GILLIAN Coates tells us of the questionnaire she was asked to fill in when she bought a Morphy Richards Turbojet steam iron the other day. Question 10 asked her 鈥淲hich factor most influenced your decision to buy a new appliance? (Please tick one)鈥�. Among fairly sensible possibilities such as 鈥淓xisting appliance broken鈥� and 鈥淪etting up home鈥� was the thoroughly bemusing choice number 8 鈥� 鈥淲anting to eat more healthily鈥�.
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THIS notice appeared on the University of Newcastle upon Tyne press office website: 鈥淎 lecture to mark World Mental Health Day: 鈥楳alignant sadness 鈥� the anatomy of depression鈥�, by Professor Lewis Wolpert. Note: This lecture has been cancelled.鈥�
Tony Corless, who came across this, comments: 鈥淥ne assumes that the very distinguished lecturer thought about the lecture, the likely weather, the train journey鈥nd just couldn鈥檛 face it.鈥�
WHO would have thought it? In the November issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers have published the first-ever prospective, double-blind, placebo-controlled, multi-institutional treatment study with multi-dimensional psychometrically valid outcomes and concluded that an effective erectile dysfunction treatment in men also significantly improved sexual function and sexual satisfaction in untreated women partners.
TRUNCATED email subject lines have entertained many readers, but they鈥檙e a bit鈥ne-dimensional. It鈥檚 appropriate, then, that it is the cinema that takes us to the next level. Feedback was browsing 鈥� one great advantage of this job is that the boss complains if we don鈥檛 spend enough time randomly surfing at work 鈥� and spotted a photo of a movie theatre marquee in Beaverton, Oregon: 鈥�40-year-old penguin exorcism鈥�.
鈥淭he bottle of Ampleforth Abbey cider that Alasdair Rogers bought told him reassuringly that it was 鈥淢ade from biologically grown apples鈥濃��
We think that鈥檚 the truncated titles of three separate films, not a report of the fate of a demonically possessed middle-aged sphenisciform Though perhaps, given the interest shown by the religious in the wildlife documentary March of the Penguins, it would make a decent sequel.
THE door between the canteen and a side room at a reader鈥檚 workplace was recently locked, with a note attached to it declaring that it was 鈥渢emporally restricted鈥�. The reader wonders whether it was being upgraded to remove this restriction and permit time travel. The fact that this canteen is at the UK鈥檚 Atomic Weapons Establishment may or may not be relevant.
READING our piece about emordnilap words 鈥� words that form a new word when spelt backwards, such as 鈥渟wap鈥� and 鈥減aws鈥� (1 October) 鈥� gave Paul Dove the idea that backwardly spelled words could be coined for reversed or inverted actions. For example, levitating an object from the ground into your hand could be to 鈥減ord鈥� it.
Unlike such an improbable event, however, Dove鈥檚 favourite word of this type describes something that he says he often finds himself doing. 鈥淜nilb鈥� 鈥� pronounced with a silent k 鈥� is his word for briefly opening your eyes and then closing them again, maybe to check when you wake if it is time to get up yet.
Leading aircraftmen and patriarchs
FOLLOWING the list of 57 possible titles to put before your name on the BUPA International website (Feedback, 6 August), Mark Cooksey tells us that the 鈥渆-tax鈥� software used to submit an electronic tax return in Australia gives you 116 to choose from, including 鈥淐anon鈥�, 鈥淟eading Aircraftman鈥� and 鈥淧atriarch鈥�. They must think they have them all covered, Cooksey says, as there is no 鈥淥ther鈥� box. This means, unfortunately, that people whose title is 鈥淎mbassador鈥�, 鈥淧resident鈥�, 鈥淧rime Minister鈥� or 鈥淧ope鈥� will be unable to correctly submit their tax returns by this method.
FINALLY, don鈥檛 forget to send in your entries to our end-of-year competition. This year鈥檚 theme revolves around current advances in biotechnology. 鈥淒esigner bodies鈥� are becoming more and more possible, so how would you modify the human body if you were not restricted in any way?
You may send in up to three suggestions by email, post or fax; the ones judged the most witty and original will win. All replies must reach us by Monday 5 December and the results will be published in our end-of-year issue (24 December/31 December). The editor鈥檚 decision, as always, is final.
Thanks to the generosity of the Royal Society, 10 lucky winners will each receive copies of all six books shortlisted for the Royal Society鈥檚 Aventis Prize for Science Books 2005.
They are:
The 2005 prize winner:
Critical Mass: How one thing leads to another by Philip Ball (William Heinemann)
The Ancestor鈥檚 Tale by Richard Dawkins (Weidenfeld & Nicolson)
Why Life Speeds Up As You Get Older by Douwe Draaisma (Cambridge University Press)
Matters of Substance: Drugs 鈥� and why everyone鈥檚 a user by Griffith Edwards (Penguin/Allen Lane)
The Earth: An intimate history by Richard Fortey (HarperCollins)
The Human Mind by Robert Winston (Bantam Press/Transworld Publishers)
These books were all reviewed by Jon Turney (7 May, p 48). Our thanks go to Akram Najjar for the competition idea.