NASA鈥檚 ever-enthusiastic public-relations department informs us that it is launching 鈥渁 new artifact loan program鈥� so museums, planetariums and other organisations can display items that flew on the space shuttle.
If this means things like old spacesuits it could be fun, but we鈥檙e less than thrilled by the news that the first items being made available are old tyres from the shuttle鈥檚 main landing gear 鈥� and not all of these have flown in space. Why such an odd choice? Could NASA have the same problem as repair shops do 鈥� too many old tyres and no place to put them?
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WHILE enjoying a stir-fry, Alasdair Jones noticed the ingredients list on his bottle of Tesco oyster sauce: 鈥淲ater, Sugar, Colour, Cornflour, Oyster Extract (1.5 per cent)鈥�.
Underneath was a note: 鈥淥yster Extract contains: Oyster Extract, Tapioca, Starch, Salt鈥�.
Jones presumes that this oyster extract, in turn, contains: oyster extract, tapioca, starch, salt鈥�
鈥淭he notice on the door of the labour ward at Mike Carrette鈥檚 local maternity hospital says: 鈥淒elivery Room. PUSH鈥�
And so on, and so on, forever and ever.
LOOKING through , a website offering 鈥渃ustom crafted spells by Kimberley Rose and coven鈥�, Oli Dipple went to the 鈥淵outh Spells鈥� section and was pleased to find it offering an immortality spell.
鈥淭his casting will allow you to live a life of infinite age, never to die of natural causes,鈥� Fastspells promises, in the lurid colours we have come to expect from such sites. However, it wisely goes on to suggest that the immortality spell is best used in conjunction with the youth spell, 鈥渢o avoid an embarrassing appearance鈥�.
The youth spell 鈥渨ill allow you to remain full of youth, forever鈥�, the site assures us. 鈥淵ou will look and appear young throughout the duration of your life.鈥� What鈥檚 more 鈥� and this is a really neat bit of spell-casting, Feedback thinks 鈥� 鈥淚f you are already beyond your desired age, you will grow backwards, to achieve your desired youth-appearance.鈥�
We imagine that casting spells like these is quite laborious, so it鈥檚 hardly surprising that these spells cost $349 each. The 鈥淣o more cancer鈥� spells must be easier to cast. The standard-level spell only costs $39, while even the premium spell only costs $265 鈥� still a lot less than the spell that makes you grow backwards.
AS a science technician at a British secondary school, Robin Curnow鈥檚 responsibilities include buying in laboratory supplies. He recently received a delivery from Scientific & Chemical Supplies in the form of a large box with a red warning sticker saying 鈥淒o Not Open鈥�. Ignoring this, Curnow opened the box and found the items he had ordered duly boxed up and nestling in a sea of polystyrene chips 鈥� with every item plastered with the same 鈥淒o Not Open鈥� sticker. Emboldened by his initial success, Curnow decided to ignore the warnings, successfully unpacked the goods and got on with using them.
The stickers now adorn the door to his preparation room and chemicals store. Sadly, they have as much effect on the students and teachers as they had on him.
MANY thanks to Crystal French for alerting us to the song sung by 杏吧原创s For Better PCR and produced by biotech company Bio-Rad of Hercules, California. The lyrics of this surprisingly lavishly produced number, extolling the merits of polymerase chain reactions, begin as follows:
There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.
Then along came a guy named Dr Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well鈥�
The song builds to a stirring chorus:
PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.
You can see and hear the whole song via . Go on, you know you want to.
THE email Doug Cross sent us about a surprising statement on BBC Radio 4 news on 23 April got lost in our files. Now that we鈥檝e found it again, we think it deserves to be more widely known.
鈥淣ew research published in a journal of the Royal Society,鈥� said the BBC newscaster, 鈥渟uggests that women who try to conceive while eating cereals for breakfast are more likely to produce boys.鈥�
Cross wonders exactly how this research was carried out. Did the researchers just take the women鈥檚 word for it that they were eating cereal at the critical moment, or did they stand round the bedside and record what was happening on a clipboard?
FINALLY, the can of Sure Extreme Protection deodorant that Rachael Gibbins bought announced that it was 鈥淧roven to work at 58 掳C, the hottest temperature recorded on Earth鈥�.
And in the small print: 鈥淧rotect from sunlight and do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50 掳C.鈥�
鈥淲ords fail me,鈥� says Gibbins.