THE WEB is abuzz with speculation over the identity of the eccentric and diligent writer of the reviews posted on amazon.com under the name of Henry Raddick.
The reviews have gained legendary status partly because of the range of books Raddick manages to cover 鈥� the Handbook of Meat Product Technology by Michael D. Ranken and Plastic surgery 鈥� Penis Enhancement Surgery 鈥� A self-help guide for men by Faiz Ansan were two recent additions to his burgeoning collection 鈥� but also because of the outlet they give Raddick for colourful vignettes about his curious family life. His wife Marjorie鈥檚 battle against obesity is a regular theme, as is his recent sacking from a job he held for 23 years.
Yet the reviews are also full of useful advice. In his discussion of You Can Teach Your Dog to Eliminate on Command by M. L. Smith, Raddick advises caution: 鈥淭ake care when choosing your 鈥榗ommand words鈥� and 鈥榮mart phrases鈥� to avoid words your dog is likely to hear on the television. It took four episodes of Ally McBeal before I realised that my 鈥榝ull evacuation鈥� command was in the theme song.鈥�
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But Raddick鈥檚 real identity remains unknown, despite the investigative attentions of journalists from The New York Times and US National Public Radio. Most recently, Raddick has come to the attention of TheRegister.co.uk, a website devoted to news about the computer industry, which decided to look into the latest and most outrageous rumour. Sadly, the website鈥檚 investigation ended in failure when a spokesman for Prince Charles declared that the heir to the British throne is definitely not Henry Raddick.
A full list of Raddick鈥檚 work is at .
PUSHING their luck, weren鈥檛 they? On 11 October, Britain鈥檚 Particle Physics and Astronomy Research Council sent out a press release that was embargoed until Thursday 17 October. It began: 鈥淭he world鈥檚 most advanced gamma-ray space telescope Integral [International Gamma Ray Astrophysics Laboratory] was successfully launched today [17 October 2002] from the Baikonur Cosmodrome, Kazakhstan鈥︹��
Fortunately, there were no red faces six days later. The launch was indeed a success.
THREE weeks ago we asked readers to suggest a name for the tendency of cellphones to make inadvertent phone calls when left in a pocket or bag with the keypad unlocked.
There were lots of replies. Our favourite was 鈥渄ialicide鈥�, suggested by Derek Woodruffe after his mobile called a friend 鈥渆ntirely of its own volition鈥� while Woodruffe was discussing him and left a recording of the discussion on the friend鈥檚 answering machine. This prompted us to think of our own variants such as 鈥渕obicide鈥�, 鈥渃ellicide鈥�, or even 鈥渁poptosis鈥� (cellular suicide).
Other suggestions we enjoyed were 鈥渄ialarhoea鈥�, 鈥渁ccidial鈥�, 鈥渒eypad poker鈥�, 鈥減ocket roulette鈥�, 鈥渢rigger happy calls鈥� and the acronym 鈥淏LURT鈥� (Button Left Unlocked, Recipient Tormented).
Thanks to all who wrote in 鈥� and see this week鈥檚 Letters (p 28) for more inadvertent phone-call stories.
MATHS is not the strongest point of the Food and Drug Administration inspector who visited the Coffee Garden restaurant in Salt Lake City, Utah, recently.
According to The Salt Lake Tribune, the menu at the Coffee Garden has for many years included a 鈥渟crumptious鈥� selection of quiches, prepared with a recipe that calls for four fresh eggs for each quiche. But the inspector told the owners that FDA research indicates that one in four eggs carries the salmonella bacterium 鈥� so restaurants should never use more than three eggs when preparing quiche.
The manager on duty asked if simply throwing out one in four eggs from each packet purchased and using the remainder in four-egg quiches would serve the same purpose. The Tribune reports that the inspector wasn鈥檛 sure, but she said she would try and find out.
CONTINUING the mathematical theme, a brochure from the Science Media Centre in London advising scientists on how to communicate with the public about risk reminds us that 鈥減eople often have problems with percentages鈥�. So, the leaflet advises, 鈥淪ay 1 in 10,000 rather than 0.0001 per cent.鈥�
Or, better still, say 1 in 1,000,000, which happens to be correct.
IS human sacrifice alive and well in southern England? In its newsletter promoting forthcoming attractions, the Swindon Old Town Partnership of Churches announced a lecture scheduled for 12 October entitled 鈥淐annibalism to Christianity in One Generation鈥�. It was to be followed by what the newsletter felicitously described as a 鈥渂ring and share finger buffet鈥�.
FINALLY, the safety note issued with a Sevylor pvc inflatable kayak tells us: 鈥淭his item is not a life-saving device. Use under adult supervision. This item is not to be eaten or burned.鈥�
A sign on display at Instow Yacht Club in Devon states: 鈥淔or insurance purposes, this gate must be closed and locked every time a vehicle passes through it鈥�