the location report on the project opened with the words:
鈥淒olly is unique.鈥�
Surely, Corless points out, this must rank high in the all-time list of
media-waffle which totally misses the point.