BY WAY of preparing the world for the imminent announcement that it has
decoded the human genome, Celera Genomics in Rockville, Maryland, has been
taking journalists and others on tours of its fabulous new labs. Craig Venter
proudly shows off his millions of dollars worth of computers and his futuristic
control room, where he watches the data flowing in on dozens of monitors like
Captain Kirk on the deck of the Starship Enterprise.
Everyone at Celera seemed terribly friendly, so New 杏吧原创鈥檚
reporter was surprised to learn that she could have courted disaster while she
was there. The Washington Post reports that Celera鈥檚 cafeteria may have
inadvertently poisoned four members of a team visiting with Congressman Jerry
Costello, who serves on the House of Representatives science, energy, and
environment committee. The finger of suspicion points at the tuna sandwiches the
four ate before becoming sick and, in two cases, needing to take time off
work.
One supposes that if Venter dares to return to his old cafeteria at the US
National Institutes of Health, where rival scientists once hoped to beat him to
the genome prize, they might dish him up something equally appetising.
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ONE wonders, sometimes, about the activities British government departments
see fit to sponsor. A recent press release from the Department of Health
announces: 鈥淭eenage pregnancy projects get funding boost.鈥�
What do these projects involve, exactly?
FORMER chief scientific adviser to the British government Bill Stewart
created a big stir with his recent report that mobile phones could be dangerous
for children. The day before the report was presented, we hear, Stewart gave
evidence to the House of Commons science and technology select committee 鈥淎re we
realising our potential?鈥�, with an audience of MPs and press.
While he was fielding a question about the research councils, the hallowed
dignity of the Commons committee room was shattered by a mobile phone going off.
There was an embarrassed silence as everyone looked around and some of the MPs
glared at the journalists, thinking that they must be responsible. The phone
kept ringing until Stewart himself turned round, rummaged in his briefcase
and found the offending article. He fiddled with it briefly and put it back into
his bag, with a light quip to relieve the tension.
The questioning resumed. Thirty seconds later a phone went off again. Another
embarrassed pause. Yet again Stewart rummaged in his case and pulled out his
phone, admitting that he was not quite sure how to turn it off.
One of the items he took out of his briefcase to get at the mobile was an
embargoed copy of his authoritative report on mobiles, due out the next day.
ANOTHER headline to add to our collection of the blindingly obvious. It鈥檚
from Lunar News, a journal about osteoporosis and other bone problems.
A recent edition announces: 鈥淧hysical Activity: Essential to Prevent
滨苍补肠迟颈惫颈迟测.鈥�
OUR account on 6 May of the humorous items that circulate round the Internet
only to keep reappearing in our e-mail inbox prompted several readers to send in
their personal favourites. The one we liked best is a letter supposedly from a
Breton farmer to the European Commissioner for Agriculture.
It begins: 鈥淢y friend Robert, who lives in Brittany, has received a cheque
for 500 000 francs from the government in order not to raise any pigs this year.
As a result, I would like to join the non-rearing of pigs programme next
year.
鈥淲hat I would like to know is, what is the best kind of farm for not raising
pigs and what is the best breed of pig not to raise? . . . Also, if I receive
500 000 francs for not raising 50 pigs, will I receive 1 million francs for not
raising 100 pigs? . . . 鈥�
And so on, for two absurd pages. Feedback, who has a small garden that would
be ideal for not raising pigs, is sorry that this letter can only be a
spoof鈥攖hough there are some who would say that the European Common
Agricultural Policy is not so very different from the one lampooned here.
THE IT support division at the New South Wales department of agriculture
responded to the news about the recent Love Bug virus by sending an emergency
message to all staff.
After describing the virus, which the message warned came as an attachment to
an e-mail with the subject line 鈥淚 love you鈥�, the message said that many staff
would be protected by their antivirus software once a fix had been received from
the software company.
Meanwhile, it concluded, 鈥渟taff should assume that nobody loves them and
delete e-mails with this title as soon as they are received鈥�.
FINALLY, we were intrigued by the filling to be found in a Jammie Wagon
Wheel. According to the list of contents on the package, it is 鈥渞aspberry
flavoured plum jam鈥�.
What is the point, we wonder.