IF YOUR child regularly talks to someone you cannot see, plays with them and drops their name into conversation, don鈥檛 worry, it鈥檚 not an early sign of a personality disorder. It鈥檚 something to be encouraged, according to researchers in the UK and US. Children who have imaginary friends appear to develop faster both psychologically and linguistically.
An imaginary friend can take many forms. They can be a dog, a child, an adult or a fantastical creature. Alternatively, a child might endow a physical object such as a stuffed toy with a personality, or the child herself might take on a different persona. In western cultures, where characters like Harry Potter and Superman abound, a child might take on the persona of a superhero, whereas in more traditional cultures they might assume various roles in an imaginary family. Whatever the form it takes, the child treats their imaginary friend as real.
How do these friends help children develop? Work by Marjorie Taylor, a psychologist at the University of Oregon in Eugene, suggests that children who indulge in pretend play with imaginary friends develop a theory of mind earlier than those who don鈥檛 鈥� that is, they learn more quickly that others have beliefs, desires and intentions that are different from their own. Other researchers have found that 4 to 8-year-olds with imaginary friends produce more complex sentences than children of the same age without them. Meanwhile, psychologists Evan Kidd and Anna Roby of the University of Manchester, UK, have unpublished data indicating that children with imaginary friends are better at furnishing other people with the information they need to make a decision 鈥� in other words, at viewing a problem from another person鈥檚 standpoint. Kidd believes that the imaginary friend acts as a bridge, easing the egocentric toddler into a wider, more complex mental space.
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Taylor estimates that as many as 65 per cent of children up to the age of 7 have had an imaginary friend at one time or other. Which children are most likely to have one? Only and firstborn children are good candidates, perhaps because in their early years they lack a real playmate. Girls are more likely to invent an invisible other, while boys prefer to transform themselves.
In most cases, the imaginary friend vanishes by the time the child is 8 or 9, either because it is socially unacceptable at school, or because it is replaced by real ones. One boy Kidd interviewed was taken to a funeral and the next day, having discovered a useful device for disposing of people, he announced the death and burial of the old lady who had been his imaginary companion. More often, though, the imaginary friend just goes away one day, never to return.
