BUSTFIRMER.COM recently sent us some junk email offering to round out our small, flat or sagging breasts, keep them healthy by balancing our hormones, and, best of all, prevent the occurrence of 鈥渕ammary tumours鈥�. This is all achieved, apparently, by a bra that delivers electric stimulation. And as an added bonus, they offer to 鈥減rolong鈥� the ageing process.
We were pretty sure their science would prove as dodgy as their English (surely they mean 鈥渄elay鈥�?), but just to be sure we checked with Marilyn Schneider, executive director of the Canadian Breast Cancer Research Initiative.
鈥淓xcuse me, but an electric bra? There鈥檚 no plausible biological mechanism there,鈥� she says. Breasts are mostly fat, not muscle, so the electric stimulation can鈥檛 work in the same way as thigh-and-bum firmers. And, Schneider adds, given that there are some (probably spurious) claims that bras and power lines cause breast cancer, it seems that sticking electricity in a bra is a doubly silly thing to do. 鈥淚t鈥檚 irresponsible when people make these claims,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e preying on the fears of women.鈥�
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We would provide you with the URL so you can check out the claims yourself, but they appear to have moved without leaving a forwarding address. Watch for the spam in your inbox. But don鈥檛 buy the bra.
A STARTLING claim was made in Australia鈥檚 Herald Sun newspaper on 13 July, page 3. Under the heading 鈥淲ailing for love鈥�, it stated: 鈥淎ustralia has become a Mecca for whale watchers and scientists. Up to 100 a day can be seen at Cape Byron, Australia鈥檚 most easterly mainland point. 鈥楨very year they come up, mate and give birth and you see a lot of activity,鈥� said the Southern Cross Centre for Whale Research director David Paton.鈥�
Disappointingly, a fuller story on page 13 went on to give the whales the credit for the 鈥渁ctivity鈥�, rather than the whale watchers.
HOW do they do that, then? On the box of the new Logitech MouseMan Optical computer mouse it says: 鈥淟ogitech鈥檚 patented digital radio technology works in a two-metre range of your computer. You鈥檒l even get outstanding performance on crowded desks because the signal goes around objects.鈥�
FASCINATING research paper of the week is 鈥淓ar size as a predictor of chronological age鈥� by R. Tan, V. Osman and G. Tan (Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics, vol 25, p 187). According to the abstract, the authors wanted to test the commonly held notion that noses and ears get bigger as people grow older, so they measured these appendages among 100 young people and compared them with those of 100 old people.
The result? Noses stay more or less the same as the years advance. But: 鈥淭his study supports the view that as people age, their ears get larger, particularly the ear circumference, which increases on average 0.51 millimetres per year.鈥�
AND two other interesting-sounding papers have recently come to our attention. One is 鈥淐harged artifacts and the detonation of liminality teddy-bear diplomacy in the newborn incubator machine鈥� by K. M. Landzelius, (Journal of Material Culture, vol 6, p 323). The other is: 鈥淥n the origin of faeces: morphological versus molecular methods for surveying rare carnivores from their scats鈥� by Angus Davison, Johnny D. S. Birks, Rachael C. Brookes, Tony C. Braithwaite and John E. Messenger (Journal of Zoology, vol 257, p 141).
Sadly, we haven鈥檛 yet had time to read these, but we鈥檙e sure they鈥檙e fascinating. Darwin, however, might not have approved of the second one.
READER Rachel Cave asks a pertinent question which also occurred to Feedback on a recent holiday: 鈥淐an anyone explain to me why, in the post-11 September tightening-up of security, I must put my eyebrow tweezers in my hold luggage or risk having them confiscated as a potential weapon, but I am allowed to carry on board a heavy glass club containing a highly flammable liquid, which can be converted to a lethal weapon in a trice by smartly rapping it on the nearest bulkhead?
There are hundreds of these weapons for sale in every duty-free shop.鈥�
ANOTHER in our 鈥淚 want to murder my computer鈥� series. Reader John Netherwood bought a new mouse when his old one gave up the ghost. He repeatedly followed the installation instructions, trying both serial and PS/2 ports, but all he got was a pop-up window stating: 鈥淲indows did not detect a mouse attached to the computer. You can safely attach a serial mouse now. To attach to a PS/2 port you must first turn off the computer.鈥�
Two options were presented: A click-box stating 鈥淒o not show this message in future鈥�, and a 鈥淵es鈥� button.
These prompts could only be responded to by using the mouse.
A TV AERIAL installer has been trying to drum up business by advertising in the High Wycombe edition of the Thomson Local Directory. The advert announces in bold headlines: 鈥淎ll Aerials Electronically Aligned. Interference and Poor Reception a Speciality.鈥�
We wonder how trade is doing.
THE public conveniences at Amsterdam鈥檚 Schiphol airport carry the logo and name of the company that maintains them. All very good, but the name doesn鈥檛 exactly inspire confidence. The lavatories proudly bear the legend 鈥淪urprising Toilets鈥�.
FINALLY, thanks to reader Julia Deady for letting us know that she has spotted New 杏吧原创 being sold in branches of the supermarket chain Asda. They were shelved in the 鈥淔or Men鈥� section.
Halfords car accessories store claims that their Black Car Colour Polish is: 鈥淪uitable for all shades of black鈥�