BET you didn鈥檛 know this about algae. Gillian McKeith in her book Miracle Superfood: Wild blue-green algae tells us: 鈥淪ome algae enthusiasts believe that if you eat blue-green algae on a regular basis, you will connect with something essential and ancient. Richard France, a macrobiotic counselor, states it is not inconceivable that on subtle vibrational levels, unique genetic memories and messages of harmony and peace are stored in algae, which have grown undisturbed for aeons in a pristine environment. This information may be passed on to us at a cellular level, encouraging harmony among our own cellular family.鈥�
Isn鈥檛 that nice? And there鈥檚 more. McKeith also claims that the algae 鈥渕ay even have special vibrational fields. Dr Gabriel Cousins describes it as subtle, organised energy fields. These vibrational energy fields are the life forces of the algae, which he believes have the ability to regenerate mind, body and immune forces.鈥�
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Howard Wright, who brought all this to Feedback鈥檚 attention, notes the use of certain words here that seem to be irresistible to purveyors of new-age 鈥渕edicine鈥�. Top among these are 鈥渧ibration鈥� and 鈥渆nergy鈥�, with 鈥渓ife force鈥� not far behind. If you spot these words cropping up together, you can bet someone is trying to sell you something you probably don鈥檛 need. In this case, it鈥檚 a company called Klamath promoting McKeith鈥檚 book on its website and selling bottles of 60 blue-green algae tablets at $17.95 a throw.
HERE is an example of the kind of humour that may well endear the UK鈥檚 academics to each other, but perhaps less so to the rest of the population.
The University of Glasgow is in the process of electing a new chancellor. There are two candidates, Neil McCormick and Kenneth Calman. A member of the university electorate has obligingly leaked us a copy of the ballot paper for the election, which names the two candidates and gives voters the following instruction:
鈥淩ecord in rank order your preferences among the candidates, numbering the first preference 鈥�1鈥�, the second preference 鈥�2鈥� for such number of candidates as you prefer, using integers only, repeating no integer, and omitting no integer between 鈥�1鈥� and the largest integer used.鈥�
Whoops, there goes another rib鈥r perhaps not.
THE syllabus for the OCR Physics GCSE exam that many British 16-year-olds sat last summer specified that students should learn that 鈥淣ot even light can escape from a black hole鈥�. Someone must have mentioned Hawking radiation to the examiners, surmises David Sang. What else can explain the demand in the 2005/2006 syllabus that students must be able to 鈥淒escribe that a hot even light can escape from a black hole鈥�?
OCR, by the way, is the merger of three examination boards and stands for 鈥淥xford, Cambridge and RSA鈥�, the last being the Royal Society of Arts 鈥� so, to the extent that it鈥檚 pronounceable, it鈥檚 a rare example outside the computer world of an acronym within an acronym.
A COLLEAGUE has found a website offering live penguins for sale by mail order at . Given current interest in penguins and their supposedly admirable way of life, we were intrigued. But a scan of the site quickly raises doubts about exactly what is going on.
鈥淕iles Hogben and his colleagues at their office in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, were intrigued when a notice appeared on one of the doors saying 鈥淯se this door only when entering/exiting鈥濃��
For example, one section of the site lists the top 10 reasons to adopt a penguin. These are: 鈥�1. The perfect conversation piece for parties. 2. Make great foot-warmers. 3. Lovely lawn ornament. 4. Man鈥檚 true best friend. 5. Good dancing partner. 6. Bring South Pole home! 7. Come fully dressed in their own tuxedo. 8. Rid house of pesky krill. 9. Good Christmas decorations. 10. Have you SEEN a penguin?鈥�
Sure enough, anyone seriously interested in buying a penguin is in for a disappointment. An urban legends site reveals that is in fact a website design exercise put together by one James Knickelbein. See .
Department of creative English
MORE from the department of creative English. A colleague recently bought a low-voltage battery-powered carpet sweeper. The instruction manual helpfully offers nearly 50 separate safety warnings, including the advice not to rebuild the appliance 鈥渨ith yourself鈥�, not to switch on the appliance 鈥渨ithout any person nearby鈥�, not to use it 鈥渘ear the tinder鈥�, 鈥渄o not spout the water鈥�, and so on. It culminates with the warning: 鈥淒o not use the appliance if you are a children or a deformity.鈥�
Tear in the space-time continuum?
FINALLY, Anne Hopkirk is worried that something strange is afoot in Scotland 鈥� specifically, in Edinburgh city centre. 鈥淚t may be that there is a tear in the time-space continuum,鈥� she says, 鈥渁s there is a notice in the St James鈥檚 Centre car park which reads 鈥楾wo cars must leave before one can enter鈥�.鈥�
Given that this car park presumably started life empty and is probably empty most nights, one can understand Hopkirk鈥檚 concern.