Somerville, Massachusetts
WHEN a congress of the world鈥檚 top physicists sat for a formal portrait in
Brussels in 1927, they proved that scientific geniuses can not only think good
but look good. The photo is a veritable catalogue of careful grooming as
practised by eminent professionals of the day. Some attendees have gone in for
the proper and austere鈥攖he Kaiser Wilhelm crew cut of Paul Ehrenfest, the
businesslike side-parting of Irving Langmuir, the geometric fringe of Max
Planck. All have gone in for something. Or all but one. What was the deal with
Einstein鈥檚 hair?
People often imagine the scraggly fright wig to be a side effect of genius,
the way the buzzcut is a side effect of military conscription, or the bad perm a
side effect of lounge singing. But the Brussels photo shows among Einstein鈥檚
peers a prevailing standard of spiffiness. He is clearly the exception.
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The external processes of Einstein鈥檚 head, like the internal ones, are among
the mysteries of modern physics. The most obvious, but least satisfying,
explanation for his anomalous grooming is that he was simply a slob. It would be
easy to chalk up the wild hair to the famously casual attitude Einstein
displayed toward other niceties of appearance. Asked why he never wore socks, he
replied: 鈥淲hen I was young I found that the big toe always ends up making a hole
in the sock. So I stopped wearing socks.鈥� One could conceive Einstein shunning
haircuts for equally pragmatic reasons (鈥淚t keeps growing back鈥�).
But this view does not square with the evidence: Einstein鈥檚 hair, at least in
photos from his maturity, always seems to stay about the same length. While you
don鈥檛 see it fashionably short, he, or somebody, must have been cutting it, and
fairly regularly. But with what? Their teeth? A billhook?
Another tempting explanation is that Einstein was so out of touch with
fashion that he didn鈥檛 see anything unusual about a hairstyle that could serve
as a nesting ground for migratory birds. But this illusion could not have lasted
for very long, thanks to the candid feedback he received from his adopted
American public.
For example, in 1945, a resident of Cleveland wrote to Einstein complaining
that he was a 鈥淏ig Wig, with more hair than brains鈥�. And from Philadelphia, Ann
G. Kocin wrote: 鈥淚 am a little girl of six. I saw your picture in the paper. I
think you ought to have your haircut, so you can look better.鈥�
The truth is that Einstein did get haircuts as a young man, but tended to let
them go to seed, according to experts on the grooming habits of theoretical
physicists. Sharon, of Technicuts, a hair salon on the campus of the
Massachusetts Institute of Technology, notes that a photo of Einstein at 17
shows 鈥渁 great head of hair that is a little overgrown鈥�. Studying a wedding
portrait taken a few years later, Sharon concludes that 鈥渉e hasn鈥檛 had his
haircut recently. It looks like he just combed it and let it air-dry.鈥�
Stephen, Sharon鈥檚 associate, places the acme of Einstein鈥檚 tonsorial
achievement in 1912, the year the physicist embarked on a romantic relationship
with a cousin, Elsa, whom he married in 1919. 鈥淧retty freshly cut,鈥� Stephen says
of a sculpted, lightly oiled coiffure. 鈥淎 straight razor did a nice job on the
sideburns. The moustaches look pretty good, too. I鈥檇 say he鈥檚 got a good
haircut.鈥� Ah, amour.
By 1921, his greatest haircut behind him, Einstein begins to look like a
homeless person again. And by 1947, the year of the famous brooding portrait
that is often paired with an image of a mushroom cloud, Einstein鈥檚 hair has come
to symbolise humanity鈥檚 inability to control the destructive forces of nature.
鈥淪ee where it鈥檚 all broken?鈥� says Stephen. 鈥淎s men age, there鈥檚 less blood
circulation in the tops of their heads. Their hair just grows to a certain
length and starts breaking off.鈥�
And if Einstein were to walk into Technicuts today? 鈥淚鈥檇 leave conditioner on
for a while,鈥� says Sharon. Stephen would go further. 鈥淚鈥檇 apply a glaze,鈥� he
says, 鈥渟omething to reduce the frizziness and get those flyaways under control.鈥�
And then? 鈥淪hape it,鈥� says Sharon. 鈥淟ayer it,鈥� says Stephen. 鈥淜eep it long.鈥�
鈥淵eah, keep it long,鈥� Sharon concurs.
Then she adds what Einstein must have know about himself: 鈥淗e doesn鈥檛 strike
me as a short-hair person.鈥�