HOW would you like to have your name on Mars? In 2003 NASA will launch two
Mars Rovers to find out more about the planet鈥檚 climate and water history. And
NASA is offering the opportunity to have your name included on a CD to be
carried by one of the Rovers.
The expedition Web page at http://spacekids.hq.nasa.gov/2003/nameform.cfm
not only allows you to add your name to the CD, but also lets you search the 1.6
million names collected since May 1999. It makes interesting reading.
Unsurprisingly, many common names are repeated, such as John Smith. But other
multiple entries give the impression that the rich and famous might be abusing
the opportunity. Bill Clinton鈥檚 name appears 59 times and Monica Lewinski鈥檚 7
times. Elvis Presley crops up 25 times, Darth Vader 17, James T. Kirk 5 times
and Donald Duck 4. The Queen appears twice while Prince Charles modestly has
just one entry. Lord Lucan also makes a surprise appearance.
Some people have written messages instead of names. If Martians decode the
disc, they will find such greetings as 鈥渨e come in peace鈥濃��5 times鈥�
鈥渉ello Martians鈥� and 鈥渢ake me to your leader鈥�, which both appear twice.
Doubtless they will be impressed by Earthlings鈥� originality.
Advertisement
IF YOU think very hard about this for a long time, it may make sense. Click
on 鈥淐hange to SurfTime鈥� at BT鈥檚 website www.btinternet.com/anytime/change, and
it tells you: 鈥淥rder a Surf Package from BT. If you have not ordered a Surf
Package from BT yet, please do so at the BT SurfTime Web site. You cannot order
a BT Internet for BT Surf Package without first ordering a Surf package from BT.
Once you have ordered a Surf Package from BT, you will be able to register for
BT Internet for BT Surf Packages.鈥� Got that?
PHILIPS is ready to show off its first DVD recorders, which will be unveiled
at the giant CeBit computer show in Germany at the end of this month and go on
sale round the world later this year. At a sneak preview in London, an engineer
secretly filmed the arrival of the press, and then played back the disc to
demonstrate the excellent picture quality.
Cleverly, the recorder automatically adds the date to every recording it
makes. Too bad, though, that the date it added was Saturday 95 January 2000.
鈥�IMPORTANT: information enclosed about the redirection of your mail,鈥� says
the envelope on Feedback鈥檚 desk at home. Thank you, Post Office, very kind and
helpful, we think. The trouble is, the person the envelope is addressed to has
moved house, and the letter bears this injunction: 鈥淭o be delivered as
addressed鈥攄o not redirect.鈥� So there it sits, gently spinning in its own
little logical loop. All suggestions on how to extract it will be gratefully
received.
MIDDLE England鈥檚 favourite newspaper, the Daily Mail, has been
running a 鈥渓avish new part-work鈥� consisting of photographs of animals. One of
these is of a giant panda, accompanied by the following information: 鈥淭he giant
panda鈥檚 crushing molars are larger than any other [sic] carnivore鈥檚, and are
designed to cope with a diet consisting almost entirely of tough bamboo shoots.
Yet although the panda spends 16 hours a day gathering and processing its food,
it has such an inadequate digestive system that all it eats in a day represents
only one hour鈥檚 worth of nutrition.鈥�
So what does it live on the other 23 hours of the day?
THANKS to Tony Caldsersmith, who has drawn our attention to a phenomenon he
calls negative directionalism. He says his previous job took him to many places
around Australia and he began to notice odd road signs, such as 鈥渄ead end鈥� on a
road leading to a cemetery. But the two signs that particularly intrigued him
were set just outside Ayr in Queensland. The first said: 鈥淭his road does not
lead to Townsville鈥�. A little further on, the second announced: 鈥淭his road does
not lead to either Townsville or Cairns,鈥� but nothing about where the road does
lead.
We think this is a splendid precedent, and we look forward to the signs on
Britain鈥檚 motorways being replaced by ones saying: 鈥淭his road does not lead to
San Francisco or Shanghai.鈥�
IN THE grand tradition of 鈥淗IV virus鈥� and 鈥淧IN numbers鈥�, Microsoft鈥檚 Windows
2000 starts up with a splash bearing the message 鈥淏uilt on NT Technology鈥�. NT,
of course, stands for 鈥渘ew technology鈥�.
AT THE end of the terms and conditions of the Star Wars game
鈥淢ysteries of the Sith鈥�, there is a notice that says:
鈥淭his game is a work of fiction. All of the characters and events portrayed
in this game are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or
actual events, is purely coincidental.鈥�
Just as well they said that. Feedback鈥檚 uncle looks just like a wookie.
SOME people think Canadians are slightly out of this world. So does the
Netscape corporation, it seems. In the white pages section of its website at
www.netscape.com you鈥檒l find a 鈥渞everse lookup鈥� facility, which enables you to
obtain lists of phone numbers, addresses and e-mail addresses by entering area
codes or street names. There is also a 鈥渞everse e-mail (worldwide)鈥� function,
which finds people from their e-mail address. 鈥淎lso available for Canada,鈥� it
says.
FINALLY, we regret to say that Kate Charlesworth is leaving the Feedback page
after 10 years. We are sure readers would like to join us in thanking her for
the many laughs she has given us over the years.
From the department of the blindingly obvious: the manual of the Samsung
SP-R6100 Digital Cordless Telephone has this to say in the 鈥渞eceiving a Call鈥�
section: 鈥淲hen somebody calls you, the phone rings.鈥�