杏吧原创

FEEDBACK recently came across the Going Underground website 鈥� the 鈥渇un London Underground guide鈥� at . As we regularly travel on the tube, we particularly enjoyed the page of quotes from tube drivers and station announcers.

Some show their sweet-natured and thoughtful side. At Leyton station (where a train was stationary despite a green light) the driver told the passengers: 鈥淪orry for the delay ladies and gentlemen, but there is a queue of trains ahead of us so I have decided to wait here 鈥� because I鈥檓 sure you don鈥檛 want to sit in a tunnel getting all hot and sweaty.鈥�

But other announcements betray the merest hint of impatience. At Camden Town on a crowded Saturday afternoon the driver announced: 鈥淧lease let the passengers off the train first鈥�Please let the passengers off the train first鈥�Please let the passengers off the train first鈥�Let the passengers off the train FIRST!鈥�Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I鈥檓 going home.鈥�

And there are times when passengers must wonder if they are in entirely in safe hands. At Earl鈥檚 Court, the station PA declared: 鈥淭he train at platform three is not going to Parsons Green but to Richmond. The train approaching platform two is also not going to Parsons Green but to Ealing Broadway. These trains are not going to Parsons Green despite what the signalmen think.鈥�

Our favourite, though, has to be this one: 鈥淭o the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage: what part of 鈥榮tand clear of the doors鈥� don鈥檛 you understand?鈥�

READER Rob Knell and a colleague from the school of biological sciences at Queen Mary College, London, recently submitted a research paper to a major peer-reviewed science journal that our delicacy prevents us from naming. Using the journal鈥檚 online submission service, they sent their paper at 4.46 pm on a Wednesday and received an email rejecting it by 5.20 pm the same day.

Knell wants to know: is 34 minutes for a rejection a record? And if so, should he mention it on his CV?

SOME people get very serious indeed about their website鈥檚 Google 鈥減age rank鈥�. Others have fun with it.

Many readers will already have discovered what happens when you type 鈥渨eapons of mass destruction鈥� into Google鈥檚 search line and hit the 鈥淚鈥檓 feeling lucky鈥� button: 鈥淭hese weapons of mass destruction cannot be displayed鈥�Cannot find weapons or CIA error鈥�Click the Regime change button, or try again later鈥�Click the Bomb button if you are Donald Rumsfeld.鈥�

Fewer may have seen what happened until recently if you typed in 鈥淔rench military victories鈥�. What you got was: 鈥淒o you mean French military defeats?鈥�

There鈥檚 no techie trickery here, nor is someone at Google playing a prank. It seems that all you have to do is come up with a page that lots of people find sufficiently funny to link to from their sites 鈥� so that it rises to the top of the Google tree and gets picked by the 鈥淚鈥檓 feeling lucky鈥� button.

You can play too. Can you spoof a science story so successfully that it becomes Google鈥檚 number one site for the keywords that describe it? Go on, have a go.

AND talking of fun on the web, reader Thomas Thurman has a new game for people bored with conventional surfing. Go to the web, type in 鈥溾�� and then add up to three numbers and/or letters of your own choosing after the slash. By changing your choice of numbers and letters you hit all sorts of interesting sites without ever knowing in advance what they will be.

The trick exploits the tinyurl.com formula for making lengthy web addresses shorter by allocating them just one, two or three letters and numbers. Some of Feedback鈥檚 colleagues are already hooked. Go to marnanel.org/writing/tinyurl-whacking to find out more.

COULD the manufacturers of baby food please make their minds up about water? Reader Rob Buckland tells us that a week after buying some Sainsbury鈥檚 organic baby food that told him it contained an 鈥渁ccepted inorganic ingredient鈥� 鈥� water 鈥� he bought some Organix baby food that claims to be 鈥�100 per cent organic鈥� 鈥� and lists as its first ingredient, water.

YOUNG reader Rosa Clements has been getting confused by instructions on toys she has been given that were manufactured in the Far East. For example, instruction number two for her JS-2000A Juststart scooter reads: 鈥淎djust steer tube height and then frighten quick release.鈥� And instruction number six for her magic light yo-yo says: 鈥淏e careful of the mental parts when dissemble the yo-yo.鈥�

FINALLY, reader Mark Gilkey tells us of a cable TV company that is trying to attract new subscribers in California with a commercial about great men in science, including Galileo. To explain his greatness to the uninitiated, the ads declaim that he 鈥減roved that the sun is the centre of the universe鈥�.

Reader Iain Forrest was impressed when he read on the BBC weather page at : 鈥淲eather at the BBC. All about our broadcasters and how we produce the weather鈥�