DROUGHT in Australia, huge fires in California and floods in England. It was another year of extreme weather. Of course, none of these events is proof that the world is warming, but they certainly look like harbingers of climate change. The world may be getting warmer, but it certainly isn鈥檛 any cosier.
Dyed-in-the-wool climate deniers will doubtless still be arguing that sea levels are falling even as the waters start lapping at their ankles. But if 2006 saw climate change firmly established on the political agenda, this year saw the first political fallout, when parched Australian voters finally got fed up with their epic drought.
Climate was a key issue in the Australian general election, which saw the defeat of the prime minister John Howard, who had been one of the world鈥檚 leading champions of the climate sceptic cause. The new Labor government lost no time in signing up to the Kyoto protocol, leaving the US isolated among the world鈥檚 developed nations.
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It鈥檚 all serious stuff, so here鈥檚 our traditional antidote to the festive season 鈥� 11 questions drawn from this year鈥檚 crop of stories in New 杏吧原创.
Flying high
1. From 2009, astronauts on the International Space Station will have a tasty new drink on the menu. What is it?
a) Water taken from the Banana river near Cape Canaveral
b) Beer 鈥� NASA鈥檚 astronauts swear by its diuretic effect
c) A cocktail of recycled human urine, sweat and rat pee
2. More than 70 million years ago the first feathered dinosaur took unsteadily to the air. How did this pioneer fly?
a) It had four wings, like a biplane
b) It could barely flap its wings, which is why it is such a common fossil
c) A feathered flap of skin between the fore and rear limbs was uncannily like a modern parachute
A little lubrication
3. The wine estates near Budapest go out of their way to encourage a black mould to grow on the cellar walls. Why is this?
a) It kills vinegar flies, which can sour even the finest vintage
b) Spraying with fungicide is impossible while storing such delicate wines
c) It keeps the cellar air fresh
4. Hangovers are an ever-present hazard at this time of year. So what do you blame the after-effects of overindulgence on?
a) Water, it鈥檚 a bad idea to rehydrate too quickly
b) Acetaldehyde
c) It must have been that foul wine they served at the office party
Seasonal sizzlers
5. Any research that casts doubt on global warming is promptly seized on by climate sceptics, including one study last year that seemed to show the surface of the oceans was cooling. Now it turns out the measurements were wrong. Why?
a) The sensors had faulty pressure gauges, so they sank into deeper and cooler water
b) The sensors failed to correct for the wetter atmosphere, itself caused by global warming
c) No one knows, but if the oceans are cooling why did the North-West Passage open this year?
6. It鈥檚 time for those New Year鈥檚 resolutions. Which of these will do most to help save the planet?
a) Reducing your intake of beef by 1 kilogram a month
b) Cutting your driving by 200 kilometres a month
c) Writing your resolutions on a sheet of paper and then recycling it
Athletic endeavours
7. The triremes of ancient Greece had a phenomenal turn of speed. The ships could travel at 8 knots for 16 hours or more, yet modern replicas can鈥檛 keep up this speed for more than a minute. How did the ancients achieve this?
a) The pine resin used to seal the trireme鈥檚 wine flagons contained thiamine, which boosted the oarsmen鈥檚 muscle power
b) The streamlined design of the ships鈥� battering rams, attributed to the sea god Poseidon
c) In those days men were gods, and with much more powerful muscles the oarsmen outperformed modern athletes
8. Sports administrators clamping down on performance-enhancing drugs face a problem, as the next generation of substances promises to be virtually undetectable. What is it?
a) Ginseng, when suitably diluted, is a homeopathic stimulant
b) A placebo
c) The steroid THG, which cannot be detected by most existing tests
Miscellany
9. Astrologists say people born under the sign of Cancer, like George W. Bush, are touchy, arrogant and dogmatic. And that鈥檚 just their good points. So what trait do scientists say Cancerians have?
a) A good grasp of geography
b) They tend to be climate sceptics
c) They are more likely to be dyslexic
10. At this time of year, people living under the wintry skies of Europe and North America look enviously towards the sunny southern hemisphere. Why is a little sunbathing good for you?
a) It melts cellulite, making liposuction more effective
b) It helps to ward off skin cancer
c) It isn鈥檛 healthy at all, it just feels that way
Bananas are the tastiest of snacks for an orang-utan. So how do our smart relatives convey their innermost desires?
a) They draw a picture of a banana with a stick in the sand
b) They are mime artists, signing 鈥渂ananas鈥� with all the expertise of the late Marcel Marceau
c) They throw a tantrum, knowing that someone will produce a banana just to shut them up
How you scored
The scoring system works on the principle of Snakes and Ladders. You get 10 points for every right answer, you lose 10 points for every wrong answer. So if you score more than zero you have a good excuse for another modest celebration.
Answers
1.c, 2.a, 3.c. 4.b, 5.a, 6.a, 7.c, 8.b, 9.c, 10.b.
Picture question: b