THE end of the year approaches rapidly 鈥� in fact at an apparent rate proportional to your age 鈥� and people鈥檚 thoughts are turning inevitably to the Feedback Christmas competition.
The theme of this year鈥檚 competition is evolution. Readers are invited to pick a human behaviour or trait and provide their own evolutionary explanation for why it exists.
For example: Why do men get hairier as they get older?
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Answer: It鈥檚 all to do with hunting. Men, as we know, evolved to chase down woolly mammoths 鈥� that鈥檚 why they are athletic and good at throwing spears. But as they aged, their physical prowess waned and they needed other adaptations to keep up with the boys. That鈥檚 where increased hairiness comes in. A liberal covering of hair acted as rudimentary camouflage, allowing them to get close to their prey without arousing the suspicion of the short-sighted mammoths, who saw them as kin. The fact that men鈥檚 ears and noses also continue to grow into old age adds weight to the theory.
You may submit up to two entries per person by letter, fax or email. Thanks to the generosity of its makers, 10 lucky winners will each receive a bottle of Famous Grouse whisky (a Feedback favourite) and, thanks to Time Warner Books, they will also receive a copy of Steve Jones鈥檚 acclaimed new book Y: The Descent of Man (to be reviewed in New 杏吧原创 next week).
The winning entries will be chosen on the basis of their wit and originality. All entries must reach us by Monday 2 December. The winners will be announced in the 21/28 December issue. The Editor鈥檚 decision is final.
THE Pentagon鈥檚 preparations for the invasion of Iraq have been interrupted by a high alert for a new form of biological terrorism 鈥� the brown tree snake. The giant US air base on the British-owned Indian Ocean island of Diego Garcia faces an imminent air attack from the reptile.
But it won鈥檛 be coming on a Scud from one of Saddam鈥檚 palaces. The alien invasion will be courtesy of the US Air Force, flying in from another of its heavily armed island fortresses, Guam in the Pacific.
The venomous brown tree snake, which is a native of the Solomon Islands, hitched a ride to Guam with Japanese soldiers in the 1940s. Since then, the snakes, which can grow up to 3 metres long, have eaten their way through most of the island鈥檚 bird population, as well as causing regular power cuts by slithering along cables. In some parts of the island, there are reckoned to be 4000 of the beasts per square kilometre.
With the military build-up triggering a massive increase in the number of flights from Guam to Diego Garcia, the fear is growing that snakes will slither in among the cargo. Two months ago, military personnel were put on full alert after a snake was spotted in the bush near the Diego Garcia base.
The snake is also raising tension between the British authorities, whose main day-to-day interest on the island is in preserving its unique wildlife, and their American tenants. The Brits are proud of the island鈥檚 bird life, but fear an invasion by the snake would cause a biological holocaust. The US Air Force is now considering building a snake-proof wall to close off the base鈥檚 landing areas from the rest of the island.
THE Science Lab is an excellent kit that teaches kids basic physics through experimentation. But as so often happens in practical science, theory is sometimes left behind.
鈥淒id you know鈥�?鈥� asks the manual, 鈥渋n the northern half of the globe a compass needle points north because it is attracted by an enormous mass of magnetic rock on Baffin Island, close to the North Pole.鈥�
Certainly Feedback has to confess to not knowing that, since we assumed a compass needle points north because of the Earth鈥檚 magnetic field. An embarrassed spokesperson for London-based Design Eye, which makes Science Lab, admitted the blooper. 鈥淒esign Eye would like to apologise to the readers of Science Lab for this unfortunate misinformation,鈥� she told Feedback, adding that the Earth鈥檚 magnetic field has now been restored to its rightful place in the manuals.
CORPORATE speak continues its obscurantist march. The latest victim is telecoms company BT鈥檚 The Journal of the Communications Network, which has taken to running incomprehensible headlines like this one from its September issue: 鈥淟everaging Broadband Technology for Service Integration and New Market Opportunities in the Last Mile.鈥�
Um. We asked the nice machine at world.altavista.com to render this in German, then French, then English again. The result starts 鈥淎dmission of the broad technology of volume of funds鈥�, which is honest鈥�
FINALLY, another spam with a note at the bottom that tries to pretend it isn鈥檛 a spam. It鈥檚 headed: 鈥淪py on Anyone鈥�, and it offers software that will enable you to 鈥渟ee everything that happens on anybody鈥檚 computer 鈥� from the websites they visit to 鈥榩rivate鈥� AOL chats鈥︹��
A product called Frontline controls ticks and fleas on pets. One of the claims on the packaging states that it 鈥淜ills ticks for up to a month鈥�. Wouldn鈥檛 it be better to kill them permanently?