SPOTTED by Ian Lewis in the London Daily Mail鈥榮 recent report on a dead 6-metre python discovered by a path in the north of England: 鈥淏affled police are trying to find out how the fully grown reptile wound up in the village of Cloughton near Scarborough, a million miles from its natural habitat.鈥�
Time to call a xenobiologist.
Advertisement
The mind of the watch enthusiast
鈥淧RACTICALLY no information exists on the mind of the watch enthusiast鈥︹�� Ah, yes, a promising opening to a paper on consciousness studies. 鈥淚t is argued,鈥� Chris Niebauer continues in Science and Consciousness Review (16 November, 2006) 鈥渢hat a mechanical watch and the Self share several common attributes鈥� (see ).
It seems it is time to abandon all those so-last-century metaphors about the mind as a sort-of computer. But how did Niebauer arrive at this conclusion? 鈥淲ith the faint soundsof my watch collection in the background,鈥� he writes, 鈥淚 had a rather unusual thought while writing my last research paper. Perhaps the attraction to watches is related to epistemological curiosity 鈥� that is, our drive to understand who we are.鈥�
This is not mere speculation. There is an experiment. 鈥淥ver 230 [watch enthusiasts] participated in an online questionnaire measuring self-reflection, rumination and handedness鈥� with 255 introductory psychology students as a control group鈥� Watch enthusiasts were more self-reflective and less ruminating than students.鈥� Of course, as Niebauer concedes, 鈥渆ven the most novice scientist will quickly object because there are literally dozens of explanations to account for this result.鈥�
鈥淎 sachet of Tchibo Hot Chocolate powder bears the warning 鈥淐aution: contains a source of milk鈥�. Roger Calvert is reluctant to open it. He鈥檚 worried about letting the cow out, or something鈥︹��
One of them might even come from one of his other findings. His study reveals that the watch enthusiasts were more likely to have 鈥渕ixed handedness鈥� than the students, who were more likely to be right-handed.
ALERTING us to the above story, Martin Gardiner draws our attention to the institution where Niebauer is assistant professor of psychology. This is none other than Slippery Rock University and it, too, appears to be real, founded in 1889 as Slippery Rock State Normal School by James E. Morrow.
PATENT examiners have one of those jobs that requires alternating between heroic attention to detail concerning the generally mundane, enlivened by very occasional moments of excitement when something truly original comes in 鈥� and irritation at the applications submitted in green ink. They must also work in a language which bears little resemblance to natural speech, and which precludes overt expression of that irritation. But sometimes it leaks through.
Consider the formal opinion delivered by C. L. Davies, reviewing and confirming the refusal of an application for an 鈥渁rtificial force field generator鈥�. This, it was claimed, 鈥渃omprises a vibration interface which connects with the human soul centre and a targeting system which鈥� moves a desired object under the influence of the artificial field force generator.鈥�
The applicant 鈥渞efers to a vibration interface, a targeting system, targeting scanners etc,鈥� Davies writes, 鈥渂ut he does not describe what these actually are or how they are intended to function. Even if鈥� I was prepared to accept that the human soul could be harnessed in such a way to produce energy to move objects (which I am not), the specification does not describe how this could be achieved鈥︹��
You can see the whole gem of restraint at .
WANT your new gizmo in a hurry? Then if you鈥檙e buying from you can select 鈥淓xpress Delivery (48-72h)鈥� at a cost of 拢10.10. If your acquisitiveness is more relaxed you can go for 鈥淪tandard Delivery (2-3 days)鈥� for just 拢6.
Mark Speake asks whether he would be paying more simply for the delivery to be timed more accurately.
PLOP! A letter from the Lloyds TSB bank falls onto Beverley Rowe鈥檚 doormat. 鈥淚t is a self-contained communication with no further information required,鈥� Rowe tells us. 鈥淭he reverse of the page, which you would expect to be blank is not so. It contains a message 鈥楾his page is left blank deliberately.鈥� This is a self-falsifying proposition.鈥�
FINALLY, Feedback is still not interested in hearing new examples of nominative determinism. Oh no. So clearly you are not reading this observation, sent by Tony Collins and many others, that the World Health Organization spokesman advocating the circumcision of adult men to reduce transmission of HIV is Doctor De Kock. Which is what he wants done.
Nor will we pass on Adrian Smith鈥檚 observation that a course on functional morphology of marine organisms is offered at the Shoals Marine Laboratory on Appledore Island, Maine, by Dr Fish.