AH, THE JOYS of unspoilt nature! The beauty! The silence! The solitude!
These, at least, are Feedback鈥檚 sentiments. But sadly it seems that not
everyone agrees.
According to a report on the Internet, these are some of the 鈥渁ctual
comments鈥� left on comment cards provided at the access points to wilderness
areas by the US Forest Service:
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鈥淎 small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I
can get reimbursed? Please call.鈥�
鈥淓scalators would help on steep uphill sections.鈥�
鈥淚nstead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to
reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to
飞颈濒诲别谤苍别蝉蝉别蝉.鈥�
鈥淭rails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.鈥�
鈥淭oo many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the
wilderness to rid the area of these pests.鈥�
鈥淭here are too many rocks in the mountains.鈥�
鈥淭he coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please
eradicate these annoying animals.鈥�
鈥淎 McDonald鈥檚 would be nice at the trailhead.鈥�
WHAT DO the US Navy and Feedback have in common? We both have problems
operating Microsoft software.
Hard on the heels of Feedback鈥檚 problems with Microsoft鈥檚 Internet Explorer 4
(reported on 11 July) comes the news that the US Navy has been trying to ease
crew workloads by using computers to automate tasks, in a program known as
鈥淪mart Ship鈥�.
But the program is not without teething problems. According to a recent
government report, the USS Yorktown was paralysed for 45 minutes when
her 鈥渟mart鈥� computer network crashed. The cause was apparently a zero,
mistakenly fed into a computer application.
The Smart Ship program, which uses Microsoft Windows NT as its operating
system, was recently nominated for the Computer World/Smithsonian
Awards by Bill Gates.
THE NEW British 拢2 coin features nineteen interlocking cogwheels in the
design on its reverse. According to the Royal Mint, this logo symbolises 鈥渢he
development of technology from the Iron Age to the Internet鈥�.
Feedback sincerely hopes that this is not the case. As reader John Davies
points out, any ring with an odd number of interlocking wheels will immediately
seize when one of them begins to turn.
Coming on top of the news that the middle of the 拢2 coin is prone to
falling out, we begin to think the Royal Mint should have stuck with the Iron
Age.
READERS jetting off for their holidays should avoid the website
http://www.avnet.co.uk/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pprune/Ultimate.cgi. It鈥檚 a forum
for airline pilots to swap merry anecdotes, technical information and reports of
near disasters.
One recent tale involved an aircraft that experienced intermittent brake
seizures. The cause? After a long search, a pocket calculator was found jamming
the pedals under the floor on the captain鈥檚 side of the cockpit. Any flight crew
members who have lost a calculator recently are advised to keep quiet.
THANKS TO Mike Unwalla for providing reassurance that if the Binatone System
30 answering machine is anything to go by, there is little likelihood that the
human race will ever be overtaken by thinking machines.
He tells us that if someone phones when the machine is off, it wakes up,
tells the caller that it鈥檚 off, then switches off again. Daaaah.
A SOLUTION to the global energy crisis may be at hand. Michael Platten
recently received the Good Ideas catalogue published by the British
company Cotswold. On page 23 the firm announces details of ceramic laundry
discs, a 鈥渘o-chemical鈥� alternative to detergents.
According to the catalogue, the ceramics in the discs are able to 鈥減enetrate
fabric and lift away dirt and ground-in stains鈥�, thus providing 鈥渋mproved
cleaning power and lower washing costs鈥�.
How do they do it? Apparently, these ceramic discs have the amazing ability
to 鈥渂reak up water molecules鈥�.
Such a cheap and renewable source of hydrogen should provide all the fuel we
need for the next millennium.
FED UP, perhaps, with the legal necessity of listing the ingredients in their
products, some companies have taken a new tack by listing the ingredients that
aren鈥檛 in their products.
Minerva All Natural Olive Oil, for example, tells us that it is: 鈥淣ot a
significant source of dietary fibre, sugars, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium and
颈谤辞苍.鈥�
Perhaps companies should consider going one step further by telling us: 鈥淭his
label is not a significant source of information鈥�.
MIKE WILLIAMS once bought a battery box for the new family caravan. The box
was made in Norway and came from the suppliers with a single A4-sized sheet of
instructions for (presumably) its installation and use within the caravan.
Unfortunately, the text was written entirely in Norwegian, without any
diagrams to give a clue as to its meaning. Entirely, that is, except for the
three words at the very bottom: 鈥淧rinted in Norway鈥�.
FINALLY, seen in Sainsbury鈥檚: 鈥淰olvic is a soft mineral water which is low in
尘颈苍别谤补濒蝉.鈥�