IN THE British TV show The Avengers, the story often unfolded on a mysterious military research base. The spooky work going on in sinister buildings was cloaked in a disguise of false normality by scenic English countryside, a local pub, a church and farmland. Avengers buffs might like to know that just such a place exists in real life and you can visit it. It鈥檚 not secret; the authorities just don鈥檛 talk about it.
The windswept island of Foulness, off the muddy Essex coast, has been used as a firing range for at least 100 years. It is now owned by the Ministry of Defence and used for explosives research by its spin-off company, Qinetiq. Farmers are allowed on the island, to keep it from going wild. A church and pub cater for their needs. Flocks of rare birds have learned to ignore the sound of explosions and breed prolifically.
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Phoning the MoD and Qinetiq for advice on birdwatching is a frustrating experience. Taking a bus to the island is not much use because you cannot get off, but a loophole in the regulations allows you to visit the island by car and to use binoculars: all you need do is advance-book a lunch at the George and Dragon pub. Feedback did so and was duly rewarded with a pass to get through the armed guard and over the drawbridge.
鈥淒riving along an English country road, David Purchase came across a sign saying 鈥淏eware, underground cables鈥�. He still doesn鈥檛 know what he was expected to do about them鈥�
Birdwatching among huts surrounded by blast walls and signs that cheerily warn 鈥渄o not approach or touch any object or debris, it may explode and kill you鈥� is a sobering experience. Back in the office, what we are still trying to work out is how the MoD and Qinetiq have managed to make satellite navigation systems blank out all details of the island the moment the car goes over the bridge.
Perhaps Steed and Mrs Peel could find out for us.
READERS who have been interested in New 杏吧原创鈥榮 discussion of 鈥渄isease mongering鈥� 鈥� the invention of new diseases in order to push up drug sales (15 April, p 5) 鈥� may like to take up Steven Allen鈥檚 suggestion of a visit to . Here you can read about Panexa, 鈥渁 prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion鈥�.
The drug is also recommended for people suffering from 鈥渃oronary heart condition (CHC) or two separate feet (2SF)鈥�, and it can be utilised to decrease the risk of death caused 鈥渂y not taking Panexa鈥� or by 鈥渃omplications arising from seeing too much of the colour lavender鈥�.
A word of caution, though. Before you 鈥渁sk your doctor for a reason to take it鈥�, you are advised to check out the section on possible side effects. These include 鈥渞eally geeky laughs鈥�, 鈥渧aluable faeces composed of aluminium and studded with diamonds and sapphires鈥� and 鈥渟udden enjoyment of really bad music鈥�.
The superjumbo and the ping-pong balls
THIS week鈥檚 鈥渦nusual units of measurement鈥� award goes to Martin Symington for his 13 May story in The Times, London, about the new Airbus superjumbo. Not content with just peppering his whole piece with unusual units, he manages to include the following in his summary at the end, which Adam Lawrence has kindly copied to us:
鈥淔ully laden, the Airbus A380 holds 310,000 litres of fuel, enough to fill 21 road tankers鈥he aircraft鈥檚 interior volume is 1570 cubic metres, the equivalent of 44 million ping-pong balls鈥emoving all the seats from both decks would provide enough space for 10 squash courts鈥 freighter version, the A380F, will carry 150 tonnes of cargo 鈥� about the same as a herd of 57 fully grown Asian elephants鈥he temperature in the engines reaches 2800 掳C, half that of the sun鈥檚 surface鈥he take-off thrust is the equivalent of about 2500 family cars.鈥�
Could it be that Symington is striving to tell us that the plane is quite large and powerful?
MAKING a deposit at the Australia and New Zealand Bank using its over-the-counter deposit slip, Mark Hallinan was surprised to see that the bank had allocated 10 boxes for writing in the digits of the total deposit. He wonders how many customers the bank expects to deposit, for example, A$9,999,999,999 over the counter. Then again, perhaps the bank expects this slip to be in print for a very long time.
FINALLY, several readers were impressed by New 杏吧原创鈥榮 item about the biologists who 鈥渕anaged to get into鈥� Bwindi Impenetrable National Park, Uganda, in order to study the gorillas there (6 May, p 20). Richard Horton, for example, awaits news of the renaming of the park to the Bwindi Almost-Impenetrable National Park.