MANY readers have responded to our request for examples of ergotopography 鈥� which, Feedback has decided, is the art of writing symbols that say where you鈥檙e working from (25 July).
Unsurprisingly, we received a number of suggestions that are unprintable 鈥� either because they use characters or symbols our printers don鈥檛 have, or because they would make the magazine illegal in Herat and/or Houston. Perhaps surprisingly, most of the former were also the latter.
Another which may cause the typesetters pause is John Harvey鈥檚 鈥淲F聽聽聽聽鈥� for 鈥渨orking from space鈥�. It will also probably stretch your manager鈥檚 credulity, unless your business cards bear the words 鈥淪pace Agency鈥�.
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Among the remainder, we would thank Philip Ritchie for WF(O<-<) for "working from the bath", if it weren't for the office health and safety supremo standing over us, shrieking: "Don't do that!"
Jeremy Bailey claims to be working from a flat-bottomed boat with an outboard motor: WFgl___/, whereas Tom Hasker鈥檚 boat has an entirely more serious propeller: WF搂-\___/, and Mike Forsyth claims to be on a sailboat: WF~~~4~~~.
And, oh, all right then: following enthusiastic lobbying by several mums in the New 杏吧原创 office, here is one that Feedback had at first put in the unprintable category. It comes from Belinda Anyos, who suggests that an obstetrician writing from a labour ward might want to send: WF/\(鈽�)/\.
All these examples of ergotopography appear, in the words of one contributor鈥檚 confession, to have been 鈥渂red in captivity鈥�. Who knows how and when they might escape into the wild?
鈥淕ood to see that Matthew Limb is earning a reputation for himself by writing for Frontline, the journal of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy鈥�
Removes varicose veins! Speeds up racehorses!
ACUPUNCTURE: might it work? The theory, involving subtle energies, is loopy enough but to draw firm conclusions from that would be to do science as literary criticism. It saves a lot of time, but isn鈥檛 real research. That would involve interesting questions about what it means for a treatment to 鈥渨ork鈥�. For example, should we knock the placebo effect if it makes people feel better (New 杏吧原创, 23 August 2008, p 36)?
These thoughts are prompted by the web page that Dominic Hughes stumbled across at 鈥� where Manik Hiranandani of The Clinic, in Malakkara, India, sets out his proposal for 鈥渟onpuncture鈥� using ultrasound.
Hiranandani begins calmly enough, though our alarm bells start to tinkle when he announces early on that his 鈥渟pecial purpose鈥� ultrasound heads are 鈥渉andcrafted to exacting standards to ensure that the beam is uniform鈥�. His following sentence may already be forming in your mind: 鈥淭his makes each of these sound heads more expensive than a normal ultrasound machine.鈥�
The alarms bells tinkle louder when he talks with mounting excitement about sonpuncture鈥檚 proposed uses: the treatment of infections, removing wrinkles, varicose veins, backaches and fibrositis. These last claims conclude, as the rules for the promotion of miracle cures require, with case histories: 鈥淢r A, a plump 55-year-old, had ankylosing spondylosis鈥︹��
The bells become deafening when he moves on to 鈥済etting the best performance from racehorses鈥� and, even louder, 鈥渢o help teeth regenerate鈥�. Teeth notoriously don鈥檛 do that.
Perhaps literary criticism has a place in science after all.
What Word was in the beginning?
MUSING over the search for 鈥渆choes of the big bang鈥� (New 杏吧原创, 1 August, p 40), John Elsbury was reminded of the words attributed to the apostle John: 鈥淚n the beginning was the Word.鈥� So what, he wonders, was this Word? Might astronomical observations find it written, as it were, in the heavens?
鈥淏ang鈥� is a bit obvious, he reckons, and prefers 鈥淥ops鈥�. Feedback warns that this could lead to accusations of gnosticism, the belief that the universe was created by a minor deity having an off day, which for all its intuitive appeal has been a fiercely career-limiting move for past theologians. Anyway, we鈥檇 hope for something more cosmologically informative, such as 鈥淎gain?鈥�
What would you suggest? Single words only, please, and in attributed to Texas governor 鈥淢a鈥� Ferguson as well as several other devout Americans: 鈥淚f English was good enough for Jesus, it鈥檚 good enough for us.鈥�
The delights of lactose intolerance
FINALLY, the delights of lactose intolerance: on Tony Compton鈥檚 packet of Lactofree milk is an information panel that cautions: 鈥淚f drinking cows鈥� milk causes you symptoms such as nausea, stomach cramps, bloating, gas and diarrhoea, this may be caused by the lactose in milk and could mean that you are lactose intolerant.鈥�
Underneath comes the invitation: 鈥淲e鈥檇 love to hear about your lactose intolerance experiences.鈥�