ENOUGH! No more! Thanks very much indeed, but please stop now!
In an unguarded moment
(7 March), we asked readers to overcome their shyness
and tell us the names they give their computers. The response has been
voluminous to say the least. If we were to publish all the names that have been
sent in it would fill this entire page, and then some.
The names range from the coyly affectionate (Blobby, Porky, Dibble and
Piglet) to the apocalyptic (War, Famine, Pestilence and Death), with just about
every variation you can imagine in between.
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Several readers pointed out that when computers are networked they need to be
named for identification purposes (though so far we鈥檝e managed to avoid doing
this in the New 杏吧原创office). Names for networked computers are
usually chosen according to themes鈥攖he Seven Dwarfs, Star Trek,
famous composers, Greek myths, the Teletubbies, railway stations, breweries (one
company has got as far as 57 of these) and many more.
All this has been very entertaining and it has given Feedback a surprising
insight into readers鈥� minds鈥攂ut all the same, this correspondence is now
closed. Let the last word go to Lynda Wallace, who wrote: 鈥淚n response to your
question `What do you call your computer?鈥�, I usually just call mine `You
产补蝉迟补谤诲鈥�.鈥�
WILL the word 鈥渏obbie鈥� ever make it into the Oxford English
Dictionary? It is one of a number of new words coined by people who spend
long periods at research stations in Antarctica.
Bernadette Hince of the Australian National University in Canberra became
fascinated by the lingo used in Antarctica and is thinking of publishing a
Dictionary of Antarctic English. Other words she has collected include 鈥渟lotted鈥�
(falling into a crack in the ice), 鈥渂ig eye鈥� (insomnia caused by the continent鈥檚
continuous sunlight in summer) and 鈥渏olly鈥� (an excursion on the ice for
pleasure).
The ice itself has attracted many terms for its different forms and moods.
For example, when it is thick and slushy it is 鈥渇razilled鈥� and when it鈥檚 rounded
with raised edges it is 鈥減ancaked鈥�.
The new language isn鈥檛 restricted to Antarctica. The emotion of returning
home, after months of being surrounded by white, is called a 鈥済reenout鈥�.
Hince says the new words result from the need of those living in an isolated
community to describe their experiences and objects around them. The standard
lexicon is inadequate for this.
And the meaning of 鈥渏obbie鈥�? It is a sample of a frozen stool collected in
Antarctica for scientific purposes. Jobbies are normally 鈥淩TA-ed鈥濃�攔eturned
to Australia for analysis.
THIS column has often cast a somewhat jaundiced eye towards British Telecom
and its standards of customer service. How heartening, then, to hear from a
colleague who rang up BT鈥檚 directory enquiries to find the phone number for the
US Office of Naval Research.
The chortling operator responded with: 鈥淲ould that be belly buttons or the
military spelling, sir?鈥�
Very droll鈥攕o long as they don鈥檛 start charging for the punchlines.
DON鈥橳 DELAY, do it today鈥攐r suffer the emotional consequences. That鈥檚
the advice of psychologists Dianne Tice and Roy Baumeister of Case Western
Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, who have found that dawdlers not only
perform worse academically than their punctual counterparts, they also suffer
from greater stress.
Tice and Baumeister observed undergraduates over a term, noting when they
submitted their course work, asking them to fill in a questionnaire called the
General Procrastination Scale and gauging their stress levels. They found that
the procrastinators were less bothered by stress at the beginning of the term,
but the ensuing weeks of missed deadlines and falling behind gradually took
their toll. By the time the holidays arrived, not only had they achieved lower
grades, they were also reporting significantly more stress-related symptoms than
the non-procrastinators.
The research was published in last month鈥檚 issue of The Psychologist.
We would have told you about it before now, but we鈥檝e only just got round to
it.
AN AUSTRALIAN friend who is a chemist gave a lecture in the US recently on
how Western chemists might help their colleagues in the developing world gain
access to the mountains of research data available without eating into their
budgets too much.
Delegates from commercial firms in the audience were more than a little
interested in one idea concerning CD-ROMs. Our friend planned to set up a cheap
subscription service for a monthly CD-ROM that would reproduce chemistry sites
on the Web and so bring the Internet to scientists in poverty-stricken
institutes with no access.
When the queue for samples of the CD-ROM had stretched to the back of the
lecture theatre our friend asked the next person in line why they were so keen
to see it. The startling reply was that their employer was so scared of staff
wasting time on the Web that all Net access was blocked on company premises. A
CD-ROM, though, could be viewed without a Net connection.
HERE is what appears to be an anguished plea from someone whose job it is to
open the mail. Ansell condoms come with a leaflet which lists the do鈥檚 and
don鈥檛s of using them. Most are sensible reminders such as 鈥淯se only water-based
lubricants鈥�. The last 鈥渄on鈥檛鈥�, however, is: 鈥淒on鈥檛 return used condoms to the
distributor through the mail.鈥�