BROWSING Tesco supermarket鈥檚 online store, Diane Brown did a search for baking powder. She found it under a submenu entitled 鈥淭radnl Hmbking Ingrdints鈥�, which she assumed meant 鈥淭raditional Home-baking Ingredients鈥�. This alerted her to the knotty problem of classification faced by large supermarkets.
Moving on to the Tesco world of 鈥淏akery and Cakes鈥�, she discovered a submenu enticingly entitled 鈥淲orld and Speciality Bread鈥� 鈥� but when she got down to the sub-submenu, all it showed was a choice of 鈥淚rish or Speciality鈥�. What, she wondered, sets Irish bread apart from the other breads of the world, such as naan, pitta or ciabatta? The answer, it turned out, is that pitta and naan are 鈥淩olls, Bagels and Wraps鈥�, while ciabatta is a 鈥淪peciality鈥�, not a 鈥淏read of the World鈥�. As for French baguettes, she failed to find any except the garlicked variety.
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Questions kept occurring to her. Since Tesco was so picky about where bread-related products originate from, why was there a submenu dedicated to 鈥淐roissants and Crumpets鈥� 鈥� two breakfast items from distinctly opposite sides of the English Channel? Interestingly, 鈥淐roissants and Crumpets鈥� could be further subdivided into 鈥淐ontinental, Croissant鈥� and 鈥淐rumpets, Pancakes and Muffins鈥�. This, she thought, was counter-intuitive. Who would expect to find pancakes under 鈥淐roissants and Crumpets鈥�?
鈥淩obert Watson found a job advertisement on headlined 鈥淪enior Mine Geologist 鈥� Underground 鈥� Residential鈥�. Watson thinks this is taking job commitment to the extreme鈥�
To round off the confusion, she next found 鈥淲holemeal Baps鈥� under 鈥淲hite Rolls鈥�, and 鈥淲hite Sub Rolls鈥� under 鈥淏rown Rolls鈥�.
鈥淚鈥檓 sure other areas of grocery are just as convoluted in their classification system,鈥� Brown says, 鈥渂ut I鈥檓 rather losing the will to live at this point. Thank goodness I have my own bread-maker, and only have to worry about flour and yeast. Now, what, I wonder, is yeast? Is it a tradnl hmbking ingrdint?鈥�
STATE primary elections are a wonderful American tradition. Anyone 鈥� no matter how eccentric 鈥� who can collect enough signatures can get their name on the ballot for offices ranging from governor to鈥� 鈥� (a county councillor in New Jersey).
Reader Toshi Knell directs us to Javier Lopez as an example. This retired artist and inventor is running for governor of Washington state as a Republican. His candidate statement is merely a variation on the old 鈥渢hrow the rascals out鈥� theme, promising to restore the honesty and integrity that have been missing from government for too long. As an inventor, however, he has something special to offer: 鈥溾�n invention that will solve all of the world鈥檚 problems鈥�. This turns out to be an engine fuelled by air that could power an automobile. Adopting this technology, Lopez writes, would end 鈥渞eliance on fossil fuels, stopping carbon-monoxide emissions, pollution and global warming鈥�.
It鈥檚 not clear what he thinks the link between carbon monoxide and global warming is. Nor is it at all clear how his engine runs. But if an actor (Arnold Schwarzenegger, California) and a professional wrestler (Jesse Ventura, Minnesota) can be elected governors of other states, why not an off-the-wall inventor in Washington?
SCROLLING through images of E. coli courtesy of a famous search engine, John Wakeling came across a note that said: 鈥淐lick here for full size image.鈥� He couldn鈥檛 imagine how that could be an improvement over the thumbnail that he was looking at.
IS THIS Gaia gone mad? Esther Gooch noticed that the website of the states that: 鈥淔undamental to biodynamic gardening is the recognition that all life is interconnected. Each plant, each insect, the rocks below, the moving clouds and the stars above, all form part of the living organism of our planet.鈥�
The stars? Part of our planet? Can anyone explain?
CONTINUING our exploration of laundry balls, Stephen Driver thinks we may have been looking on the dark side when we suggested that laundry balls which claim to shrink water molecules could lead to thermonuclear unpleasantness (7 June).
Echoing the reaction of many to the destruction of Hiroshima on 6 August 1945, Driver wants to know how this awesome power can be tamed for the good of humanity? Specifically, he proposes: 鈥淚f sufficient of these laundry balls are put in the oceans, the molecule shrinkage of the seawater should counteract rising sea levels.鈥�
FINALLY, two weeks ago Peter Buck suggested that if there is a conference of 鈥減olinymous鈥� scientists 鈥� those with names of towns like Ann Arbor and Milton Keynes 鈥� then the obvious place to hold it would be Alice Springs (9 August).
Clive Teale suggests that a town in the middle of the Australian outback is too remote. He proposes holding the conference in Mavis Enderby in Lincolnshire, or perhaps Edith Weston, Leicestershire, both in the UK.
Jeremy Potter, with evident sybaritic tendencies, disagrees. 鈥淪urely,鈥� he says, 鈥渢he location for the conference must be the Paris Hilton.鈥�