贬贰搁贰鈥橲 a tip for anyone hoping to become the president of the United States.
Pay $70 to reserve a website under your name, and do it as soon as you
possibly can.
Independent candidate Steve Forbes neglected to take this precautionary step
back in 1997, when he was already thinking of a third crack at office in the
2000 election. When he finally got round to it, he discovered that two students
had beaten him to it, and www.forbes2000.com was already booked.
The Forbes campaign has now bought back the address of the site for an
undisclosed sum. According to the online news agency Nando Media, one of the two
students, Greg Trangmoe, said: 鈥淚t was a good investment鈥攄efinitely a good
颈苍惫别蝉迟尘别苍迟.鈥�
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Forbes isn鈥檛 the only one to be burnt like this. Vice-President Al Gore, who
recently startled listeners by claiming that he 鈥渢ook the initiative in creating
the Internet鈥�, failed to register www.gore2000. com. A company called
Market Vision of Kansas City got there first and uses the site to sell political
souvenirs.
OCELOTS share an unexpected similarity with Kate Moss and certain other human
beings. They love Calvin Klein鈥檚 Obsession perfume.
Researchers at Dallas Zoo were trying to find scents that would attract or
repel the elusive felines, so they could guide the animals away from motorways
and other dangerous areas. But a long list of scents found in the wild failed to
evoke a response in the captive ocelots on which they were tested.
Then one of the researchers produced a bottle of Obsession. The ocelots
immediately started rolling around in the scent and rubbing themselves with
it.
鈥淭hey tried to adorn themselves with it,鈥� says zoo curator Cynthia Bennett.
But her explanation for the attraction might not please Klein or Moss.
鈥淚鈥檓 guessing it鈥檚 the musky element,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 close to the
components of their own urine and faeces.鈥�
THERE is an interesting exhibition on ergonomics called 鈥淭he Human Factor鈥� at
London鈥檚 Science Museum. It includes several examples of how not to do things,
including labels and instructions as well as product designs.
When Feedback went to the museum and asked where the exhibition was, we were
referred to the 鈥渄aily events鈥� and 鈥渢emporary exhibitions鈥� boards. It wasn鈥檛
mentioned there, so we returned to the information desk, where a young man
denied the exhibition existed. He was only persuaded when we waved the museum鈥檚
publicity for the event in front of him. He then spent several minutes riffling
through ring binders before he found a reference to it.
We were reminded of Arthur Dent鈥檚 problem in The Hitch Hiker鈥檚 Guide to
the Galaxy, in which the local council gave notice of its intention to
demolish his house by putting the plans on display in a locked filing cabinet in
a disused lavatory, behind a door bearing a sign 鈥淏eware of the Leopard鈥�.
Long live ergonomics.
15 APRIL is a day that fills many Americans with dread. It鈥檚 the deadline for
sending in their tax returns.
Everyone in the US has to return the Internal Revenue Service鈥檚 form 1040.
And in recent years, the process has been made easier. You can now file your tax
return by post or by e-mail.
For those who are confused by the change, the IRS has some helpful advice.
The back of the envelope it sends out for people to return their forms in reads:
鈥淚f you are filing electronically, do not use this envelope.鈥�
HATS OFF to VTEC Industry Europe. The first page of the installation guide
for the company鈥檚 LS-120 鈥渇loptical鈥� disc drive courageously declares: 鈥淓rrors
& Omissions Expected鈥�.
HERE IS one of those research projects that makes you wonder if universities
have taken leave of their senses.
According to a press release: 鈥淎 survey of consumers by an Ohio University
researcher suggests that Americans prefer beef over the unfamiliar taste of
别尘耻.鈥�
Why, we wondered, would any academic ask people their views on such an issue?
A couple of lines at the bottom of the press release made everything clear. The
research, we are told, was 鈥渟upported by a grant from the WorldWide Meat
Company, a San Antonio-based company that sells emu and ostrich鈥�.
IS THERE an intimate connection between vegetables and mathematics? Feedback
had never supposed so, but begins to wonder. A reader tells us that the names
given to their computers by the scholars at the Mathematical Institute at the
University of Oxford are: cabbage-fear, potato-shock, tomato-drive,
broccoli-war, onion-enigma, pea-virtue, mushroom-love, pepper-glee,
pumpkin-anger, jicama-boast, fennel-faith and courgette-rage.
PEOPLE who buy 鈥渉eat-and-eat鈥� meals may be too busy, too tired or too lazy to
prepare a meal for themselves. But this doesn鈥檛 mean that they are mentally
retarded.
So why does the plastic film that covers so many of these meals鈥攏o
matter where you buy them鈥攖ell you to 鈥淧eel back before serving鈥�?
How could anyone serve what鈥檚 underneath the plastic while it is still
there?
FINALLY, a product warning that one hopes is the result of a manufacturer鈥檚
shaky grasp of the English language.
A friend of Feedback who is on holiday in Hawaii reports finding this warning
on the plastic cover of a children鈥檚 surfboard lying on the beach: 鈥淒anger!
Public must note, to kill babies, insert them head into bag. Carefully! Thank
测辞耻!鈥�