THERE isn鈥檛 much to do in Newfoundland in winter, now the cod have been fished to oblivion. One pastime is to see what you can catch through holes in the ice; pneumonia doesn鈥檛 count.
Errol Squires thought he鈥檇 won one such contest in St John鈥檚 this winter, when he reeled in an eel that weighed a whopping 1.1 kilograms. Imagine his chagrin when the prize went instead to a skinny little trout weighing a quarter as much鈥攐n the grounds that it was a fish, and the eel wasn鈥檛.
Perhaps this is understandable in a province where 鈥渇ish鈥� universally means cod. But the University of British Columbia Fisheries Centre takes serious exception to the decision. Eels are fish, storms centre scientist Nigel Haggan, and of a far more ancient lineage than trout. Far more.
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It seems the reason eels swim thousands of kilometres from European and North American rivers to the mid-Atlantic to spawn every year is because, at one time, it wasn鈥檛 much of a trip. But over the millions of years that eels have been doing this, the narrow channel between Europe and North America has widened a mite.
鈥淓els have already suffered much due to a cruel twist of plate tectonics,鈥� Haggan laments. He feels Squires deserves the prize鈥攁 14-foot motor boat鈥攁nd that eels everywhere deserve an apology. But maybe apologising to fish is not a habit Newfoundlanders want to get into.
WHEN employees at Microsoft鈥檚 British division in Reading phone the internal help desk because, for example, a light above their heads is flickering and distracting them, the holding music they hear while they wait for a response is the Louis Armstrong number We Have All the Time in the World..
It must be quite irritating.
YOU never realise a person鈥檚 far-reaching cultural impact until they die. Palaeontologist Stephen Jay Gould was famed for his erudite writings as well as for his research on evolution, so when he died it wasn鈥檛 at all surprising to read an outpouring of statements from science writers, palaeontologists and other intellectuals.
However, it was quite surprising to see a tribute at the end of an episode of The Simpsons TV cartoon series. It turns out that the erudite Gould once made a cameo cartoon appearance on the show. So tagged onto the credits of the show that aired two days after his death was the simple memorial 鈥淭his Episode in Memory of Stephen J. Gould鈥�, accompanied by a clip of his cartoon appearance in the earlier episode.
ACCORDING to CNN.com, NASA has developed a gel that is 99.8 per cent air and has been designated the least dense solid in the world by Guinness World Records. The site tells us that 鈥渢he record-breaking gel is composed of silicon dioxide and sand鈥�.
Reader Christopher Blandford wonders if they used dihydrogen monoxide and water when making it.
ANDY RIDGEWELL was looking through last summer鈥檚 report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, entitled IPCC Special Report: Land use, land-use change, and forestry: summary for policymakers. Glancing at 鈥淎ppendix III鈥擥lossary鈥�, he noticed the following definitions: 鈥淩eservoir鈥擜 pool. Pool鈥擲ee 鈥楥arbon Pool鈥�. Carbon Pool鈥擜 reservoir.鈥�
No wonder negotiating climate treaties takes so long.
JUST YESTERDAY Feedback needed to buy, in a hurry, yet another of those leads that connects a laptop to the telephone system. The only one on sale in the neighbourhood seemed to be a miracle of technology. The High Speed Internet Modem Cable from Belkin bears a lifetime warranty and promises 鈥渕aximum performance鈥�, possibly due to 24-carat gold plating for 鈥渙ptimum conductivity鈥�. And yes, it鈥檚 a tad more expensive than your generic wire.
Specifically, it claims 鈥渄ata transmission speeds up to 100 Mbps鈥�. Firmly welded to one end is a plug of the type which, in Feedback鈥檚 experience, only connects to the British public telephone network. Now the phone network can only manage a data transfer rate of 38 Mbps, maximum. So how can the lead move bits any faster than that?
On the same magical-thinking principle, and shamelessly exploiting those who don鈥檛 want to think about how anything works, Feedback is now planning to market a lead with added eye of newt that promises to deliver only emails bearing good news.
READER Biff Bernon was registering the bed and breakfast guest house he runs with bandbBritain.com, but not a lot happened when he hit the submit button. He clicked it again and was told the following: 鈥淵ou have already submitted the form. Please be patient. The Internet has had a busy day and is a little tired. As soon as it catches its breath, it will deliver your registration confirmation.鈥� Ahhhh.
THE LATEST catalogue from Innovations advertises a designer version of a battery-operated torch that features 鈥渁 chrome-finished touch strip, curved matt silver front and elegant opaque lens鈥�.
Is this, at last, the source of the fabled dark light?
SICK BAGS on Qantas airlines state at the top 鈥淚f affected by motion sickness please use this bag鈥�. Underneath, it says: 鈥淧lease take this bag with you and pass on to family or friends if you are unable to use鈥�.
Reader Jenny Narroway tells us that no matter how hard she tried she was unable to be sick in the bag on her flight to New Zealand. She hopes her family and friends will have more success.
FINALLY, Ladybird children鈥檚 sandals carry a particularly informative label telling purchasers what the sandals are made of. It says: 鈥淯pper鈥� other material. Lining鈥攐ther material/textile. Sole鈥� other material.鈥�