VISITORS to London Zoo will be impressed to see notices posted near the
exhibits thanking people and organisations who have helped to pay for an animal
or its enclosure. And who would complain if private companies get a little boost
to their reputations in return for their largesse?
So let us record our admiration for the generosity of the world鈥檚 richest and
most powerful computer software company, which has dipped into its billions to
join those supporting the work of the zoo. A round plaque by the door to the
nocturnal mammal house thanks Microsoft on behalf of the Zoological Society of
London for 鈥渟ponsoring a harvest mouse鈥�.
BRITAIN starts changing its telephone dialling codes again on 1 June. The
message needs to be spread around the world, so BT and the other British phone
companies are spending 拢20 million on a 鈥淏ig Number鈥� publicity
campaign.
Advertisement
Explanatory booklets have been available since last year. If you want one,
all you have to do is phone a number and ask for one. But what is Big Number鈥檚
number?
Feedback called BT鈥檚 directory enquiries line and asked.
鈥淲e are sorry, Big Number is not listed,鈥� came the answer.
A FAMILY PLANNING organisation in South Africa recently hit on a simple and
practical way to promote safe sex. During 鈥渃ondom week鈥�, the Society for Family
Health鈥攚hich is funded by donor money from Britain and the US鈥攕ent
out thousands of free condoms with a leaflet explaining the danger of HIV
infection.
There was just one snag with the scheme. The condoms were stapled to the
leaflets鈥攁nd the staples went straight through the packaging and then
through the condoms themselves.
The mistake was only discovered after the perforated condoms had been
distributed. The society鈥檚 marketing director Dave Nowitz commented: 鈥淢y
organisation is extremely embarrassed about this.鈥�
EVEN particle physics laboratories sometimes succumb to the temptation to
disseminate illogical information. The CERN Weekly Bulletin recently
announced that essential work on telephone cabling was likely to affect several
buildings on the laboratory鈥檚 main site near Geneva.
鈥淭elephone interruptions,鈥� read the announcement, 鈥渨ill be unavoidable during
this period.鈥� The announcement went on to advise anyone seriously inconvenienced
to call a special number.
WHAT kind of saucepans does BBC director general John Birt use? We only ask
because the BBC has set up a showcase widescreen TV in the entrance lobby at
Broadcasting House. Birt and his top management colleagues must pass it
regularly.
The problem with receiving old-fashioned analogue transmissions on a
widescreen set has been that the image distorts to fill the screen, so tall thin
people look short and fat. The BBC promotes its new digital transmissions as
giving widescreen sets the chance to show widescreen pictures without
distortion.
This is not what happened at Broadcasting House. Until Feedback took the
initiative after a month and tipped off an engineer, the showcase TV was wrongly
set up, stretching the image. So a TV chef and his guest were too short and fat
and they cooked from egg-shaped saucepans.
But perhaps Birt鈥檚 saucepans are shaped like that anyway, so he didn鈥檛 notice
anything wrong when he passed the TV on the way to his office.
TALKING of the BBC, it has taken several months for the corporation鈥檚
in-house newspaper Ariel finally to admit that the new Electronic News
Production System, which forces the BBC鈥檚 newsrooms to use computers, is riddled
with bugs. Those who designed ENPS have now listened 鈥渓ong and hard鈥� to the
people who actually have to use it, and will now try to revamp the software.
Feedback recently fell foul of another piece of the BBC鈥檚 digital wizardry.
The corporation鈥檚 publicity department has produced a 鈥渄igital CD-ROM鈥� (what
other kind is there?) which gives coverage maps and transmitter details for
digital terrestrial TV. Free copies are being given away. Very
generous鈥攂ut the sleeve note has no instructions on how to use it.
We tried every method of running a CD we could think of, but all failed. A
BBC spokesman we rang 鈥渢hought鈥� the PC would need to have graphic software such
as Adobe PhotoShop. But further checks showed that the disc had no 鈥淚SO primary
volume descriptor鈥�. This means that a PC cannot find whatever is on the
disc鈥攕o it鈥檚 useless. And searching the disc finally crashed Feedback鈥檚
PC.
Perhaps the BBC鈥檚 digital boffins should try using one of their CDs
themselves鈥攁nd tell Ariel what they find.
MEANWHILE, much as we enjoy the BBC News website
(http://news.bbc.co.uk),
we can鈥檛 help wondering what it meant when it said last
week that: 鈥淭he Arctic climate warms by 8 per cent every decade.鈥�
Eight per cent of what? How long has this been going on? Is it time to book
our summer holidays there yet?
FINALLY, next time you鈥檙e down at Tesco鈥檚 supermarket, don鈥檛 forget to buy a
couple of hundred grams of electronic goods along with your potatoes and
cornflakes. An electronic address book on display at Richard Clegg鈥檚 local store
in York was priced at: 鈥溌�12.99 (拢25.99 per 100 grams).鈥� They sell
them, it seems, by weight.