IS THERE nothing left in this world that can鈥檛 be patented, copyrighted or
trademarked? The latest move in the stampede to slap intellectual property
rights on everything that exists is the attempt to register trademarks on words
that are already in everyday use.
For example, a California company called Fandom has applied to the US Patent
and Trademark Office for a trademark on the word 鈥渇andom鈥� for its online
entertainment and information service. The application claims that the first use
of the word in business was in 1999. That comes as a big surprise to
science-fiction fans, who鈥檝e been using 鈥渇andom鈥� to describe their community for
decades鈥攁s in the popular phrase 鈥渇andom is a way of life鈥�.
Some of these surprising applications even succeed. If you check the database
of US trademark applications at http://tarr.uspto.gov/ you鈥檒l find that
registration number 2347676 refers to the :-( 鈥渆moticon鈥� for an unhappy
face.
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Who would want to register something like that? It鈥檚 a company called Despair
at www.despair.com, which at first glance looks like just another Internet
start-up. But take a closer look and you鈥檒l notice it satirises targets such as
trademark-happy corporations.
In one 鈥減ress release鈥�, Despair announces: 鈥淭he company has, through the use
of the FBI鈥檚 controversial new `Carnivore鈥� Internet wiretapping system,
surreptitiously monitored unencrypted Internet e-mail and compiled a list of
over 7,000,000 individuals who have used the :-( emoticon.鈥� The release goes on
to claim that Despair has petitioned a court to require these trademark
infringers 鈥渢o submit a handwritten letter which repeats the phrase `:-( is a
registered trademark of Despair鈥� one thousand times鈥�.
奥贬础罢鈥橲 the longest it鈥檚 ever taken an e-mail to reach you? Justin
Neville-Rolfe tells us of a colleague who received an e-mail from her boyfriend
saying, 鈥淚鈥檓 working late and can鈥檛 make dinner.鈥�
She was confused because they hadn鈥檛 planned to eat together that night. Then
she noticed that the e-mail came from his old workplace. It had been sent in
June 2000 and only arrived in January this year, taking more than six months to
travel the 25 kilometres from Watford to central London. Neville-Rolfe
calculates that this is under 2 millimetres per second鈥攁pproximately the
speed of a garden snail.
Surely that鈥檚 a record? Well, not quite. John Chapman of Perth, Australia,
reports that on 26 January he received an e-mail from Taiwan that was sent on 27
August 1998. Now that鈥檚 what we call snail mail. But maybe readers have had
e-mails that took longer still?
ARCHAEOLOGISTS don鈥檛 just dig, they date. Once they鈥檝e dug up something, the
big questions are: 鈥淲hat is it?鈥� and: 鈥淗ow old is it?鈥�
Pinning down the age of ancient objects remains an inexact science, of
course. Even the most advanced tests give only a rough estimate. Yet you can鈥檛
help feeling that events which occurred in researchers鈥� own lifetimes could be
dated much more accurately.
You鈥檇 be wrong. Fifteen stone heads unearthed at Cyrene, Libya, have been
stolen from the University of Pennsylvania鈥檚 expedition storeroom. All the heads
had been assigned rough dates, from late Classical to early second century AD.
But the theft itself? That occurred 鈥渋n late 1999 or early in 2000鈥�, says the
report in Archaeology.
Although the thieves haven鈥檛 been caught, the good news is that two of the
stone heads have been recovered. The rest are still missing, but you can see
what they look like at www.cyrenethefts.org. Maybe one of them has turned up in
your garden?
IT APPEARS that price-comparison website kelkoo.com is on the verge of
pioneering some sort of time travel. Here is what people entering its recent
prize draw were told: 鈥淭hank you for entering the kelkoo.com prize draw for a
chance to win one of 10,000 kelkoo clubbing cards.
鈥淭he prize draw will take place on 28 February 2001 and winners will be
notified by 5 January 2001.鈥�
WE HESITATE to make fun of mistakes made by British Telecom because it makes
so many. But we can鈥檛 resist this one.
BT wanted us all to get excited about a new range of digital cordless phones
that come in different colours. Ho hum.
The announcement arrived by e-mail, topped and tailed with hundreds of other
recipients鈥� private e-mail addresses. Evidently telecoms specialist BT has not
yet learned enough about e-mail to hide the addresses of other recipients by
sending multiple messages as 鈥淏CC鈥� blind copies.
And the e-mail heading?
鈥淓xiting (sic) new releases from BT.鈥�
FINALLY, South African reader Johan Jansen van Rensburg tells us that his can
of Dyroach aerosol insecticide has a warning that states: 鈥淜eep out of reach of
children, uninformed people and animals.鈥�
To be on the safe side, van Rensburg says he always reads the newspaper
before touching the can.