WE REPORTED a few weeks ago on injuries suffered by people in encounters with
inanimate objects like tea cosies, vegetables and armchairs
(Feedback, 9 June).
But what about injuries inflicted by people on inanimate objects?
It seems to be computers that suffer the most. In Britain, computer supplier
Novatech has published the results of a confidential poll of its customers on
the sensitive issue of computer abuse. No less than a quarter of the 4200
respondents admitted resorting to violence when their machines behaved
badly.
The most common form of abuse was a slap on the side of the monitor, but some
people went further. One admitted: 鈥淚 once lost my temper and thumped my monitor
very hard. It didn鈥檛 solve the problem, but I did manage to break my little
finger.鈥� Unsurprisingly, the user received little sympathy from family, friends
and hospital staff.
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Another user hurled a laptop across the room when it refused to come out of
suspended mode. It worked, the user reported: 鈥淲hen I calmed down and picked up
the laptop, it was out of the suspended mode, but my hi-fi, which it hit, has
never worked since.鈥�
Monitors are heavier than laptops, but that didn鈥檛 stop someone from venting
his wrath on one 鈥渁fter a day of glitches and errors and general frustration and
faffing about鈥�. He pulled the wires out of the monitor, stalked outside 鈥渁nd
chucked the bloody thing down the fire-escape stairs. I felt a bit guilty later
on and tidied it all up and gave it a decent burial in a skip.鈥�
Inveterate computer abusers have learned how to avoid the worst consequences
of their actions. One advised: 鈥淎lways remember to put the PC case back
together. That means that when you kick it out of frustration as it refuses to
come to life, your foot won鈥檛 go through the motherboard in the process.鈥�
Novatech does not name any counselling organisations that can help those at
risk of such aggressive outbursts, but user support groups probably already
exist. Feedback would be glad to hear from them.
IS THE great Google search engine slipping? A normal search results in it
coming up with, for example, 29,398,502,373,423 hits in 0.00000685 seconds. But
when reader Jenny Narraway searched for what she mysteriously calls 鈥渟omething
biological鈥�, it took 0.8 seconds to find 鈥�1 of about 2鈥� hits.
About two hits? What on Earth does that mean?
RESPECTED research institutions are falling over themselves to benefit from
the publicity surrounding Steven Spielberg鈥檚 film AI.
鈥淪mart machines?鈥� gushes a press release from Bowdoin College in Brunswick,
Maine. 鈥淎I? What鈥檚 real? What鈥檚 science fiction? Bowdoin College expert plumbs
issues in Spielberg film . . .鈥�
The press release goes on to offer offer Eric Chown, a computer science
professor at the college, for comments on artificial intelligence. By way of a
taster, Chown tells us that, in principle, there鈥檚 no reason why a computer
couldn鈥檛 be 鈥渇airly indistinguishable鈥� from a human, but 鈥渢hat day is a long way
辞蹿蹿鈥�.
Meanwhile, NASA is also trying to get in on the act. A press release from the
NASA Ames Research Center similarly offers a 鈥渓ive interview鈥� with an AI
expert.
鈥淵ou might get a glimpse of the world of artificial intelligence in Steven
Spielberg鈥檚 movie AI, but this is your chance to talk live to a
scientist who actually makes machines do what before was possible only for
humans鈥攖o think.鈥�
This time, the boffin on offer is Daniel Clancy, who is available to discuss
the 鈥渃utting-edge technologies鈥� developed at Ames.
WHAT is the most environmentally friendly way of disposing of dead bodies?
Turning them into compost, says Swedish biologist Susanne Wiigh-Masak.
The problem with conventional burial, Wiigh-Masak points out, is that
cemeteries can pose a threat to water supplies, while cremation releases toxic
gases. So she has developed a method of immersing bodies in liquid nitrogen to
remove water, causing them to crumble into fine organic dust. This is then
placed in a container that biodegrades within six months.
The result makes splendid potting soil, says Wiigh-Masak. She has tested the
method with pig and cow carcasses and says she planted roses above the
containers with excellent results.
According to Science magazine鈥檚 online news service Science
Now, Swedish government officials have told Wiigh-Masak that if public
opinion is favourable, the relevant laws could be changed to allow the method to
be used for humans. Wiigh-Masak hopes to turn her first corpse into compost next
year.
FOUND by reader Thomas Scott in a bookshop in Truro, Cornwall: A Brief
History of Time, filed under 鈥淔oreign languages鈥�
A RECENT issue of the South Wales Echo reported: 鈥淪taff had to
evacuate a South Wales truck firm after an electrical fire threatened to ignite
a carbon dioxide container at the company depot. Fire crews using specialist
equipment were called . . . Nobody was hurt in the blaze.鈥�
We wonder what specialist equipment they used. The normal method of
extinguishing an electrical fire is to spray it with carbon dioxide.
碍翱顿础碍鈥橲 Australian website (www.kodak.com.au)
carries information about the
DC4800 digital camera. Readers are invited to download an Adobe Acrobat version
of the document for printing in the language of their choice. They are also told
how much memory this will consume鈥攆or example, 鈥淓nglish (US) (5.98 mb)鈥� or
鈥淓nglish (UK) (1 mb)鈥�.
We can only conclude that the American version never uses one word when six
will do.
FINALLY, Adelaide Zoo has a glossy brochure with large print on the front
which reads: 鈥淏ring One Child and Another Goes Free.鈥�
Reader Ivan Porbert wants to know: Are they rotating stock? Are they
maintaining a broad gene pool by preventing inbreeding? Are they releasing
surplus stock into the wild? And so on . . .