One way to acquire at least a reputation for wit is to fill up on entertaining, abstruse anecdotes that make you sound brighter than your listeners. And what better time to acquire that conversational edge than when relaxing on holiday or indulging in a long soak in the bath? The only requirement is that the books you skim will give you a good return on invested time.
Begin with a skinny book that promises much 鈥� and delivers. Philosopher Simon Critchley鈥檚 On Humour (Routledge, 拢7.99) is dripping with sharp quotes and neat jokes. An offer of a second cup of tea to a French intellectual brings the elegant refusal, 鈥淣on, je suis mono-th茅-iste鈥�. Critchley shares out the buried joke: philosopher Emmanuel Levinas specialised in monotheism. He follows up with a Tommy Cooper gem: 鈥淪o I got home and the phone鈥檚 ringing. 鈥榃ho鈥檚 speaking please?鈥� A voice down the line says, 鈥榊ou are.'鈥� Of course, this will all sound more impressive when you sprinkle in a little of Critchley鈥檚 argument that we aren鈥檛 just Homo ludens, as Huizanga argued, but Homo ridens, and pepper it with his idea that 鈥渉uman鈥� isn鈥檛 a single category but a negotiation between categories. Definitely time well invested.
What else matches up to its wit and history? Well, you could take the contrarian route. Try Mark Carwardine and Ken Watterson鈥檚 The Shark-Watcher鈥檚 Handbook (BBC Books, 拢16.99). Here are loving portraits of nature鈥檚 greatest gross-out eaters, with full details of how to get close to them. 鈥淚magine drifting in a strong current, with more potentially dangerous sharks than fellow divers, at depths of 30 metres or more 鈥� and you begin to understand the appeal of Protea Banks.鈥� This trip to Kwazulu-Natal waters is not, say the authors, for the faint-hearted or inexperienced. But it would make a stunning 鈥渨hat I did on my holidays鈥� tale.
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Or you could arm yourself for the increasingly acrimonious debate about the return or non-return of the marbles from the Parthenon. Classicists suffer from an outdated image 鈥� silent libraries and secret etymological glee as they pursue a word across time and cultures. Mary Beard鈥檚 brilliant The Parthenon (Profile) should put paid to that. Her engagement with both modern and ancient worlds is impressive, as is her erudition and liveliness.
Armed with sharks, jokes, philosophy and a take on the construction of the classic canon, you should be able to take on any intellectual beachcombers.