High-tech herbs on an astral plane
FEEDBACK鈥橲 quest to classify fruitloop 鈥渞emedies鈥� appears to have uncovered a new genus: high-tech plants. Why market a boring old herbal remedy containing something related to the weed milk-vetch when you can squint sideways at the Linnaean name of its family of plants, , ignore the fact that 鈥渁stragalus鈥� is Ancient Greek for 鈥渁nkle bone鈥�, and call it 鈥溾��? (Feedback assumes, and we do hope we are correct, that the 鈥渞are astragalus extract鈥� involved is not from another member of the family, locoweed, so named because it sends livestock crazy.)
It鈥檚 not the name that is high-tech, however, but what claims Astral Fruit can do. It supposedly activates an enzyme that rebuilds your telomeres 鈥� the strands of DNA that cap the ends of your chromosomes. These get shorter as you get older. So, it would seem, keeping them long must keep you young 鈥� mustn鈥檛 it? And that would be well worth paying $84.95 a month for 鈥� wouldn鈥檛 it?
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We just have to hope that telomere trimming does not turn out 鈥� contrary to the hopes of some researchers into ageing 鈥� to be evolution鈥檚 way of getting rid of pre-cancerous cells, as some .
Meanwhile, we confidently predict that this fruitloop high-tech plant family will expand its niche. Indeed, given the website鈥檚 decision to name itself 鈥淩evGenetics鈥�, we even predict that the next step could be the appearance of a sub-family of genetically enhanced, high-tech, all-natural herb remedies. Won鈥檛 that be exciting?
鈥淩obert Riden welcomes A. R. George鈥檚 鈥渕asterly鈥� edit of The Babylonian Gilgamesh Epic, but wonders if the NZ$125,547,710,814 asked for it on isn鈥檛 鈥渟omewhat extravagant鈥�
EVERY few days Feedback receives an email from someone called 鈥淭erry鈥� inquiring about placing a classified advert. New 杏吧原创 of course welcomes adverts, even if mis-addressed. But why, we wondered, would someone want to use this magazine鈥檚 highly focused weekly services to publicise an offer to give away 鈥渢wo Yorkshire鈥� (terriers) in 鈥渢omorrow鈥檚 edition鈥�? Our suspicions vis-脿-vis scam or spam were reinforced by receiving similar requests on our home computer.
So we searched and discovered that 鈥淭erry鈥� uses the address cravendunnillcoltd@gmail.com and, besides emailing New 杏吧原创, he has placed dozens of ads on websites in Australia, Canada and the US, which on the face of it suggests the dogs in question have a penchant for travel.
The email address also appears on lists of alleged 鈥渁dvance fee鈥� scams such as Joe Wein鈥檚 鈥渄omain blacklist鈥� at . But if it is indeed a scam, we are still left wondering how it works.
Meanwhile, our hearts go out to , makers of fine ceramic tiles who have nothing to do with Terry鈥檚 Yorkshire terriers and no doubt rue the day Terry chose an email address so similar to their own.
WHEN Vivian Unger sent a work of fiction to Asimov鈥檚 Science Fiction (ASF) magazine, using their online submission form, a page came up thanking her, giving her a tracking number and telling her: 鈥淎t present, our average response time is five weeks with a range covering five weeks to three months.鈥�
This means, Vivian deduced, that their average response time is also their fastest response time. Could this be possible, even for a science fiction magazine accustomed to imagining things currently believed to be impossible, such as faster-than-light warp drives?
Vivian speculates that it may be a question of rounding. If ASF never responds to submissions in less than five weeks, but takes three months to respond to one out of every 1000 submissions, the average submission would be 35.049 days, or close enough to five weeks.
But perhaps this is being too fanciful. Only ASF can explain.
Relieving the symptoms of everyday life
READER Philip Woolfe was struck by this product description on the website of the UK pharmacy chain Boots: 鈥淏oots St John鈥檚 Wort is becoming increasingly popular in helping to relieve some of the symptoms associated with everyday life.鈥�
Peter wonders what symptoms they are referring to. Do they include breathing, for example? Eating? Consciousness? Going to the toilet?
Feedback wonders if they would recommend cyanide as an alternative for those who want to relieve all the symptoms, not just some of them.
In an emergency, get on all fours
FINALLY, the fire procedures manual at Lynda Hopkins鈥檚 place of work says that in the event of fire, staff should 鈥渆xit the building horizontally鈥�.
She thinks this may be a reference to the fact that there are no stairs for staff to navigate, rather than a recommendation that they exit on all fours.
鈥淧ersonally,鈥� she adds, 鈥渟hould a fire break out I intend to leave vertically 鈥� with speed.鈥�