MICE may look cute, but their habits can be somewhat unpleasant. Novice mouse-handlers are often horrified to find that their furry charges have set upon and eaten 鈥� or just terminally nibbled 鈥� one of their cage-mates. That is probably what happened to the three mice that went missing last month from the Public Health Research Institute, a venerable research laboratory in New Jersey. However, horror of horrors, the mice in question were infected with Yersinia pestis, the bacterium that causes bubonic plague, so newspapers were soon full of scare stories about 鈥減lague mice鈥� loose in New Jersey.
We would like to reassure our New Jersey readers that they are unlikely to be in much danger. At least two of the mice are believed to have died before they went missing and were probably eaten by cage-mates. If one live mouse succeeded in escaping its cannibalistic companions, it would not have got far. Mice die in days from just a small dose of Y. pestis which, incidentally, is already a widespread infection in such American rodents as the extremely cute prairie dog. And in the unlikely event that a would-be bioterrorist had stolen the mice with a view to culturing a weapon, they would find they were onto a loser, as the bacterium yields readily to antibiotics.
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We were, however, struck by another aspect of this story. The mice were being used to test a new vaccine, in a trial comparing it with another vaccine and a placebo. An experienced lab such is this would doubtless use the most rigorous available protocol for such testing. The unavoidable conclusion is that the fuss is all about three double-blind mice.
A RARE opportunity to use some German in the column. We recently asked for names to describe a project, like the Millau Bridge in France, that is so hugely successful that it completely negates its original objective (17 September). John Cummins tells us that the German word Schlimmbesserung means 鈥渁n improvement that makes things worse鈥�, which is just about right. And S. J. Courtney has coined Zeitgeldundauskunftsmittelsvernichtung, which he says means 鈥渁 complete waste of time, money and resources鈥�. Not quite the same thing, but we still like the word.
Thanks also to Rob Davis who returns to England and suggests 鈥淢25鈥�, the designation of the London orbital motorway built to relieve congestion, which has attracted so much traffic that it is invariably congested.
Philosophy and spaghetti sauce
KEEN to discover the difference between the two varieties of Knorr Ragu spaghetti sauce 鈥� 鈥淥riginal鈥� and 鈥淭raditional鈥� 鈥� conscientious shopper Pete Barrett called Knorr鈥檚 UK customer helpline. The consumer adviser answering the phone explained that they were two different flavours. Barrett asked her to describe the two flavours. After a couple of minutes of on-hold music he was told: 鈥淪orry, I cannot describe the difference in flavour because your taste will be different from mine.鈥�
鈥淗ow could she discover this in just two minutes?鈥� Barrett wants to know. We suggest that she probably called the emergency philosophy hotline to confirm that it is a standard assumption when discussing perception.
LAST week, Matt Walker鈥檚 鈥淐omment and analysis鈥� column warned against regarding penguins as role models for human beings, as it seems some evangelical Christians in the US are doing (1 October, p 17). Feedback has just come across further reason to back up this warning. Penguins, it transpires, are among nature鈥檚 super-poopers, with some species able to expel their thick, white-to-pink faeces with such force that they land up to 40 centimetres away. To do that, the penguin must generate internal pressures of up to 60 kilopascals, which is more than four times the peak squeeze typically exerted by humans.
Let鈥檚 hope than no one is taking their admiration for all things penguin to the point of advocating such projectile excretion for people.
鈥淔rom the department of crass euphemisms. Naomi Lorimer reports coming across this on the 鈥淧harmaCALogy鈥� website: 鈥淪eizures are very dangerous for a pregnant woman and her intra-uterine contents鈥濃��
ANOTHER example of a helpful computer making things worse. A friend of Michael Vnuk received a letter from the Australian Taxation Office which, in the body of the letter, advised recipients to call the telephone number 鈥�13 10 20鈥� if they needed further information. However, the same contact number at the top of the page under the address had been interpreted as a date by the software and rendered as 鈥�13 October 2020鈥�. No one at the tax office had noticed.
THANKS to David Paterson for alerting us to another surprising paper title, 鈥淎ssessment of the quality of copulation partners in the monogamous bearded tit鈥� by Herbert Hoi, Animal Behaviour, vol 53, p 277.
FINALLY, continuing our reports of road signs that make you go 鈥淓h?鈥�, Richard King tells us of the classic French sign 鈥淭outes directions鈥� pointing rightward on a provincial town鈥檚 ring-road 鈥� next to one pointing left saying 鈥淎utres directions鈥�. Concerned that selecting an 鈥渙ther鈥� direction rather than 鈥渁ll鈥� directions would end up in 鈥渟ome strange French existential limbo鈥�, King did the sensible thing and turned right.