HERE IS a story of motes, beams and Greek archaeologists. Last year, Greece
tried desperately to save ancient artefacts from destruction by the Taliban
after Mullah Omar decreed that the great statues of Buddha in the Bamian
province should be blown up. Greece offered to buy these and any other
pre-Islamic statues and to house anything else that offended the Taliban鈥檚
fundamentalist sensibilities. A spokesman said at the time that the Greek
government was 鈥渟teadfastly bent on the principles and values of culture鈥�. But,
despite worldwide protest, the statues were destroyed.
Greece has now renewed its offer to help Afghanistan after the fall of the
Taliban. It plans to send archaeologists to Kabul to advise on antiquities, help
pay for repairing the museum there and to house endangered artefacts until the
situation settles down. Naturally enough, the archaeologists are particularly
interested in Greek relics dating from the time of Alexander the Great.
Good for them, we say. But back in Greece, attitudes don鈥檛 seem to be quite
so enlightened. One of the most famous of all Greek archaeological
sites鈥攖hat of the battle of Marathon鈥攊s about to disappear under the
bulldozer. Here, in one of the key battles of ancient times, the Athenians and
Plateans defeated an invading Persian army in 490 BC, despite being outnumbered
four to one. The Marathon site is still only partially investigated but you can
forget the past in this bit of Greece. Described by the International Olympic
Commission as the only 鈥渟uitable鈥� site, Marathon is being obliterated to provide
a rowing pool for the Summer Olympics in Athens in 2004.
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IT SEEMS that Evgeny Podkletnov is a little slow with his progress in
building an anti-gravity device, as reported in this magazine on
12 January (p 24).
The ScrewFix catalogue already includes a Viper Hammer with 鈥渟pecial
anti-gravity balancing鈥�. But what are the benefits of this feature, other than
making it easier to knock nails in ceilings?
THE DRAMATIC collapse of US energy giant Enron has focused the media
spotlight on accounting firm Arthur Andersen. And a painful, unfamiliar
experience it is turning out to be. Arthur Andersen, after all, is used to
licking its wounds in relative anonymity.
Feedback recalls the time when NASA 鈥渕isplaced鈥� about $600 million in
its accounts two years ago. As a leading US congressman remarked at the time:
鈥淭hat鈥檚 one colossal rounding error.鈥� But despite the size of the figure, the
affair did not generate global headlines and was soon forgotten. And the firm
responsible for auditing NASA鈥檚 accounts, which should have picked up the
mistake and which was quietly let go soon after? Why, none other than Arthur
Andersen.
READER Keith Huggett was prompted by our piece on aptronyms
(12 January) to
tell us that many years ago, at the Mitcham Grammar School for Boys in south
London, there were four pupils in one year named Huggett, Brushett, Pettit and
Boylett.
Huggett is unwilling to discuss the direction his own life subsequently took,
but says he often wonders how Brushett, Pettit and Boylett got on.
HEALTH FOOD is more wonderful than any of you thought. Duncan Cameron was
reading Healthy, published by purveyors of health food Holland &
Barrett. 鈥淐onsuming large quantities of Vitamin C,鈥� he read, 鈥渕ay halve your
risk of death.鈥� And it鈥檚 not just H&B that says so: 鈥淎ccording to research
published in The Lancet,鈥� Healthy tells us, 鈥渋ncreasing
consumption of fruit and vegetables by 50 grams a day may cut your risk of death
by 20 per cent.鈥�
Feedback is going straight out to the street market to get a kilo of luvverly
fresh, 100 per cent organic carrots, and munch the lot on the bus home. This, by
the logic being deployed by Healthy, should result in our risk of death
changing to minus 400 per cent. So expect four separate columns next week, and
forever. . .
READER Andy Best works for a major British defence contractor. The firm
recently upgraded its telephone exchange to digital over the weekend.
Inevitably, when staff came in to work on the Monday there were a host of
problems: missing phones, wrong extensions and so on. While the staff were
engaged in the usual cynical conversations that follow such cock-ups, a voice
came over the tannoy to announce: 鈥淧lease ring 3996 if your telephone does not
飞辞谤办.鈥�
JUST occasionally, a product description shows refreshing modesty. According
to reader Mark Baker, the manual for his new Toyota car includes the stern
reminder: 鈥淭he anti-lock brake system cannot overcome the laws of physics that
act on your vehicle.鈥�
ISLAM shows its influence in the most unexpected places. The first
instruction in the installation manual for a Samsung SyncMaster 753DF computer
monitor states: 鈥淪et the front of your monitor to face the east if possible. The
colours, bend and tilt of the screen may change according to the installation
诲颈谤别肠迟颈辞苍.鈥�
FOR THOSE who retain their carpentry skills in the afterlife, a recent
classified advertisement in Vegan magazine offers help with 鈥済reen/DIY
蹿耻苍别谤补濒蝉鈥�.
AN INVALUABLE tool of hard-pressed general practitioners is the British
National Formulary. It lists all the currently available drugs, uses,
contraindications and side effects. But reader Tim Gietzen was a little
nonplussed by its entry for a non-cyclical hormone replacement therapy
preparation he was looking up: 鈥淧remique. Start on the first day of the
menstrual cycle. Not to be used within 12 months of the last menstrual
辫别谤颈辞诲.鈥�
FINALLY, reader Tom Jeffs spotted an intriguing sign on a van in the west of
England recently. Belonging to Barten鈥檚 Office Goods Delivery, the van sported
the company motto on its side: 鈥淲e move stationary fast.鈥�