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Malformed Acronym Syndrome (MAD)

EUROPEAN Union funding for science projects demands, understandably enough, that applicants put together a collaboration involving more than one member state. Feedback has not actually seen the additional rule that you must assemble a cute and vaguely acronymic name for your collaboration, but we deduce that it must exist somewhere in the regulations for so-called Sixth Framework funding.

For example, New 杏吧原创鈥s Brussels bureau forwards the announcement that 鈥渢he Max Delbr眉ck Center for Molecular Medicine (MDC) Berlin-Buch, Germany, and five small and medium enterprises have initiated [a] research project entitled the 鈥楻ole of Ubiquitin and Ubiquitin-like Modifiers in Cellular Regulation鈥, or RUBICON for short.鈥

They crossed some line here, that鈥檚 for sure. Shouldn鈥檛 that be RUUMCR or at least RUbiCR? Our limited German doesn鈥檛 get us any further 鈥 鈥淶ellularen Regelung鈥 doesn鈥檛 help 鈥 and an attempt at forming a backronym from the letters got as far as 鈥淩ole of Ubiquitin and Broadly-similar-things In Cellular On-off-turning鈥 before mercifully drowning.

Most of the other projects funded under the Sixth Framework have similarly cute almost-acronyms; there must be a role here for an acronym consultancy. It could perhaps draw on the pool of talent for this that exists among British librarians, who notoriously can鈥檛 resist playing the acronym game. Feedback鈥檚 favourite was their Follett Implementation Group on Information Technology, presumably so named solely because it gave the acronym FIGIT (see Feedback, 8 March 2003).

鈥淭he Bulletin board software for online debate is now requesting Matthew Bartram to 鈥淧lease contact the Administrator if your date of birth has changed鈥濃

No, please don鈥檛 submit other examples of Malformed Acronym Syndrome (MAD). Send them direct to the Sixth Framework Unambiguous Moniker And Tagging Organisation (SFUMATO) 鈥 but not before we get the all-clear from our European partners.

Animal literacy

THE instruction to sheep seen by Matthew Willey in the north of England鈥檚 Yorkshire Sculpture Park 鈥 鈥淟ivestock: Please Close the Gate鈥 (13 May) 鈥 prompted several other readers to ponder the topic of animal literacy. Gary Humble, for example, points out that it is one thing to tell animals to do something, but quite another to get them to do it. Hence the signs he has often seen in country areas around the Murray river in Australia that say: 鈥淪tock on roads obey signs鈥.

Philip Crohn, meanwhile, recently passed a sign on a gate saying 鈥淟arge savage dogs enter at own risk鈥. Since there was no evidence of any large savage dogs beyond the gate, he presumes they had wisely decided to err on the side of caution, and stay out.

It takes years off itself

READING the information leaflet attached to a Diprobase skin cream dispenser, Rob Gill came across a curiosity. After telling him about storage, side effects and what to do if he forgets to use the cream, came this declaration: 鈥淒ate of preparation 鈥 July 1996 (UK), June 1998 (Ireland)鈥.

Gill observes that it is quite common for the makers of skin creams to claim that their products take years off the age of your skin, but Diprobase appears to be unusual in taking years off the age of the skin cream, depending on where you live.

Sue when you鈥檙e dead

WHEN reader Michael Bland was refreshing his memory on the details of his car insurance policy, he was somewhat perplexed to discover an item that read: 鈥淲e will pay the costs of your taking any legal action as a result of any road accident which causes the following: Your death or injury while you are in, or getting in or out of the insured vehicle鈥︹

25-hour days?

THE promotional flyer that Alex Croll received from Universal Telecom offers 鈥渦nlimited calls 24/7鈥 on the basis that for a modest fee customers could 鈥渃all 24/7 to all fixed numbers in the UK for 拢0 per minute鈥. Not only that. 鈥淒uring all other times you will benefit from the low rates in our standard rate plan.鈥

Mowing the carpet

THERE seem to be some strange goings-on in Austrian homes. The electric lawnmowers that Neil Gillespie saw on display at a large hardware store in Vienna are sold with cables labelled as being suitable only for indoor use. Surely a little extravagant, as it鈥檚 hard to see why you鈥檇 want to trim the carpet more than once.

HIF-1, FIH-1 and FIHIF

FINALLY, we are not even going to try to name the combination of kinds of word-play in this tale from Christopher Binny. Those who work, as his lab does, on mammalian cells will know well the protein called hypoxia-inducible factor 1 (HIF-1). The lab鈥檚 recent contribution is the isolation of a protein that down-regulates the production of HIF-1. So one of the team dubbed it FIH-1, inverting the name to go with its inverted action.

But FIH also stands for 鈥渇actor inhibiting HIF-1鈥. Which is of course a nested acronym. And finally, if you expand the nested acronym you get 鈥淔actor Inhibiting Hypoxia Inducible Factor鈥 鈥 FIHIF, a palindrome.

What, we wonder, will they call the protein that inhibits FIH, when they find it?

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