QUICK, tell the IT department! From now on, their job is going to be so much easier. In her book The Power is Within You, Louise Hay proposes a novel way to solve computer problems: 鈥淚 remember a time when we were having many problems with our computer system, and every day something would break down. Because I believe machines reflect our consciousness, I realised that many of us were sending negative energy to the computers and we were expecting them to constantly break down. I had an affirmation programmed into the computer, 鈥楪ood Morning, how are you today? I work well when I am loved. I love you.鈥� In the morning when everyone turned on their computers, that message would appear. It鈥檚 amazing how we had no more problems with our computers.鈥�
Amazing indeed.
Advertisement
NOT in my backyard, not in my state, not in my seas. On 16 March the US Senate voted to allow oil companies to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska. This was achieved by tagging the measure onto a vote on the federal budget. Even so, it was close: 51 to 49.
A single senator, Florida Republican Mel Martinez, swung the result by trading his vote in return for a five-year extension of a moratorium on drilling for oil in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of Florida. President Bush was said to be delighted.
Martinez has protected the sea off his state at the expense of a wilderness that is home to 200 species including polar bear, musk ox and caribou. 鈥淭he US has declared that SUVs are more important than polar bears鈥�, commented Halifax Live, an online Canadian paper.
AND here鈥檚 one of those dedicated pieces of research for which New 杏吧原创 readers are so renowned. John Blyth was feeling bored so he started a Google search by adding a reduplicative syllable to the word banana, and then another, and then another.
He got about 9,450,000 hits for banana itself, about 3960 for bananana, about 2840 for banananana, about 1530 for bananananana, and so on down to two for bananananananananananana-nanananananananananananananana, at which point he found he was bored again and stopped.
What does this research show? It shows that there is a large number of very bored people out there.
FEEDBACK has always been a sucker for high-tech catalogues. They tell us a lot about the odd things some people apparently want to buy. A recent 鈥淏ig Boys Toys鈥� brochure from electronics chain Maplin featured a 鈥渇ull function calculator with a dark secret鈥� for 拢20. The calculator comes with a pair of wireless headphones. Put the calculator on a conference table, or living room table, go into another room and listen on the headphones to whatever is being said.
Then for 拢5 there鈥檚 a remote control jammer. Press the button on this tiny box and it emits infrared signals that stop any other remote controls in the room working. So once the TV is tuned in to football, it stays there regardless of what anyone else wants to watch.
And then there is a whole gaggle of 鈥渟hocking鈥� gizmos. A pen, cigarette lighter and roulette wheel all have one thing in common: they contain a hidden electric shock coil. The pen, which is 鈥済reat fun for the office鈥�, gives a shock when you press the top; the lighter delivers a belt when you light the flame; and the roulette wheel rewards the unlucky loser with a nasty surprise.
A warning comes with each of these shocking big boys鈥� toys: 鈥淭his is not a toy 鈥� do not play if you suffer from epilepsy, a heart condition or any similar related illness.鈥�
鈥淎lan Lane writes to tell us that the doors on the suburban trains in Melbourne, Australia, carry a sticker reading: 鈥淧ower operated doors. When tone sounds, open doors by hand鈥濃��
Better still, do not play at all. And be very wary of anyone in the home, pub or office who casually asks you about epilepsy or heart disease, or generously offers a free calculator.
JEREMY CONDLIFFE has been mulling over a statement that he thinks might be an example of deep esoteric wisdom. For some time he has been drawn to the bizarre arrangements of words that spammers pepper their messages with to foil firewalls. Recently, he came across what he considers the most thought-provoking yet: 鈥淎nd what is a fear, but a marbled grasshopper?鈥�
It is, as he says, something to ponder all day.
FOLLOWING our revelation that dark matter is for sale on eBay (19 March), Felix von Reiswitz reports that the good folks of eBay have also cracked the secret of staying young. A search in Google for 鈥淓ternal Youth鈥� reveals an eBay ad for 鈥淟ow Priced Eternal Youth, Big Selection!鈥�. Von Reiswitz has decided to order his early 20s again.
Redundant translation syndrome
FINALLY, Peter Shaw thinks he may have come across the first example of redundant translation syndrome. He was watching a tennis match on television when the commentator said of a player: 鈥淚f this guy wants to win he鈥檚 going to have to seize the carpe diem.鈥�