THIS week鈥檚 thought-provoking paper title, submitted by Martin Gardner, is 鈥淔rom computer to compost鈥�. It鈥檚 not about new regulations on recycling dead electronics, or even about the thoughts that consumers have when their electronic devices keep crashing.
It is published in the journal Theory & Psychology () and, according to the abstract, it 鈥渋ntroduces the compost heap as a metaphor for autobiographical memory鈥�. How does it do that, then? It 鈥渃onsiders four entailments of the compost heap analogy that may serve, very roughly, as counterparts to such concepts as encoding, storage, and retrieval. They are: laying it on, breaking it down, stirring it up, and mixing it in.鈥�
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We did have a punchline to all this, but various parts of our memory seem to have broken down, overheated, caught fire and decayed into foetid gloop.
鈥淏EWARE of Internet Fraud Star鈥� (sic) warns an email from the 鈥淓conomical & Financial Crime Commission鈥� of Nigeria. The note boasts that the agency has locked up over 687 fraudsters and recovered over $322 million, which it plans to return to its rightful owners.
We didn鈥檛 realise Nigerian scams could be so profitable. Nor do we know why our name is on the refund list of previous victims; nor why the real Nigerian Economic and Financial Crimes Commission website mentions nothing about the repayment initiative; nor why the email came from a Hotmail account.
Emails promising to repay the supposed victims of previous scams seems to have become the latest fad among the scammers. Another email we received announces the 鈥淯nited Nations 2006/2007 scam victims compensations payments鈥� programme. It claims the UN has authorised payment of $500,000 each to the 150 people who fell for earlier Nigerian scams. Unfortunately, 36 victims remain unlocated and, once again, we are on the list.
Is it just our paranoia that keeps us from cashing in on these golden opportunities? There鈥檚 no need to worry, says an email seemingly from the US Federal Bureau of Investigation. Why is the FBI monitoring the internet and the global financial network? According to this note, it鈥檚 to check the validity of contract payments from the Central Bank of Nigeria. Apparently, an overdue contract payment of $10.7 million in our favour from Nigeria 鈥渋s 100 per cent genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay鈥� (sic).
The email thoughtfully warns that scammers send similar messages, so we should be careful to use only a certain email address and phone number for the Central Bank of Nigeria. Curiously, using a famous search engine to check the phone number and address reveals that they only show up on websites exposing scammers.
If appeals to greed don鈥檛 work, perhaps the opportunity to steal from a charity will. After all the get-rich-quick schemes, we opened an email from 鈥淯nicef Management鈥� with particular care because it too came from a Hotmail address. This one was offering us the opportunity to skim 10 per cent off donations from Unicef in our region. Pull the other one.
Perhaps the 鈥淔raud Stars鈥� are getting down to the bottom of their barrel of tricks. We have just received an invitation to join 鈥淜offibassey鈥� on Yahoo Groups, together with a promise to send us $950,000 so long as we provide all our personal details. We are left wondering what the members of that Yahoo group talk to each other about. Hopefully, it is not how they were conned by Koffi Bassey.
鈥淎 notice in the local garage where Dennis Millar gets his car serviced reads, apropos of nothing in particular: 鈥淟adders must be used at all times鈥�
JUST recently, catching up with the November 2007 issue of Which? 鈥� the UK Consumers鈥� Association magazine 鈥� Philip Harper was somewhat befuddled by its review of microwave ovens, which gives the capacity of each in 鈥渃ubic litres鈥�.
He notes that, alas, 鈥渢hey don鈥檛 provide conversions into cubic pints for we fuddy-duddies who have difficulty visualising 9-dimensional spaces in these new metric units鈥�.
Alert readers will recall a series of advertisements in New 杏吧原创 that used this same nonsensical unit of measurement in describing a certain car鈥檚 engine capacity. We are, of course, too polite to say which car, but if you guessed the car was Swedish, you wouldn鈥檛 be far wrong.
FINALLY, installing an upgrade to Adobe鈥檚 Acrobat Reader software, Neil McManus did something only a Feedback reader would do. He checked out the first of the 50 or so patents listed. , he found, was issued on 9 March 1886 for an ingenious design of towel rail.
It looks like Adobe realised the mistake. While Adobe version 7 still lists the towel rail, Adobe 8 adds a 鈥淒鈥� to the patent number: is more appropriately something to do with fonts. Shame really, we preferred the towel rail.