AS GEORGE 鈥淒ubya鈥� Bush settles into the White House this weekend he faces
some tricky scientific and technological questions. To help him on his way,
Feedback is happy to pass on some advice sent to us earlier this month,
concerning the National Missile Defense system, also known as 鈥淪on of Star
Wars鈥�. Dubya is well known to be a fan of the NMD. But does he understand quite
how difficult it is to build an anti-missile missile that works?
鈥淟et鈥檚 put the technical problem in terms that Dubya may understand,鈥� begins
our advice, which comes from a body calling itself the Notional Missile Defence
Initiative. 鈥淪pace is very large, George. In fact, it鈥檚 huge. Surely you saw
pool tables in your misspent youth? Replace the balls with the tiniest,
edge-of-visibility specks of whatever white dust you fancy. Scatter a few dozen
of them somewhere near the baize. To win, you have to pot all of them. You have
five minutes. And you have to use computers.鈥�
The advice goes on to announce, perhaps ominously, that the NMDI is 鈥渉ere to
help you, George鈥�. It calls on 鈥渆ngineers, inventors, poets and
scientists鈥攎ad or not鈥攖o contribute notions on how to construct a
Missile Defence鈥�. The London-based group claims to have been inspired by a
previous call for ideas that 鈥渃ontributed modestly to the success of Star Wars
Senior鈥� in the early 1980s.
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Back then, it was the zoologists鈥� suggestion that made the biggest
impression. That hardy band proposed keeping herds of hippos in constant
readiness, all fed on a strict diet of baked beans, and each tethered to a stout
stake. In the event of missile attack, judicious application of axes to the
tethers and Zippos to the hippos should produce a rapidly ascending and almost
impenetrable barrier.
But we鈥檙e sure you can do even better than this. Send your suggestions to
nmd@gn.apc.org.
POPULARISING your science may lead to a terminal loss of serious reputation.
So why not go for broke鈥攁s have the authors of 鈥淏ritney鈥檚 Guide to
Semiconductor Physics鈥�? As you can read at http://britneyspears.ac/lasers.htm,
鈥淚t is a little known fact that Ms Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics.
Not content with just singing, in the following pages, she will guide you in the
fundamentals of the vital laser components that have made it possible to hear
her super music in a digital format.鈥�
The guide isn鈥檛 bad, either. Except that a colleague of Feedback鈥檚 found it
while researching the numbers of women involved in real scientific work on
lasers鈥攁nd sadly, the site tends to confirm the image of the field as
dominated by heterosexual boys. Even so, Feedback looks forward to other
expressions of the rich diversity of scientific sexuality in the 鈥淪igourney
Weaver Guide to Xenobiology鈥� and the 鈥淛udy Garland Marine Engineering
惭补苍耻补濒鈥�.
MEANWHILE, the research interests of real-world scientists have their own
fascination. 鈥淢anipulating aggression among juvenile halibut鈥� is one of the
favourites recently turned up in our unending search for scientific excellence.
There is, of course, a perfectly sensible explanation further down Felicity Anne
Huntingford鈥檚 home page on the Glasgow University website, but we prefer the
initial mental image.
TRUTH, even of the geographical type, is relative in the world of electronic
information. Reader Rachael Padman writes in wonderment at the fact that as she
zooms in and out of an online map of her home, the river outside her front door
leaps to the end of the back garden鈥攕ome 10 metres uphill.
For an even stranger phenomenon, go to www.upyourstreet.co.uk and search for
the Berkshire postcode RG20 8RH. When you click on the map for the area you
should see a lot of empty space with a small road. Now click the button to zoom
out. The empty space is magically filled with rows of buildings, with their own
link road to the M4 motorway. Zoom out a couple more times, and the entire
complex disappears. Something very similar happens at www.streetmap.co.uk.
What is this Bermuda Triangle in the English home counties? Actually, it鈥檚
the US Air Force bomb store at RAF Welford, as Feedback discovered while driving
past it recently. This is clearly an official secret at some map scales, but not
at others.
THIS IS probably not the place to ask 鈥淕ot a PC for Xmas but not sure how to
use it?鈥� But for anyone still in doubt, Internet provider AOL is running an ad
with the encouraging headline: 鈥淲e can help you with our guide to computing for
beginners鈥�. Reader Tony Henk reports, 鈥淵ou鈥檒l never guess where this helpful
guidance is to be found.鈥� Yes鈥攐f course鈥擜OL鈥檚 website. Which you can
get to . . . on your PC.
READER Steve Meager had the radio on and for some reason his ear was caught
by an ad for an indigestion reliever, advertised as 鈥渃hewy not chalky鈥�. Then the
serious, deep voice-over added, 鈥渃ontains calcium carbonate鈥�. Not only
that鈥攊t鈥檚 all-natural, 鈥渃hemical-free鈥� calcium carbonate. Can we have
some?