MANY of Feedbackās UK readers, it transpires, have their electricity supplied by Southern Electric ā and,not being ones to miss a trick, they have been quick to email us about a claim in the companyās recent customer service leaflet. Here, under the headline āWork wonders in a weekendā, customers are advised: āUnplug your mobile phone charger. These little black boxes suck 100 kilowatt-hours a day from your socket, even when your phone is fully charged.ā
This, Kate Mount points out, means that mobile phone chargers belonging to Southern Electric customers must be rated at over 4 kilowatts ā and that, we canāt resist adding, is enough to make a slice of toast every 30 seconds, producing a pile of toast equivalent to the length of a blue whale every day. The advice to unplug them seems sound.
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HOW large is large? Australian reader Cathy Watson keeps chickens and thus seldom buys eggs. When she was forced to buy some recently she was puzzled to find that the ālargeā eggs she had purchased appeared extremely small compared to her usual home-laid eggs.
On closer examination, she noted that: āHunter Valley Free Range Eggs come in three sizes: Large, Extra Large and Jumboā. Isnāt that clever?
IN SIMILAR vein, Graham Clarke writes from Minnesota to tell us that his local gas station does its best to make it seem that customers are getting a good product for their money, by calling the lowest grade it sells āSuper Premier Plusā. We can only guess what the higher grades are called.
THE latest edition of the University of Birminghamās magazine for alumni, Neil Holmes tells us, has this useful advice to students who are worried about their weight: āTo calculate your body mass index, divide your weight in kilograms by your height in square metres.ā
We wonder what the magazineās advice would be to students who are worried about their maths.
Whatās that weight in radios?
THANKS to Roger Calvert for letting us know that the Southern Daily Echo had this to say about the installation of a new crane in Southampton docks on the English south coast: āThe 100-tonne crane on berth 203ā¦ can lift the equivalent of 1250 large plasma TVs.ā
APOLOGIES to readers who have had enough of the Lordās Prayer and religious mondegreens (18 November), but we canāt resist one last outing for the theme. Stefan Bojczuk is another who thought he was hearing āHarold be thy nameā when the prayer was chanted ā and when Christmas came he believed he got independent corroboration of this in the words of the carol āHark! the Harold angels singā.
Similarly, a friend tells us that his mother believed as a child that God was a priest called Father Harold Witchart (āOur Father Witchart in heaven, Harold be thy nameā), a belief that was reinforced by the fact that there was a resident of her Dorset village called Mr Witchart.
Steve McGiffin, meanwhile, used to worry what would happen if God ignored his plea to ālead me not into Thames stationā. He is also one of many readers who reminded us of the old chestnut āGladly, the cross-eyed bearā: you may guess what this misinterprets. And we are sure readers will also have little difficulty in sorting out the confusion of Adam Hewittās sister who, as a child, thought Godās first name was Peter because of the phrase she misheard as āThanks, Peter Godā.
āA note spotted by Paul Spicker in the window of the Careers Scotland office in Kirkwall, Orkney, advises: āScared of computers? Download an application formāā
To finish on a funereal note, Luela Palmer thought the words she heard as a coffin was lowered into the ground were: āGlory be to the Father and to the Son, into the hole he goes.ā
New Year competition: alien txts
FINALLY: donāt forget to send in your entries to our New Year competition.
This year you are invited to imagine you are an alien newly arrived on Earth. You are able to send home an interplanetary text message of no more than 160 characters describing what you have found. What would your message be?
You may enter by email, fax or letter. All entries must reach us by Monday 11 December. The results will be published in the first issue of New ŠÓ°ÉŌ““ in 2007 (6 January). Thanks to the generosity of Profile Books, 10 lucky winners will each receive three of its most popular new titles, Four Elements: Water, Air, Fire, Earth by Rebecca Rupp; Gilbert White, a biography of the author of The Natural History of Selborne by Richard Mabey; and The End of the Question Mark, a compilation of questions and answers from the Any Questions Answered text service ā plus a copy of New ŠÓ°ÉŌ““ās very own bestseller Why Donāt Penguinsā Feet Freeze? The Editorās decision is final.