WE ALWAYS believed that we had pioneered the in-depth study of nominative
determinism, the tendency of people to gravitate towards areas of work that fit
their names. But now Jim Emmett has sent us a paper, 鈥淧ut the Blame on Name鈥� by
Lawrence Casler, which was published in Psychological Reports (vol 63,
p 476) back in 1975.
鈥淭here is a determinant,鈥� states Casler, 鈥渨hose effect may not be phenomenal
but is probably more than nominal, namely the name.鈥� He goes on to list over a
hundred examples of the genre, including such gems as 鈥淓ffects of tactile
stimulation鈥� by a person called Finger, 鈥淪equelae of orgasm in male guinea pigs鈥�
by a Mr or Mrs Grunt, 鈥淎nimal behaviour鈥� by Lionel Tiger and Robin Fox,
鈥淩esponses to authoritarian discipline鈥� by Stern and Cope, 鈥淚ntra-uterine
contraceptive devices鈥� by Gamble, 鈥淛uvenile delinquency鈥� by Lively and Reckless,
and 鈥淓ffects of parental pressure on school performance鈥� by someone called
Mumpower.
Meanwhile, despite our many attempts to call a halt to our own coverage of
the phenomenon, readers continue to draw our attention to it. Here is another
selection from the many examples that arrive in our in-tray each week.
Advertisement
First, the good news. How pleasant to know that Grant Warmbath is the manager
of a family hotel in Inverness-shire, and that marriage to Steve Cook enabled
Jane Best, a Tokyo restaurant owner, to become Jane Best Cook. We are pleased to
hear, too, that a senior nurse at St Paul鈥檚 Eye Unit, Liverpool, is named W.
Iball, that there is a dog show judge in New South Wales called B. Woof and that
there is a printing and stationery firm in Northern Ireland called Reid and
Wright.
Less encouraging is the news that there is an estate agent in Kidderminster
called Doolittle and Dalley, an officer in the Metropolitan Police鈥檚 indecent
publications squad called Richard Vice, and an American expert in metallurgical
forensic science and failure analysis called David Krashes. We were also
surprised by the sign we spotted on a lorry in London advertising the services
of 鈥淭erry Bull, Builder鈥�.
Returning to familiar territory, medicine and psychiatry again feature
strongly in our list. William Tranquilli is the author of a recent paper on
sedation and anaesthesia, while J. Lust is a sex counsellor in Auckland, New
Zealand, and J. Angst is a leading Swiss specialist in depressive and suicidal
thoughts. Then there is P. J. Coffer, a clinician in pulmonary diseases in the
Netherlands, the anatomy lecturer Dr Blood of Queensland University, and Laura
Slaughter, who specialises in impulsive aggression at the University of Texas.
And we mustn鈥檛 forget Mr Fawcett, a London urologist.
And will confidence in Britain鈥檚 NHS will be restored by a recent internal
paper, 鈥淭he need for surgeons in rural areas鈥�, whose authors include Messrs
Black and Decker?
Education, too, continues to provide examples. Hampton School in
Hertfordshire boasts a Mr Sentance in its English department and a Miss Beat in
its music department, while Harlaw Academy in Aberdeen, employs as music
teachers Mr Meldrum and Miss Sharp.
A hitherto neglected field is the weather. Leading the pack is Britain鈥檚
Meteorological Office, among whose employees are a Flood, a Frost, a
Thundercliffe and a Weatherall. Then there is the US National Weather Service in
Seattle, which employs a Dave Storm, and the Australian Bureau of Meteorology,
which sends out forecasts signed by A. Rainbow. The Bonus Wind Turbine Unit in
Newtown, Wales, employs Philip Breeze, while the Firenet Information Service,
which looks at the meteorological effects of wildfires, has a webmaster named
Jeff Ash, and the University of Colorado at Boulder runs lectures on climate
change by Elizabeth Weatherhead.
Casting the net wider, the credits of a recent episode of Last of the
Summer Wine featured a stunt arranger by the name of Stuart Fell. Dominique
Dropsy was a goalkeeper for Bordeaux and France, Rachalle Splatt is a well-known
drag-racing driver, and a recent visit of British racehorse breeders to Japan
was arranged by Chris Trott and Tony Cantor.
Then there is the secretary of the New South Wales Chess Association, Adrian
Chek. Carolyn and Tom Screech look after owls at their bird sanctuary in
Cornwall. The executive director of Sydney鈥檚 Residential Window Association is
Ian Frame. Angela Ovary is the author of a horticultural book entitled, believe
it or not, Sex in Your Garden. Katherine Shelfer writes books for
librarians. A London software company has a computer security consultant called
Trevor Drawbridge. Professor Solt is an expert on desalinisation of water in
East Anglia. The late Lord Hives was one of Britain鈥檚 leading beekeepers. And
who else should be the head of the Sydney Casino than Neil Gamble?
ALL OF WHICH only leaves room for some more daft product instructions.
First, a small electric clock sent to Jenny Narraway by a Japanese friend
comes with the instructions: 鈥淭o replace a battery, take out the old one and
insert a new one.鈥�
EQUALLY helpful is the manual for an electric kettle manufactured by
Moulinex, which solemnly tells us: 鈥淲arning: This appliance heats up when in
耻蝉别.鈥�
FINALLY, Tesco has again demonstrated its high regard for its customers鈥�
intelligence. The supermarket鈥檚 garlic puree comes with a recipe for garlic
bread, using the puree, some butter and parsley and a baguette, or French stick.
It begins: 鈥淏lend all ingredients except French stick.鈥�