IF YOU want to stop global warming, extend daytime hours, and create a more homogeneous climate by putting planet Earth into a new orbit, put this exact time in your diary: 20 July 2006 at 11:39:13 GMT. It says at that these benefits can be achieved by you 鈥� yes, you 鈥� jumping at that instant. 鈥溞影稍磗 from the ISA/M眉nchen confirm,鈥� we are told, 鈥渢hat the planet Earth could be driven out of its current orbital rotation. Professor Hans Niesward and his colleagues at the Department of Gravitationsphysik estimated that it would take a minimum of 600 million people on the western hemisphere鈥︹��
But hang on. There seems to be a conspiracy of silence here. Professor Niesward and the entire 鈥淚SA/M眉nchen鈥� appear to have been removed from the web. Who could be responsible? John Williams, who alerted us to this, says it 鈥渕ade him laugh鈥�. Has he no faith?
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FEEDBACK readers are clearly an inquisitive and tenacious lot. Ruth Murray of Newcastle, UK, was investigating the service at that compares prices for various services according to where you live. 鈥淚 was told that on an electricity bill of 拢500 per year I could save 拢107.97,鈥� she tells us. She thought that 鈥減retty good鈥� for the effort of switching suppliers.
But then she wondered, as one does, what would the saving be on a bill of 拢100. It would be 拢27.40, moneynet told her. And indeed, on a bill of 拢5, the savings would be 拢8.82. Further south, we do even better. If New 杏吧原创鈥榮 annual London bill were 拢5, we could save 拢52.59.
鈥淕regory Skinner stumbled on the 鈥淐iao! shopping intelligence鈥� review of the Canon BJC 85 printer. This tells us that: 鈥淭he printer is tiny 鈥� about a 12-inch ruler long by half a 12-inch ruler wide鈥濃��
If nuclear-generated electricity was supposed to be 鈥渢oo cheap to meter鈥�, what鈥檚 this?
IT SEEMS the good folk at Apple, California, don鈥檛 realise quite how far technology has spread around the world. When John Noble was working with emails on his Mac he discovered that 鈥渆mail鈥� isn鈥檛 in the dictionary, which he had set to what the Apple people call 鈥淏ritish English鈥�. But if he sets his dictionary to plain 鈥淓nglish鈥� (in other words, American), 鈥渆mail鈥� is there.
PHYSICISTS tell us that time travel is possible 鈥� but where are the time travellers? None showed up at a convention earlier this year at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (Feedback, 21 May), suggesting perhaps that party invitations aren鈥檛 enough to lure them. How about turning to tried-and-tested capitalism and offering them hard cash?
That鈥檚 the idea behind the Time Travel Fund (), which promises to invest a small sum in a safe place and let the miracle of compound interest turn it into a fortune over the next 500 years or so. All you have to do is promise to turn over the resulting mountain of money to any time traveller who comes back to our time and transports you forward to theirs. Perhaps, the site says, you could be snatched from the present seconds before your death, then returned to health in the future when medicine has progressed as much as time travel. By science-fiction standards it鈥檚 fairly convincing.
Whether to actually invest is another matter. The sign-up page admits that results are not guaranteed. 鈥淟ife itself is a crap shoot. We can only make plans and hope for the best.鈥� Membership is $10, but only $1 will go into the fund. Another dollar pays for legal expenses and the rest is the price of a certificate acknowledging your participation. But it鈥檚 a bargain compared with what you鈥檇 pay for naming a star or buying Martian real estate.
FROM the department of having it both ways. Ken Hawkins found this in the instructions for a Bush portable DVD player: 鈥淲hen the battery pack is fully charged, the battery pack charge indicator will turn green. Note: Because of the characteristics of lithium-ion batteries, when the battery pack charge indicator turns green it does not mean the battery pack is fully charged.鈥�
BROMSGROVE in the English county of Worcestershire rejoices in a bypass road. One of its roundabouts has, according to a road sign, been subject to 鈥淎ccident improvement roadworks鈥�. Graham Dodd tells us that Mrs Dodd, though 鈥渘ot normally greatly amused by my pedantry, has been interested to know one can now have a better accident鈥�.
THE Mattress Doctor in-home mattress-cleaning process is intended to remove dust-mites and skin flakes. Stage 1 involves an ultrasound vacuum cleaner and Stage 2 sterilising the mattress with UVC radiation. And, according to the promotional flyer that Ros Bell kindly sent us, Stage 3 is spraying the mattress with 鈥渁 unique, chemical-free formulation鈥�. That, as she observes, will be unique indeed. What鈥檚 in it, then?
FINALLY, after many months of wrangling with management, Salim Khan was delighted to learn that space would be created for a cafeteria for his office. Except that the opening date had to be postponed, as management announced in an email that concluded: 鈥淲e are very sorry for any incontinence that it may cause.鈥�
Khan and his colleagues are now re-thinking the whole cafeteria idea.