Bombarded with animals
OVER the past few months we have published many examples of unusual units of measurement sent in by our ever-alert readers. It turns out that New 杏吧原创 readers are not alone in their interest: the UK-based online car humour magazine recently ran a summary of the unusual units people are in danger of encountering in their cars. We are grateful for permission to reproduce it here.
鈥淔ollowing a Department of Transport campaign which warned motorists that, in the event of an accident, an unbelted back seat passenger could hit the driver with the force of an elephant, an automotive science expert has issued his own animal-related impact warning. Professor Ken Freeply of Nigel Havers College, Kettering, claims that, whilst the government鈥檚 elephantine analysis may be correct, it fails to take into account other, equally lethal objects which can fly around a car鈥檚 interior in a crash.
鈥� 鈥業 think the DoT has oversimplified things with their pachyderm-based guidance,鈥� Prof Freeply claims. 鈥楾hat鈥檚 why I have produced a handy chart which will give people an instant ready reckoner for accidents. For example, I have calculated that a tissue box on the back shelf of a car would hit the driver with the same impact as a medium-sized guinea pig, whilst a ladies鈥� handbag would smash into the back of your head with a force equivalent to a King Charles spaniel or a very fat kitten.鈥�
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鈥淧rof Freeply is also keen to stress that it鈥檚 not just the obvious items that can harm you in a crash. 鈥楳any motorists may assume that something flat and relatively light like a CD case poses no threat,鈥� he says. 鈥楳y complex calculations show that in fact in a collision the driver may be hit with a force equivalent to a full-grown skate or sole. Furthermore, you know those air fresheners you can stick to the vents in your car? They may seem flimsy enough, but in an impact you would experience something like having a field mouse thrown at your face.鈥�
鈥淎lthough the objects/animals chart is still a work in progress, Prof Freeply has dire warning for drivers who ignore his findings: 鈥楾hanks to benchmarks such as the Euro NCAP tests, car buyers are well aware of the dangers posed by unyielding parts of car interiors and inadequate airbag provision, but they are blissfully ignorant of the simple fact that in a crash they will literally be bombarded with animals and fish.'鈥�
Unusual currency
IT IS not just units of measurement under threat, currency is too. According to the BBC article that Skipp Savage told us about (), 鈥淐hristmas shopping online
will be equivalent to the sales of 19 Bluewater Shopping Centres this year, according to Interactive Media in Retail Group.鈥� Can we have that in Mall-of-the-Americasese too, please?
As thick as two short Plancks
GUY Matthews was one of the winners in our summer competition, in which readers were asked what Stephen Hawking should work on next (11 September). Matthews鈥檚 winning entry was: 鈥淚n contrast to black holes, why has information failed to escape from many copies of A Brief History of Time?鈥� His prize was a copy of Hawking鈥檚 more recent The Universe in a Nutshell 鈥� and we challenged him to let us know if he managed to extract any information from it.
鈥淚 can report as follows,鈥� he has now replied. 鈥淎t the point in The Universe in a Nutshell where the concept of imaginary time is used to explain the origin of the universe, I realised that by introducing the concept of imaginary understanding one could explain the origin of this book. Unfortunately, it later transpired that, as with the extra dimensions of M-theory, my new-found dimension of imaginary understanding was curled up very small 鈥� about as thick as two short Planck lengths. In a nutshell, this is not a book for the P-braned.鈥�
Recursive malapropism
MARK HODSON wants to know if he has stumbled on the only possible example of a recursive malapropism, or whether there are others. A colleague who he wishes to call Laura, to spare her blushes, found herself supernumerary to a particular task. She was heard to say 鈥淚 think I鈥檓 erroneous here鈥�. Which she wasn鈥檛 until she said it, but then she was, so she wasn鈥檛.
Are there any other situations or phrases that do this? (Lying Cretans don鈥檛 count, because there鈥檚 no malapropism involved.)
Happy New Year
FINALLY, Feedback wishes you all a merry festive season and a happy New Year. Thanks to the thousands of readers who have written to us during 2004. We鈥檙e sorry there aren鈥檛 enough hours in the week to reply to you all individually.
We return on 8 January with our New Year competition results.
If you type 鈥減icogram鈥� into recent versions of Microsoft Word, it is changed by default to 鈥減ictogram鈥�. Is this, Galen Ives asks, evidence of some anti-science, post-literate bias?