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THE Great Depression gave birth to the venerable board game Monopoly. The dotcom collapse now has its counterpart – a card game called Burn Rate, from a company called Cool Studio.

Players start with four cards, each representing an employee in their “company”, and $100 million in investment. Like most real dotcoms, players can’t make any money, but they can raise more money by playing their cards right. The goal is to keep going until everybody else has run out of money.

Software engineer Rich Koehler thought up the idea while working at a dotcom in the Seattle area, but didn’t have time to develop it until he was laid off last year. We haven’t seen a copy yet, but the website makes it sound like the perfect thing to while away the time when you don’t have a job.

THE publisher Citebase shows a touching concern for the mental well-being of visitors to its website (citebase.eprints. org). Eager authors who go there, anxious to find out how many citations their latest paper has received, are given the option to click on “Impact Health-Warning”. When they do so, they are sensitively told: “Please do not despair if your papers fail to appear or have few or no citations.”

We support this concern, but feel Citebase could have gone a little further and provided authors with the phone number and Web address for the Samaritans’ counselling service. For some, the knowledge that nobody is citing you at all can go down very badly.

GOBBLEDYGOOK from video-rental company Blockbuster. Aaron Hathaway tells us he was in a Blockbuster store recently, and found a flyer with a chart showing when rented videos and games were due to be returned.

Under the chart was the following information: “Limited Time Only. Rentals not returned by noon on date due shall be assessed an extended viewing fee on a per rental period basis. 5-day rentals are now 1-week rentals and if not received by noon on the 9th day shall be assessed an extended viewing fee equal to the original price for each additional weekly rental period, provided that the extended viewing fee policy in participating franchise stores may vary. Membership rules apply for rental. At participating stores for a limited time only. See participating stores for details and extended viewing fee policy.”

Got that?

IS THIS the longest and silliest product code ever? Reader Nick Maris ordered some Iconlover software from Aha-soft. When he placed the order, he was told: “Thank you for your recent purchase! Provided below is important information about the delivery of your products…Your license name is: nick maris. Your license code is: 0Q1bSjcJRvJmxtO2xijEfGeRtPYh-YT+CwlA9MVuxlNxHnGesoMIXP4sbkWrMA8mPpG8f7o8osy7c+XRAcIcW92XloqVVZ0jQma79Vn3//aQFUoZL9W+NuiiBYwo57c8Q3mcUVra7C9TUBqKVs/wZl21ISFPt+7Dhr7f3ySvVCMQY=”

MANY British readers will be familiar with the “Lost consonants” cartoons that appear in The Guardian’s Weekend supplement. Keir Allen tells us of a recent real-life example, when he was told in a letter that work was due to start on some neighbouring contaminated land. The letter informed him that “all the drilling work will be carried out by our elves”.

Allen was most disappointed when the workers arrived and turned out to be the usual large blokes.

AS PART of the science curriculum, British school pupils are expected to learn how to access and use data from scientific sources.

Reader John Shale tells us he was trying to locate suitable websites, so he typed in “data analysis” as a search keyword, only to be rebuffed by his school’s Net Nanny software. The reason, he has worked out, lies in the first four letters of the second word.

He adds that he long ago gave up trying to access anything containing the word “biology”. This word is also a no-no, in case children try to access matters relating to sex education.

FROM the “There is a time and place” department. The instruction manual of the Omron BF 300, a device that measures body fat, suggests the following: “Never use in combination with artificial heart-lung and other electronic life-support systems.”

Guy Warner, who sent us this, points out that people in such a situation might well have more pressing concerns than measuring their body fat.

MELBOURNE’S The Age recently ran an article entitled “New pill to shake up Viagra”. According to a Dr Parker, the new pill has just been approved for use in Australia for treatment of erectile dysfunction. Said Parker: “Essentially, it provides a lot more flexibility than Viagra does.”

Hasn’t he rather missed the point? FINALLY, reader Julia Bevan was impressed by the commitment to security displayed by Whittlebury Hall Hotel, near Silverstone in Northamptonshire. In the room she stayed in there was a printed notice saying: “In the interest of security, please ensure that your bedroom door is fully closed when entering or leaving your room”.

Unfortunately, Bevan’s room was on the second floor, making entering or leaving it via the window both difficult and hazardous.

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