杏吧原创

SINCE we last touched on the topic (23 March), readers have continued to tell us of their disorientating experiences of semiopathy 鈥� otherwise known as 鈥渟ign empathy鈥� or, as a BBC Radio 4 presenter apparently termed it, 鈥渟emantic vertigo鈥� (thanks to Steven Rogers for telling us this). Here鈥檚 a selection.

Jim Keilthy reports being perturbed by a sign at Romford railway station reading: 鈥淐aution: Do not run on the stairs. Use the handrail鈥�. He says that despite his best efforts, he couldn鈥檛 keep his balance.

The April/May edition of the Open University鈥檚 publication Sesame carried the headline: 鈥淗elp save the world from your desktop鈥�. Keith Moseley was concerned 鈥� he hadn鈥檛 realised his computer was so dangerous.

Mona Loofs says she always feels a little sad when she passes a sign in Canberra telling her: 鈥淏oring machine ahead鈥�.

Joan Hinchliffe鈥檚 children were excited by a sign at the zoo saying 鈥淢onster Man Eating Shark鈥�. But though they watched the shark for some time, the monster man never turned up.

Roger Weeks tells us that until recently there was a shop in Auckland with a sandwich board on the pavement telling passing motorists to 鈥淏rake and Clutch Parts鈥�. The absence of wreckage and skid marks suggested that few observed the injunction.

Simon Smith was surprised by the unusual services offered by two advertisements seen in the Cardiff area, 鈥淜night Rentals鈥� and 鈥淏ishop Lifting Services鈥�.

Being a man, Neil McNaught was embarrassed by a handwritten note on a door in a bakery-cum-tearoom in the village of Muthill, Perthshire. It read: 鈥淭oilet 鈥� for sitting-down customers only鈥�. Not wishing to advertise his business, he decided to go elsewhere.

In similar vein, a technical manual for a cassette recorder informed Andii Clayton鈥檚 grandfather that if he should have difficulty with his machine, local service engineers could easily be found as they were 鈥渟tamped on the backside鈥�.

Catherine Gater鈥檚 hopes were raised by a sign at a road junction near Ringwood in Hampshire: 鈥淔ish and chips left at lights鈥�. But someone else must have eaten them, for they were no longer there.

Phil Riding鈥檚 Internet bank account with First Direct invites him to 鈥淧rint Friendly Statement鈥�. But when he does, it still shows he has an overdraft.

Jeremy Marshall was surprised to see his local supermarket advertising for a 鈥淔rozen Supervisor鈥�. No doubt the competition was stiff.

Simon Tonge realises he鈥檚 been underestimating sheep for years now, after seeing a sign on the Kingswear headland in Devon: 鈥淪heep, please keep dogs under control鈥�. And Kristin Blume had similar feelings when she came across a road sign in Tasmania that read: 鈥淲ildlife Drive Slowly at Night鈥�.

Neil Holmes, meanwhile, was distressed by the heartlessness of a notice in sheep territory on the North York Moors that said: 鈥淒ogs found worrying will be shot鈥�.

Finally, a colleague of Feedback鈥檚 who thinks cities would be better off without cars and refuses to drive one, reports his heartfelt agreement with a sign he saw beside some road works, saying: 鈥淧edestrians look right鈥�.

SOME things, we innocently believed, had to be true. Such as the date that often appears at the end of the author鈥檚 preface in a book, to show how up-to-date they were when they signed off their volume. Who would want to lie about such a thing? Certainly no reputable journalist.

But now, innocence is lost. The new paperback edition of A Passage to Africa, the memoirs of the BBC鈥檚 estimable former Africa correspondent George Alagiah, has a touching preface signed: 鈥淕eorge Alagiah, October 2002鈥�.

We read this in the second week of August, but who knows when it was written? Somehow Alagiah鈥檚 urgent dispatches from the front line will never seem the same again.

WE mourn the cancellation of what was arguably to have been the highlight of the Pacific Rim conference on Artificial Intelligence in Tokyo last week. Still, if the organisers of the International Workshop on Belief Change can鈥檛 change their minds, who can?

THE weather-forecasting device sold in Australia by Altronics of Perth is truly impressive. According to the advertisement for it in Silicon Chip magazine, it 鈥淧redicts changes in weather conditions ahead of time鈥�.

ANYONE who uses email knows spam is a nuisance, and most people welcome effective ways to stop it. That鈥檚 created a market for software that can recognise and block spam 鈥� and, of course, that software has to be advertised. So what better way to advertise than to send out a spam, decided someone at the software firm McAfee. The result was a bulk email promotion 鈥淪ay Goodbye to Junk Email with McAfee.com 厂辫补尘碍颈濒濒别谤鈥�.

A curious Feedback wonders if McAfee鈥檚 product would block McAfee鈥檚 own spam.

FINALLY, reader P. C. Newman informs us that the self-service coffee machines in the restaurant at the IKEA furniture store in Brent Cross, London, have taps labelled 鈥淗ot Water鈥�. Underneath, a second sign says: 鈥淲arning: Hot Water.鈥�

Is supermarket chain Safeway pioneering a new branch of mathematics? Reader Bob Dines tells us that a sign by a display of rugs in the Worthing store announces: 鈥淪quare Rug. 3鈥�3鈥� 脳 4鈥�7鈥�.