WE RECENTLY reported that Australians are so confused about the country鈥檚 new
goods and services tax (GST) that the Australian Tax Office has had to set up a
helpline to answer their queries
(22 July). For those who are still confused,
reader Alistair Pike points out that they can try reading the actual GST Act,
where all will become clear.
Or will it? Here is a sample from chapter 4, part 4, subdivision 165 of the
Act (http://law.ato.gov.au/atolaw/view.htm?docid=PAC/19990055/
165-55):
鈥淔or the purposes of making a declaration under this Subdivision, the
Commissioner may: (a) treat a particular event that actually happened as not
having happened; and (b) treat a particular event that did not actually happen
as having happened and, if appropriate, treat the event as: (i) having happened
at a particular time; and (ii) having involved particular action by a particular
entity; and (c) treat a particular event that actually happened as: (i) having
happened at a time different from the time it actually happened; or (ii) having
involved particular action by a particular entity (whether or not the event
actually involved any action by that entity).鈥�
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Perhaps, on reflection, the GST helpline need only carry a simple repeated
message: 鈥淣o worries, mate, we鈥檙e making the rules up as we go along.鈥�
DINOSAURS were not wiped out by a meteorite or a planetary catastrophe but by
a serious flatulence problem, according to a Chinese news report. The report,
cited last week by BBC News Online, comes from the China Youth Daily.
In 1991 Associated Press attributed the idea to geochemist Simon Brassell; this
time it鈥檚 an unnamed French scientist.
The problem was apparently the amount of methane expelled by the
dinosaurs鈥攅nough to blast a hole in the ozone layer. This in turn damaged
terrestrial vegetation and caused a food shortage which ended the dinosaurs鈥�
reign.
鈥淭he animals, weighing from 80 to 100 tonnes, would eat on average between
130 and 260 kilos of food every day. They would fart non-stop,鈥� the Chinese
paper tells its surprised readers.
IT鈥橲 UNUSUAL for theoretical physicists to double up as theatre critics, but
perhaps on this occasion it is not surprising. Playwright Robin Hawdon has
written a play entitled God and Stephen Hawking, which opens at the
Theatre Royal in Bath later this month. The aim, apparently, is to help bring
science to a wider public.
Unfortunately, Hawking wasn鈥檛 at all happy about being the subject of this
enterprise, and refused to cooperate with Hawdon or give the play his consent.
Now, in this month鈥檚 Physics World, he delivers his judgement on
Hawdon鈥檚 work. It is, he says, 鈥渟tupid and worthless鈥�.
REPUBLICAN faces are burning in the US after presidential candidate George W.
Bush picked Dick Cheney for his running mate in the forthcoming elections.
If you want to know more about this dream ticket, just go to
http://www.bush-cheney.net鈥攚here you will see Cheney roundly attacked
for his Congressional voting record, along with assertions that the Bush-Cheney
ticket would 鈥渢ake America back to the failed policies of the past鈥�.
Sounds strange? But you鈥檝e probably guessed what happened. Yes, the
Democratic National Committee bagged the Bush-Cheney.net domain name even before
Bush announced he was picking Cheney for his running mate.
MANUFACTURERS seem to be getting more and more confident about the durability
of their products. Bond鈥檚 of Elswick produces tubs of vanilla ice cream with the
expiry date 鈥�15 Oct 200001鈥�, leaving the purchaser with a very comfortable
198001 years to eat it.
贬贰搁贰鈥橲 another of those little niggles that constantly make the brave new
electronic world a pain in the neck.
Like a lot of companies, Virgin Atlantic wants to cut costs by getting
customers to order online. Passengers who have joined Virgin鈥檚 Flying Club are
now being offered 1000 credit points towards future flights, plus the chance of
a free holiday, if they just register on the club鈥檚 Internet site and give their
e-mail address for future correspondence.
Time and time again Virgin鈥檚 site asked for and then stubbornly rejected a
colleague鈥檚 Flying Club membership number, without ever saying why. Finally it
clicked. The statements that Virgin mails to its members divide the unmanageably
long membership number into smaller digit groups, with spaces in between, and
our colleague had diligently used the same layout. But Virgin鈥檚 Internet site
wants a single string of digits and whoever set up the electronic system did not
make it smart enough to deal with the spaces which Virgin uses on paper.
Has Virgin鈥檚 cuddly boss Richard Branson ever tried using his own system?
FINALLY, earlier this year reader Dave Richards bought a three-month supply
of bottles of Optiview All in One Light contact lens fluid made by Sauflon
Pharmaceuticals. It was only two months later, when he took out the last bottle,
that he found a small leaflet at the bottom of the pack saying:
鈥淚mportant鈥攔ead instructions carefully before use.鈥�