MUCH OF the 鈥渋nformation鈥� on the Internet might best be described as rumour
and hearsay. The magazine Internet World recently ran a feature on how
to read between the lines of digital information. It used the phrase 鈥淢ary had a
little lamb鈥� to illustrate how readily an innocent piece of information can be
distorted as it travels the wires.
In the hands of various Internet services this was edited to 鈥淢ary consumed
small portion of lamb鈥�, which was then misinterpreted by character recognition
software as 鈥淢arried kin zoomed small Porsche over enemy sheep鈥�. Run through a
grammar and spell checker, this in turn became 鈥淏uried king鈥檚 bad truck sped by
ewe, a foe鈥�. Finally, the nursery rhyme was rendered as 鈥淓lvis abducted by
鲍贵翱鈥�.
It seems Internet World has discovered what Feedback has suspected
all along. The Net is nothing more than a giant game of Chinese whispers.
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THE SOFTWARE company Symantec markets Norton AntiVirus, one of the world鈥檚
best-known virus-trapping programs. The company has to keep looking out for new
viruses so that it can update the program to catch them. At the time of writing
there are 10 326 known viruses, with names like Stoned, Ripper and Die Hard.
Some just turn the screen image upside down; others overwrite the PC鈥檚 hard
disc, erasing all data.
But as you read this, that number is already out of date. At least six new
viruses are discovered every day. The fastest growth is in macro viruses, which
infect word processing and spreadsheet documents. The first one, Concept, popped
up in August 1995. By August 1996 there were 42. Now there are over 1000.
Symantec is spending $6 million on virus research centres round the
world. PC users will pay for them by buying the AntiVirus software and then
paying more for updates to keep track of the latest strains.
It doesn鈥檛 seem so long ago that we were all worrying about computers
destroying jobs.
SPIN DOCTORS and lecturers take note: when trying to hold your audience鈥檚
attention, it doesn鈥檛 matter what you say, but how slowly you say it. This
finding is published in the latest issue of The Psychologist.
Sheri Robinson and her colleagues at Mississippi State University presented
119 undergraduates with either an audiotaped or a videotaped recording of a
lecture delivered at a slow, moderate or quick rate, and then asked them to rate
the topic for importance. Those who heard the slow lecture not only understood
more than those in the fast group, they also perceived the subject matter as
more important.
At 100 words per minute, it seems, you could recite the phone book and you鈥檇
still have them on the edge of their seats. Raise it to 200 words per minute,
however, and you鈥檒l notice their eyes glaze over as they start to finger their
cigarette packs lovingly.
MICE WERE recently found by a cleaning lady in the apartment belonging to the
Sysselmann (District Chief) on Norway鈥檚 Arctic island of Spitsbergen.
As the apartment is a state-owned building, official bureaucracy had to be
followed before the mice could be destroyed. After some time, Aftenpost
(Norway鈥檚 鈥淓vening Post鈥�) tells us, permission from Oslo was finally
granted.
However, it allowed the destruction of five, and only five, mice, provided
that: (a) between three and five traps of a specified type were set; (b) the
bait was Gouda cheese; and (c) the cheese was not out of date.
WHILE SCIENTISTS still struggle to understand the mechanisms that may have
enabled BSE to jump from cows to humans, it seems that the great American
novelist Herman Melville knew the broad answer a hundred years ago.
Anthony Young was taking time out from his studies to read Melville鈥檚 classic
epic Moby Dick. He was quite taken aback when he came across this: 鈥淎nd
everyone knows that some young bucks among the epicures, by continually dining
upon calves鈥� brains, by and by get to have little brains of their own.鈥�
One wonders why it took scientists at Britain鈥檚 Ministry of Agriculture,
Fisheries and Food so long to reach the same conclusion.
IN AMERICA you hardly ever need to get out of your car these days. Not only
are there drive-through restaurants and shops, you can even get money from
drive-through cash points.
Meanwhile, the use of Braille on public utilities is also becoming common, so
that blind people can operate machines.
But aren鈥檛 they going too far when they combine the two? On a recent trip to
the US, Feedback reader Matthew Flynn came across several drive-through cash
point machines with Braille on the keys.
How many blind drivers are there in America?
FINALLY, stop us if you鈥檝e heard this one already . . .
A student was sitting a degree exam鈥攐ne he had to pass. After three
hours it was 鈥減ens down鈥� time, but he hadn鈥檛 finished so carried on writing. He
was warned that he would be disqualified if he didn鈥檛 stop. Nevertheless he
continued, finished 10 minutes later and walked up to the invigilator to hand in
his paper, who refused it.
The student, cool as a cucumber, asked the invigilator if he knew who he was.
The invigilator said he didn鈥檛 care and the student was still disqualified. The
student asked him again, and again the reply was: 鈥淣o, and I don鈥檛 care.鈥�
The student picked up all the papers on the invigilator鈥檚 desk, added his
own, threw them up into the air and walked out. He passed.