Oh that this too, too solid liquid鈥�
IF YOU want to buy some 鈥渓iquid鈥� zeolite, the place to look, David Compton discovered, is , where bottles of the stuff can be bought for as little as 鈧�20 each.
Zeolite, the website tells us, is 鈥渘ature鈥檚 detoxifier [which] protects you by actively removing the heavy metals and toxins from your body!鈥� And it鈥檚 鈥�100 per cent organic and natural鈥�.
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This all sounds a bit unlikely to us, and sure enough the word 鈥渜uantum鈥� 鈥� one of our surefire indicators of fruitloopery 鈥� pops up in the 鈥淲hat is Zeolite?鈥� section: 鈥淭hrough a natural, proprietary process, concentrated quantum humic acid molecules have 鈥榥aturally digested鈥� the zeolite, holding it in permanent suspension鈥� Because the humic acid in liquid zeolite is in quantum, interdimensional form, and because the zeolite is actually suspended in the humic molecules, 100 per cent of liquid zeolite is carried into the cells鈥︹�� And so on 鈥� there鈥檚 lots more. Hands up anyone who can tell us what 鈥渜uantum, interdimensional form鈥� is.
David is unimpressed. He points out that none of the many zeolite minerals known are organic and that they are all solids, not liquids 鈥� and will remain so even if they are held in suspension. 鈥淗ow they could remove heavy metals from the body when consumed is a mystery,鈥� he says. 鈥淭he zeolite will stay in the gut and be excreted, so will have no contact with the bloodstream.鈥�
To which we can鈥檛 help but add: if, by some route hitherto unknown to science, the zeolite does get 鈥渋nto the cells鈥�, it will release toxic aluminium ions there. This can hardly be described as detoxifying.
FEEDBACK鈥檚 reference to the kiloSteve, a proposed unit in the sociology of science prompted by the news that 1000 scientists called Steve, or variations thereof, had declared their support for evolution (28 February 2009) led Hal Kouns to recall an earlier unit of belief.
Apparently, colleagues of the physicist Robert Millikan 鈥� he of the classic oil-drop experiment to measure the charge on the electron 鈥� were inspired to create a unit to measure self-belief. Observing Millikan鈥檚 robust sense of his own worth, they concluded that the fundamental unit should be called the Kan. But since this is too large for computations involving more modest mortals, the practical unit we would measure our sense of our importance with would be the milliKan.
One of the world鈥檚 biggest eco-mistakes
ESCAPING from an electronics show in Las Vegas recently, a colleague of ours was able to explore one of the world鈥檚 biggest eco-mistakes. The Salton Sea is 1000 square kilometres of inland lake, created when the Colorado river flooded a southern Californian desert valley in 1905. In the 1950s, the 鈥渟ea鈥� was promoted as a Riviera-type resort, close to the luxurious golf courses of Palm Springs and an ideal weekend escape from Hollywood. In addition, thanks to lobbying by the late pop star-turned-politician Sonny Bono, the sea was made a nature reserve for huge flocks of migrating ducks and geese.
Unfortunately, evaporation and fertiliser run-off from the surrounding farmland have made the Salton Sea far more salty than the Pacific Ocean. On top of that, algal blooms periodically cause oxygen levels in the lake to plummet, leading to the mass deaths of huge numbers of tilapia fish that breed there. Soon after, the shore stinks to high heaven, which drives people out of the decaying holiday towns built by 鈥淩iviera鈥� speculators.
Politicians are now engaged in fierce debate over whether the federal government should spend a fortune on freshwater irrigation to save the sea and its ghost towns, or cut its losses and let the desert reclaim the valley.
Linda York, who runs a local wildfowl rescue centre, has an uncomfortable thought about the latter option. She told our colleague that it would cause the birds to fly on to Palm Springs, where they would spot the lovely green golf courses there and bury them under a mountain of droppings after eating all the grass. 鈥淎nd because most of the birds are protected species, no one will be able to do a darn thing to stop the destruction.鈥�
A LIFE insurance advertisement that Elizabeth Cox came across in the UK magazine Radio Times extolled the policy it was promoting thus: 鈥淭he full death benefit is payable after just one year. If you pass away within the first 12 months you may only get back the premiums you paid.鈥�
鈥淭he scissors Richard Briggs bought from Amazon came in a pack carrying the message: 鈥淭o remove scissors from pack, carefully cut cable tie using scissors鈥�
鈥淎nd there was I thinking my relatives would get it,鈥� says Elizabeth sadly.
What is an amateur fatalist centre?
HOLIDAYING in Sarawak, Borneo, Jenny Narraway was puzzled by a sign announcing: 鈥淎mateur fatalist centre鈥�. Her mental picture of a group of gloomy people sitting around sighing in an unprofessional manner was only partly dispelled when enquiries among Chinese acquaintances produced the information that it was 鈥渟omething to do with feng shui and fortune-telling鈥�.